Entering the lounge from the outside my eyes adjusted to the dimness after the bright light outside. I let my gaze travel around the room taking in the surroundings and the customers at the tables and bar. This was my first time here and I was orienting myself, not only to this lounge, but also to the city I now found myself in.
After six months of job hunting I had found myself here in this mid-western city. Lucky enough to find a job, even if it paid less than I was making before, I was in the process of learning my new home. My studio apartment was adequate for the needs of a single man. It had a fine little kitchenette where I could prepare meals. I had cooked all my life. That was no problem. But I did love the company of people. I could not stay there all of the time.
I had found many nice little local diners and restaurants to eat out when it pleased me. And I enjoyed sharing the ambience with others. I ate out maybe 3 or 4 times a week. I was becoming known in some places by the waitstaff and the even the cooks in the smaller, less elegant joints. I had been to a few bars and lounges and had not found what I would call a "home" yet. I always loved to have a place to call my own, where I was known and liked.
So I at last came to this lounge about 3 blocks from my apartment building. Well within walking distance, so there was no worry about driving under the influence. I could enjoy myself and still just walk home when I was ready to leave. I was so hoping to have found a nice place to establish some friendships. To feel welcome.
The best move in a new place was always to sit at the bar and get to know the bartenders. They knew all the regulars and all the gossip and they were the ones you wanted on your side. You wanted them to like you if at all possible. So I strolled over to the center of the bar running the length of the room and took a stool. Of course there was a mirror behind the bar so one could check out the whole room.
The bartender approached and I smiled at him.
"What's your pleasure?"
"I'll have a 7 and 7 to start thanks. Can I run a tab?"
"Sure, no problem."
"I'm Cliff. I'm new in town."
"Hello Cliff. Welcome to Shadows. Call me Bill."
"Thanks. Thanks a lot Bill."
He brought me my drink but it was busy so he did not linger. The bar was filling up. When I arrived there had been only a scattering of people around the room. Over in a corner was a mousy little thing. Not overly pretty but she had a certain charm about her. There were a few other ladies and men around the room, but for some reason she had caught my eye.
She had her brunette hair in a short wave to her shoulders. Her simple dress was flowered and was sleeveless in accommodation to the summer weather. But I saw a sweater next to her in case the A/C became too strong. I saw she was nursing a pink drink of some kind. I was in no rush to meet her. I wanted to be liked around here and not known as the one always hitting on the girls. So I returned to my drink.
The evening wore on. I carried on a sporadic conversation with Bill, getting to know him and letting him get to know me. And finally I knew I had reached my limit.
"Say, Bill. Can I pay up now. I need to leave."
"Sure Cliff. Here's your ticket. Hope you liked Shadows."
"I did. I'll be back soon. Keep the change."
So, I had found a nice place. I would be back, indeed. I walked home in about 15 minutes and went to bed. I had my job to get to tomorrow and I had to keep making a good impression there, too. I was liking my new home.
Two days later, after having dinner at a little burger joint I went to Shadows again. This time I was glad to see that Bill was on duty behind the bar again. I would not have to get to know a new barkeep. I also noticed the little mouse over in the corner, nursing her pink drink again.
"Hey Bill. Nice to see you."
"You too Cliff. 7 and 7 again?"
"Sure, thanks for remembering."
"We aim to please."
He brought my drink and I thanked him. Then, as he was not too busy, I asked about the little lady in the corner. He got a tense look in his eyes.
"She's special. Her name is Lucinda. Let me tell it straight. If she gets hurt by anyone it would be bad for that person. Understood?"
"Let's be clear, Bill. I am not a horn dog. Understand that please. I have never hurt any lady in my life. Never would. Okay?"
"We'll just leave it there, Cliff. I thought you were okay. I want to keep thinking that."
Bill was a little short with me for awhile during the evening but he finally cooled down. We had a good chat whenever he was not busy. Again I reached my limit, paid my tab, and left Bill his tip. Another lonely walk home. Another day of work the next day. But the little lady was haunting my thoughts.
That Saturday I made my own dinner. I couldn't afford to eat out every night. I was on a budget of sorts. But I left room in the budget for my visits to Shadows. I went there after cleaning up after my meal. It was about 8 in the evening.
The lounge was full. I walked towards the bar but it was full. I waved at Bill. He waved back and went back to work. Looking around I noticed my little brunette was at her table in the corner. A man was leaning over her. I was not close enough to hear anything, and couldn't over the music in any case. But I saw a look in her eyes that told me something not too good was happening.
I strolled slowly over. I was still new here. I was still feeling my way. It would not be a good idea to get into something without understanding the situation. As I approached her table the brunette glanced into my eyes and I saw what I knew was a pleading look.
"Hi Lucinda. I hope I'm not too late. Boy, it's busy tonight. Are you going to need a new drink soon?"
"Oh hi. I was wondering where you were. This is John. I don't really know him."
"Well, John, I wonder if you would let me into the booth with Lucinda? Nice to meet you."
He glared at me. I smiled back. I kept smiling as I sat across from Lucinda.
"Hi Lucinda. Hi Cliff. Do you two need drinks?"
It was Bill. I had not even noticed him approaching. Behind him was Todd, the bouncer. John glanced at them, at me, at Lucinda, and decided he might as well be on his way. He made a wise choice. Now I had to make one.
"Lucinda, I was just helping out. I can leave. Bill, thanks for the backup."
"The lady is her own woman, and she can make up her own mind. Do you want another drink Lucinda? And should I bring Cliff his 7 and 7?"
"Thanks so much Bill. You can have Cindy bring me my usual. And I would be glad to share a drink with Cliff. He really was helping me. You're the best Bill."
So I spent the evening talking with a most interesting and intelligent woman. As I said, she was no beauty, but her looks were never what I was interested in anyway. She was honest, bright, and entertaining. I found we shared a love of Baroque music, as well as alternative rock. We liked the same artists and our reading lists were almost a match. Well-educated, she was a charmer and perfect as far as I could tell.
Finally, I told her I had to leave. I asked if I could escort her to her car or the subway.
"Oh, no, Cliff. I'm fine. I have my own way home. I had a lovely time. I'd love to see you here again sometime."
"Good, then you will. We'll just leave it open then. Ciao, Lucinda."
I went up to the bar, paid my tab and tried to pay Lucinda's. I was not allowed to do so. Apparently that was not something one could do.
Waving goodnight to Lucinda, and to the room, I left for my little studio apartment. It had been a great night.
This began a new phase in my life. I was at Shadows almost every night now. And Lucinda was almost always there. But not always. When she was not there I spent my time getting to know the other bartenders and the waitstaff, male and female. It was a friendly place. Mostly. The bouncer Todd had to do a little business on occasion. John was one he finely threw out after he kept hounding the women.
When Lucinda was there she always arrived before me. Finally she told me that she was there from opening until closing. It was her true home. She hated to go to her own apartment. But here she felt safe and wanted. Being incredibly shy, she had taken months to really get to know the staff there, but now they all adored her.
She seldom spent time with any men. I think I may have been the first in a very long time. I felt a certain pride in that. We did enjoy ourselves, and I never saw her frowning while I was there. Her smile kept the lounge well lit. But I always left before her. Even when I stayed until closing she never allowed me to escort her home. I always left first. It was odd. But I really didn't care.
At last the inevitable occurred. I don't know how she could keep it up forever. I left at final call one night and started walking home, after having said goodnight to all my new friends. I was halfway home when I realized I had left my wallet on the counter when I paid my tab. I had no doubt that Bill or someone else would set it aside for me. But I wanted all the identification and cards. The lounge would not re-open until 2 in the afternoon the next day. I didn't want to wait that long.
Turning around, I hoped to catch them before they locked up for the night. As I came around the corner nearing the front doors I noticed a taxicab at the curb. Waiting by the car was the driver. Out of the door came Bill, and he was pushing a wheelchair. Lucinda was in it.
This was the secret.
I turned around and went to my apartment.
The next night I was at Shadows. Lucinda was in her booth. Bill was behind the bar.
I went down the hall past the restrooms. I went into the janitor's closet and found it. The chair.
I pushed it out to the main room. Bill looked up and started around the end of the bar. I rolled up to Lucinda's table. She was aghast. I could see the fear in her face. We had become so close. This was how it was going to end. I sat in the wheelchair.
I looked deep into her eyes and then I said what I needed to say.
"I don't care!"
It was something I had never thought would happen to me. I had given up hope of finding anyone who would accept me. I must be clear. I had many friends. They did love me, that I was sure of. All of the people at Shadows had been so good to me since that day I had rolled in and looked perfectly forlorn, I am sure.
So many years had passed since I first became paralyzed. It had been a boating accident. I was water skiing on the lake we went to every summer. I was only 17 years old and I had never been with a boy. I had always since believed I never would.
It was my mother who told me when I woke up in the hospital. My father was in the corner and was not taking it well at all. My mother was the strong one. I think I may have got my own strength from her. I had handled it well, I thought. Even though I had my bad nights when I cried myself to sleep.
The paralysis was from the waist down. It had been a spinal injury. But I had done lots of research in the years after my accident. I had attended college and did quite well. Now I knew quite well what I could or could not do. And what my body could do for me. Now in my 30th year I was still a virgin but I knew that I could still have relations with a man. If I could ever find one whom I could trust, and who would love me the way I needed to be loved.
Now, here was a man who seemed perfect. And my condition did not matter to him! Could I trust him? Bill was standing near. He had been my rock for a long time. I looked at him and smiled. He smiled too and went back behind the bar.
"Cliff. I don't know what to say. I really didn't want this to happen this way. I don't know what I was thinking. Perhaps I just wanted to forget this condition of mine whenever I was with you. I'm so sorry that I was deceitful. I really am quite honest usually."
"Forget it Lucinda. You know who I am. You know me. I'm Cliff. I want you to be clear about this. I've adored you for weeks. I still do. That's not changing. It never will. So, how do you feel about me? Do I have a chance with you? I know you're out of my class. I'm just a working man who's fallen in love."
"You make me blush. I've never had a boyfriend. Am I too old to say that? Can we go slow? This is all so very new to me."
"Of course we can go slowly. That's what I've been doing anyway." And he laughed.
We did go slowly. After some weeks of meeting only at Shadows, Cliff and I decided to actually go out in the world together. My wheelchair was powered, of course, so we started taking walks together in the park and even downtown, stopping when we wanted and just getting to know each other.
At last it was time to move on with the relationship. I was a bright woman with sexual needs. They had never been fulfilled, except by me arousing and making myself orgasm in the lonely confines of my own bedroom. This was what so many people didn't understand. Paraplegics could still have sex. The nerves that controlled our sexual organs did not go through the spine. They were separate and had their own pathway to the brain. And of course the brain was the most potent sex organ of all.
I made the first move. I knew Cliff now. I knew he was the ultimate gentleman. He might never raise the subject if I didn't let him know it was alright.
When we were sitting in Shadows late one evening on a Friday night I put my hand on his leg beside me. I ran my hand up his thigh and touched his private area. I felt it start to get hard. I had never done this. I was a little afraid, but I loved him, and needed him.
"Cliff, I know this is forward of me. I am a lady. But I have needs. Please understand. I have never been with a man, but, oh, my god, I so want to. Please. You have to help me if you truly love me."
"Lucy. Sweetheart. You are my love and my life. I've wanted to make love to you for weeks now. I promise, I'll be gentle and make this wonderful for you. I promise. You'll never regret giving me your love and all that goes with it. Oh, you can't understand how much I've wanted this. You're making me happier than I have any right to be."
We left soon after that, not staying until closing, and as we moved through the lounge I glanced over and saw Bill smiling at me. Softly and with happiness in his eyes.
Cliff and I went to my apartment. I would feel safer and more comfortable there. We both knew that. And as we rolled and walked into the living room Cliff stopped, looked around, and took in my art and books and decorations. He had never been here. This was all new in every way for me and for him.
I stopped, looked up at him, and he leaned over and gave me the first kiss of my life from a man other than a relative. It was good. He placed his hand on the back of my head and caressed my brown curls. He softly kissed my lips and I became more eager to kiss him back, harder and with more passion. I could feel something in my sweet area. I was getting aroused. He took my hand and placed it on his crotch. I felt his long and hard manhood expanding and growing and it aroused me more and more.
"I'm going to pick you up and carry you into your bedroom. Is this what you want Lucy?"
"Please do it Cliff. Please make love to me. Oh, I can't believe how much I need this. I need it so badly. I am ready and I need it."
He put his arms under me and then carried me. The bedroom door was open and welcoming. Cliff placed me gently upon my bed and adjusted my dress. He put pillows under my head and then began to take off his clothes. I had never seen a nude man before in real life. As he took his clothes off he was telling me about his body. He was being kind and helpful. It was making me get hotter and hotter. My breasts were becoming swollen around the nipples. They were tender and making me feel good.
When he was completely naked he started taking my clothes off. Again he was talking all the time. He described what he felt like looking at my body. Telling me how beautiful I was to him and how my body was getting him horny and wanting to make love to me. I was getting more and more wet in my tender pussy area. I had not often used those terms. But I was feeling more and more naughty and happy to be a sexy woman for my man.
Finally he laid his body next to mine and embraced me while he squeezed and tickled my breasts and kissed my swollen lips. He nuzzled my neck and licked my ears and I could feel my pussy getting wetter and wetter. At last I couldn't take any more of this love making. I needed the real thing. I needed his cock in my pussy. I had read those words but never used them. I wanted to use them over and over again. I wanted his cock in my pussy. I wanted to fuck.
"Please, Cliff, I need more. Please put your cock into me. I need to be fucked. Please, oh god, please fuck me."
He kissed me and moved over me with his cock between my legs. He had to move them apart. I could not. But he sucked my nipples and slowly pressed his cock into my pussy. I was very wet. I wanted this. I wanted it so badly. He pushed harder and harder and saw on my face the pleasure and pain mixed in the first act of love. He took my maidenhead. He took my cherry. He fucked me. And he kept fucking and fucking until I had my first cum from fucking. It was all I had hoped and prayed it would be.
"Lucy, love. That was the best love making I've ever had. You're the perfect lover. You know that, dear? You're perfect. I want to do this over and over for the rest of our lives."
Bill and Todd and Cindy, and all of the Shadows staff were at our wedding. I had found my love.
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