My heart doesn't love right
It yearns and aches
edging itself with tears
Waiting to be loved back
In the Time Zone
of "Unrequited Always"
For Months ...sometimes Years
Sometimes Longer.
Like Forever.
***
Never the dream
And barely the fantasy
Always outside everyone’s
- Risk profile
- Boundaries
- Kink Limits
- Comfort Zone
- Politics
- Orientation
- Geographical Location
- Patience
- Lifestyle Choice
- Aesthetic Preference
All Valid. But I'm still left waiting.
Wondering...
Hoping ...
***
Setting up Residency
In the Unrequited Always
Clicking on a screen for oxytocin
Way past midnight
Like a Lab Rat
***
Longing for the one delusion
That I cant seem to let go of:
A knight
- Doesn't need the shiny armor
Just:
- Compassion
- Honor
- Loyalty
- Tenderness
- Endurance
- Stamina
- Willingness to suffer thru any hell
....For the privilege of my heart
(I promise you, I'm worth it.)
With all its scars and its atrophied state
From spending so much time
- Hidden
- Ignored
- Sheltered in jars
***
I don't want to seem:
- Easily Discarded
- Desperate
- Exploitable
- Needy
- Weak
- Demanding
- High Maintenance
- Naive
***
In the Unrequited Always
For so very long
The bruises and blemishes of heartbreak
Become easier and easier to discover
Harder and harder to hide
***
The truth hurts
Waiting hurts
Hope hurts.
***
It really fucking hurts to hold a galaxy’s worth of love
And no one to share it with.
Maybe that’s why stars are made of dust?
Billions of years watching, waiting, hoping...
Not ever knowing who to trust,
Which for love to blossom is an absolute must.
