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When I was all laid

Satirical take on HMS Pinafore's When I was a Lad

I was just sixteen when I began to learn

How acting bad would make my bum burn.

My mother and father never spared the rod.

They thought beating me was ordained by God.

But such punishment did not deliver me,

And I became a slut, as anyone can see.

From dirty words to naughty pranks

My adventures earned me lots of spanks.

But lying bare-bottom over daddy's knee

Just encouraged me to act more naughtily.

But daddy spanked me so heartily,

That I became a slut, as anyone can see.

My thoughts became ever so bawdy

As I lay naked over daddy's knee.

His sharp strokes made my buttocks glow

As I felt his hard cock below me grow.

Its growing so large so excited me,

That I became a slut, as anyone can see.

I broke so many obscenity laws

That my bum was subject to the tawse.

I had worn out switches and the cane

For I got whipped again and again.

But strict discipline so energized me,

That I became a slut, as anyone can see.

Shame was used to curb my crime

As I stood naked during corner time.

Panties at ankles and hands atop my head

My cheeks top and bottom were quite red.

But nude humiliation so appealed to me,

That I became a slut, as anyone can see.

Mum despaired so much that I was sent

To learn obedience at a nun’s convent.

But the sisters there were horny as all hell

And did to me things that I'd blush to tell!

They took me from novice to sex devotee,

And I became a slut, as any one can see.

I learned to do penance on my knees

For randy priests and nuns to please.

I was told to attend to whatever did arise

As I knelt naked between the prelate's thighs.

But sucking cock and cunt so delighted me,

That I became a slut, as anyone can see.

For my sins there was much repentance

Five hours in the pillory was my sentence.

Bent and bound, I knew what came next.

My fate: oral, anal and vaginal sex.

Such multi-tasking sex so energized me,

That I became a slut, as anyone can see.

The nuns and priests demanded contrition

I was made to pray in a very odd position:

My limbs stretched out like a naked 'X"

Bound to a bed and bound to have sex.

I submitted to their wishes so voluntarily,

That I became a slut, as anyone can see.

So naughty girls all no matter what you think

Eschew drugs, tobacco or strong drink.

Instead take the vows of a libidinous nun;

Service in the Church can be much more fun.

Bondage and Discipline may captivate thee.

And you all may become sluts, just like me.

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

Copyright © This is copyrighted and belongs to BIC. It may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the written or e-mailed permission of the author. Who steals my purse, steals base lead. Who steals my lines, robs me of my soul.

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