The hospital room seems cold to Ella's face and toes. She's not exactly cozy in the bed, but at least she seems to have an extra blanket now that's keeping her core sufficiently warm. She sways her head to the left as her eyes flutter open again – is this the hundredth time today? – finding the lights and beeps of the nearby equipment and monitors oddly consoling. In and out of sleep for the last few hours, she's physically exhausted, but looking forward to getting back to life as normal. The new normal, not the previous normal.
She rolls her head to the right, her attention drawn by the pattering of the light rain against the window, descending from the cold, gray winter sky. Leafless branches sway in the whipping wind. It must be early afternoon, as she recalls having a few spoonfuls of hot soup and a few swallows of juice for lunch a few dozes ago. She is deep in thought, identifying the similarities between her current circumstances and a previous life event. She recalls the last time she was not feeling so well and looking out a window onto a rainy landscape.
• § • § • § • § • § •
Ella was jolted awake by her head hitting the window she was slumped against. The ride wasn't supposed to be this bumpy. Modern motor coaches were supposed to be smooth and comfortable. Maybe it was her pissy mood, maybe her headache, maybe the fact that breakfast wasn't agreeing with her – she knew she couldn't blame the driver or the coach or the tour company, but she surely wanted to blame someone for her misery.
After four years of marriage, each rockier than the last, this was supposed to be a trip to set things right. Lucas wasn't good with money, spending more than he should have for, well, most things, including this vacation. Sure, it was nice, airfare and train rides to get them to and around the UK, choice accommodations, classy meals and a bottle of wine each night. But somehow this felt empty, a temporary release before being thrown back into the reality of life back at home: the reality of a precarious employment situation with mounting debt and no savings; the reality of “friends” who encouraged living beyond their means; the reality of nagging parents wanting grandkids, at odds with her fears of botching the responsibility of bringing another human into this world, not to mention into the romanceless relationship that seemed to have less of a chance to succeed with each passing month.
They had it together on the outside, posting cute photos to their social media accounts over the previous few days, hoping that the Likes and Comments would provide the validation that they craved. The same validation that gave them a bump when responses to news of their indulgences came their way, such as their downtown condo almost two years before. But superficial fleeting reactions seemed only to magnify their need for true fulfillment.
Even sex was infrequent and mechanical at this point. Vacation sex was supposed to be exciting, and Ella had high hopes that the change of scenery would bring about a change of attitude, with him spending time attending to her emotional as well as physical needs. But the one time they had done it that week, it felt just like it always did, like he was still just using her to quickly get himself off.
As the coach made another slow, rocking turn, Ella's eyes caught her reflection; she wiped away the tear that was camouflaged by the rain-streaked window. Today was supposed to be one of the highlights of the trip: a day-long bus tour with a group to explore the lush fields and dramatic cliffs and rugged hills on the Isle of Syke in the Northwest of Scotland. If there was one thing that held these two together, it was their appreciation of nature and spending time in the outdoors, something their life at home mostly lacked nowadays. She had been looking forward to enjoying this day, but with the condition of the weather and her head and stomach, the hope of a great time was fading fast.
With a final bump and hiss from the air brakes, the coach drew to a stop, and the passengers scurried to depart, aided by Owen the tour guide finishing whatever cultural knowledge he was trying to impart to the tourists. Ella made her way down the aisle behind Lucas, wanting to punch that display at the front of the coach that read “9°C”. The best math she could do was to guess that the temperature in Fahrenheit was in the forties. She snugged up her jacket and scarf around her neck and stepped out into the gray, cold wind. Late May, well into Spring, and the weather was like this? Fuck.
“Well, I doubt we'll be happening upon any of those faeries Owen was talking about,” Lucas said.
“Oh yeah, this is the Faerie Glen? Why wouldn't there be faeries?”
“Um, yeah.” Obviously she wasn't listening when Owen was telling them about the myths of the mischievous faeries who were said to inhabit the Glen and inflict malevolence upon unwelcome visitors. “I don't think even they'd be fool enough to be out in this weather.”
As Ella and Lucas made their way through the rolling meadow, the surrounding swirling mist partially obscured the scenery, lush green mounds and rocks stretching in every direction. The horizon was too near, as the light rain blended into the gray sky just a few hundred yards away.
“You're not feeling well?” Lucas' voice sounded more disappointed than concerned for her.
“No, the bumpy ride, not doing well for my stomach, that's for sure.”
“Ugh, sorry.” He was probably trying to comfort her, but they weren't very good at this sort of thing.
“And I have a headache.” And I'm fucking cold, she thought, but what was the point of even saying it?
They found themselves separated from the group, hearing voices and sighting an occasional red or yellow jacket a ways off, as they trudged up a rock outcropping.
“At least we're out in the fresh air.” Ella tried to put a positive spin on things.
“Interesting how that fog layer is just hanging there,” Lucas observed, looking down into a depression a short distance away.
“Let's go,” Ella offered. “Fog just sitting there means no wind, and this wind is cutting me in half up here!”
The wind indeed let up on their way down the hill. Ella began to feel warmer, and it was no longer raining, but she couldn't even acknowledge the small comforts. As they approached the fog layer, their still surroundings grew eerily but beautifully quiet, allowing them to hear the squishing of their shoes in the saturated turf.
Someone walking slowly in the distance, almost enveloped by the fog, captured their attention. Glancing at each other briefly, they wordlessly decided to continue, not able to discern if the person was walking toward them or away. It was soon evident that the figure was a female, as they had closed the gap between them enough to recognize the curve of her hips as they slowly swayed, and then the jutting of her breasts as she turned. They came to one of the dykes Owen had pointed out earlier on the ride: a low wall of stone and earth, stretching into the fog in each direction, with a small gap, as if to invite them through.
They were now close enough to the woman to see that she was naked, but somehow didn't even consider her nudity odd or alarming, or even sexual. Her natural state was simply a feature of the pure landscape.
Removed from the harshness of the rain and wind, they both considered their jackets were too much for the area into which they had wandered, taking them off and laying them on the wall along with Ella's scarf. Without a word, they stepped through the gap in the dyke, as if responding to the woman's unspoken invitation.
Silhouetted against a soft orange glow now emanating from the mist beyond her, the woman slowly walked in tight circles, leading them to join her, not only in her direction but also in her natural state of undress. Neither of the two thinking about their act consciously, they slowly removed each other's clothes, laying them on the wall, until they were as naked as the mysterious woman. Their bare feet made depressions in the tall, soft grass as they plodded ahead, unaware of any particular temperature change, still feeling the cool air, but mysteriously unbothered, even soothed by it.
As they walked hand in hand toward the glow the woman had entered, Ella smiled a smile she hadn't smiled in years, the sour feeling in her stomach replaced by butterflies she hadn't felt in years. She couldn't remember the last time Lucas had held her hand as they walked. Fingers intertwined, he squeezed gently, and she reciprocated.
The woman had stopped by now, and as the couple approached her, her features were clear, lit by the small fire that was the source of the glow. She was an ageless beauty, perhaps as young as early thirties or as mature as fifties, tall and graceful, her soft complexion and curves giving the impression that she had spent a stress-free life traversing the Glen and eating only what its nature bestowed. Adorning her fair skin, her lush, dark pubic hair matched the long, wavy locks that spilled off her shoulders.
Lucas turned toward Ella, drawing her close. She felt his protective hands roam over her back and his bare chest press against her breasts, a loving embrace she hadn't experienced in years. She was always shy about sex, occasionally annoyed at his almost insistence to push boundaries, but somehow now she felt no shame, no anxiety, only comfort, in the presence of this woman. The couple stood, his face bent to hers, enjoying a series of sensual, passionate, loving kisses. She smiled and giggled at his hardness, first on its own presenting itself to her stomach, then its growth encouraged by the caresses of her hand.
Spinning half way round and backing into her husband, Ella reached up behind her head to run her fingers through his hair and along his face, surprised but not startled at the sight now before her. Two more small fires crackled, and two more nude women – girls really – stood behind them. They were perhaps in their late teens, with the same smooth, fair skin as the older one, though their silky hair, both framing their lovely freckled faces and blooming between their slender thighs, shone strawberry blonde in the light of the flames. The two could have been sisters, perhaps protégées or even daughters of the elder woman.
There was no embarrassment, no attempt to cover their nakedness or cease their sensual touches. Ella relished her husband's hands roaming over her body, his stiff manhood aligned with her lower back as he caressed and lifted her breasts and pushed his fingers through her bush and between her legs. The two, properly rediscovering each other as lovers again, spun and embraced, kissed and caressed. They didn't even consider swiping and stroking each other's engorged and slickened most private parts as indecent in the presence of their hostesses. The women were not an audience, not voyeurs, but almost attendants, even facilitators.
Lucas knelt, looking up into Ella's eyes as his kisses and caresses admired and attended to her stomach, her thighs, her breasts, and to her back and buttocks as he guided her through several turns. Even though three other beautiful women were nearby, now swaying slowly in what would ordinarily be an erotic naked dance that would hold any guy's stare, his eyes were only for his wife. She knew he saw them; they weren't an apparition only to her, but he was interested only in her pleasure, her need to be adored. She was the most beautiful, the most desired.