Sunshine. A word that lives in my brain in ambiguity. A word that conjures up images of warmth and sometimes hot. A word that sends images of softness, of love, and sometimes ... pain.

The Sunshine that runs through my brain today is one of pain. Sunshine is a woman I met in the Colorado mountains on a trip I took to be alone but through unforeseen circumstances, met her and fell deeply in love.

She was on a break from her husband - something they do, she said, at times, to refresh their marriage.

Though she captured my heart, the love only flowed one way. We spent a couple of weeks together talking, laughing, and making love.

You may think it strange that I say making love but they have an open relationship and after the first day I was in love.

It all came to an end one day when it was time for her to return to her husband. It hurt, as I watched her ride away but she had left me a small token of her affection in a note she left with her email. She wrote on the paper that should I ever be lonely, she would be there for me.

After another week in the mountains, I made it home and got back into my old life of work, hanging out with the guys on occasion and just living - barely.

Sunshine never left my mind. She was always there - her beauty, her sexiness, the personality that just fit me like a glove. All that she was, consumed me. I knew there would never be a day without her in my mind, but she was married, and I had to get on with my life.

Several months after returning home, some buddies call me to say there was a party coming up in a couple of weeks and wanted me to join them. I needed some fun in my life as it seemed all I did was dwell on a past that I had no business being a part of, so I told them I would be there.

When it came time for the party, I couldn't force myself to go. I was still yearning for my Sunshine. I decided - "fuck it," I was going to get drunk and drown her memory. The thought of her was pulling me apart and I felt I needed to hide in booze. Not a great idea but at this point I no longer cared.

About two blocks from my house was a little neighborhood bar named - "Curly's Hang Time" and that's where it all started.

I had been a six-pack into the night when I saw this gorgeous woman walk in. I didn't want a woman - at least not any woman but Sunshine - but there was something about this lady that was different.

She walked in like it was her place and had every right to be there. It seemed like everyone knew her - but me.

She looked my way but I just turned my head back into my beer.

"Don't start anything," I kept telling myself. You don't need to get hurt again, but there was something ... I didn't know what it was, but something, about her that said, get to know her.

She had taken a table near the back and ordered up a drink and was checking out the room when I glanced back. As I did, our eyes met, and I smiled but returned again to my beer. I knew I couldn't stay here without getting caught up in more trouble, so I drained my beer and got up to leave.

As I stood up from my stool to leave, I turned and bumped into her standing behind me. I grabbed her to keep her from falling and pulled her in close. The smell and the softness of her blew the beer clouds away. I stood there staring at this prize of a lady when she asked if I was ever going to let her go.

My eyes blinked away my gaze and when I realized what I was doing, I started apologizing profusely. I told her that I was just leaving and I didn't see her standing next to me.

She said, "Obviously."

As I started to leave, she said that the least I could do was buy her a drink for almost knocking her over. I was really hesitant but told her, ok, and she led me to her booth. I had the bartender bring our drinks to the table, and when he left, we started talking.

She told me her name was Joan and that she doesn't usually go out as she is more of an introvert and didn't like being around a lot of people. She said today was different because her boyfriend had left her for another woman and she wanted to get drunk. I told her I was in the same brain mode and that maybe we could do it together.

She laughed and we said SALUTE! and downed our drinks.

We spent the night laughing and crying over our lives until it came time for, "LAST CALL."

We finished our drinks and headed for the door but both of us were pretty well smashed by this time. As we stood outside I could see she was in worse shape than I so I asked if I could call her a cab.

She said she didn't want a cab but what she wanted was for me to take her home with me. I was a little worried about bringing someone home that wasn't quite right and then having to face the consequences in the morning. Somehow I let her talk me into it and in reality I didn't want to leave her in this condition to be at the mercy of someone else.

We stumbled a couple of blocks to my house and after getting inside she quickly passed out. I carried her up to the spare bedroom and covered her up - clothes and all - under a blanket. I walked out of the bedroom, closed the door, and headed to my room to sleep.

The next day, I arose thinking the house had fallen on my head. I got up and went to the kitchen and started the coffee and downed a hand full of aspirin.

I was on my second cub when Joan came into the kitchen. Without saying a word I slipped her a cup of coffee and the pill container.

She nodded her thanks and took them. She asked how she got here and then a little sheepish asked if anything happened last night. I assured her that nothing happened and she didn't need to worry. I could see the relief on her face.

I topped off her coffee and as we drank, I explained what had happened and how she got there.

I soon had breakfast going and we talked more as we ate. She said she was so sorry and hoped that she didn't put me out.

I assured her it was not a problem as it happens about once a week and looked to see if she saw that I was kidding. I guess she got the joke as she was smiling.

After about an hour and a half, she got up and said she had to get home so I walked her to the door. I gave her my number and told her that if she ever needed someone to talk to, I would be there for her. I watched her walk down the street toward her car thinking that was probably the last I would see of her.

A week went by and another weekend was about here when I received a text from Joan. She said that she was thinking of me and wanted to thank me for taking care of her and if I would like, to give me a home-cooked meal.

I wrote her back and told her as long as it didn't include getting drunk, she was on.

She gave me her address and said if I could make it to her house by 6 on Saturday, she would have dinner ready.

I texted her back and told her it was a date.

Saturday came and I picked up some flowers and a bottle of wine and drove to her house.

I was having conflicting feelings like I was somehow cheating but I knew I had to find a release and get on with my life. I didn't want to die on a dead-end road so I put a smile on my face and continued to drive.

Joan met me at the door dressed in a full-length dress and with light makeup. She was absolutely beautiful.

To me it's always about personality and Joan had it all. She was beautiful, personable, and exciting.

I handed her the flowers and wine and got the biggest smile and to my enjoyment, a kiss on my cheek.

She led me into her home and sat me on the couch facing the fireplace and said she would be right back.

I looked around and saw that she looked to have a pretty good life. A nice house and a nice car. On the fireplace were what looked like family pictures. She struck me as someone that was able to take care of herself - a self-sufficient woman.

She brought me a glass of wine and sat with me.

We talk about our lives but mostly our recent lives. She said she had been going out with this guy for two years and then just last week, out of nowhere, he dropped her. I could see her eyes tearing up, so I laid my hand on hers and changed the subject.

I asked about the pictures on the mantel and she said they were family pictures but they all lived on the other side of the country. She was the oldest of three - the other two being brothers.

After a while, she said dinner was ready, so we retired to the dining room and sat down at the table.

She refilled my glass, then poured more for herself.

I got up and asked if I could help and she asked me to bring in the plates of food while she got the napkins and water glasses out.

With everything on the table, we sat and raised our glasses for a toast.

"Here's to the past just where it belongs. Here's to the future, may it always be strong."

"Salute!!"

We talked through dinner and I was beginning to really like her. Her life seemed to be a pretty decent life - at least up till last week. I found out we shared a lot of common interests. We both shared an eclectic taste in music which I thought was amazing as so many people go for just one or two types where we love all BUT one or two types.

After dinner, I helped clean up the table and put things away, and then went back on the couch.

She asked about Sunshine. She said Sunshine sounded like a very sweet person and I told her she was an amazing lady. Much like herself, she is beautiful, smart, sexy, and carries a personality that was out of this world.

She dropped her head feeling a bit embarrassed by my compliment and I told her, "Don't do that." You are all I've said and then some and you should be proud of who you are.

I took her hands in mine and told her any man in his right mind would love an amazing lady like you.

I told her to not let one bad relationship ruin her life but to let it be a lesson in life. Accept what was and then move on.

She said thank you and squeezed my hands.

We continued to talk late into the night when I decided it was time to go.

At the door, she took my hands in hers and looked up into my eyes. She just stood there staring for a moment and then pulled me in close for a kiss.

It was soft and tender and lingered for what seemed like forever. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her back but then pulled away and told, her that maybe I should go.

She looked at me and said I would like you to stay. I have been so lonely and messed up since my boyfriend left that I need to feel wanted. I would like that to be you.

As my answer, I pulled her in close and kissed her again. This time more deeply. My tongue slid into her mouth and touched her tongue and we played. Our tongues fighting a battle of passion - of need - of want.

When we broke the kiss, she took my hand and led me to her bedroom.

In the bedroom, we kissed some more and then her hands reached up to grab my head and pull it down to her cleavage where I kissed and caressed her breasts. As we kissed, she removed my shirt and threw it to a chair next to the bed and started on my pants, and took them off.

My cock was standing proud in my drawers.

I started to remove her dress, all the time kissing her. When her dress hit the floor my mouth flew wide open. She had nothing under her dress and I just stood there entranced.

She was more than I could ever have thought possible.

Her 36 C breasts stood straight out with large areolas and delectable 3/4 inch nipples that begging to be sucked. My mouth covered her nipple on one side while my fingers pinched and twisted the other. Her moans were coming on strong. She grabbed my head and pulled it in tight.

My hand found her naked pussy and a finger slid down and found her wetness. I slid my fingers between her slit rubbing up and down. Her clit stood out from its hiding place as my fingers caressed it. As I caressed her pussy her moans came from deeper in her body - almost in a growl.

Her arms surrounded my neck and she pulled me in for a deep, needy kiss.

My fingers found their goal and slid into her cunt hole - first one, then a second. Her moans were getting louder and she grabbed me tighter as her body tensed and she came. Her body was trembling as she fucked my hand wanting more. Her legs clamped shut around my hand. Her breath came in short bursts. Finally, she started to calm.

When she came down I lowered her to the bed on her back.

I slid my hands under her legs and raised them as my mouth found her pussy. Her pussy, with its just cum taste, was like the best elixir ever made. I licked her pussy and then sucked her clit. Sucking and licking getting her motor running full speed again.

I slid two fingers back into her cunt as I sucked her clit. And then my tongue flicked it - hard. The more I sucked and the harder I flicked, the more she moaned. My fingers shot straight up to her G spot and I wiggled them in a cum to me motion. She started bouncing on my fingers - fucking herself. Then she came again and started spraying her cunt juice, soaking my face and hand. I tried to catch as much as I could but it was too much and she soaked the bed beneath us.

When she finished she removed my briefs and had me straddle her breasts. She wrapped her hands around my cock and her mouth over my hard shaft.

Slowly, she slid her mouth over my cock to take it all in. Inch by inch she devoured the whole fat 7 inches. She was grabbing my ass and pulling me in closer so she could get my whole cock down her throat. She pulled off, took a breath, and then back again till her chin hit my balls.

I was so ready after eating her pussy that it didn't take long before my cock swelled up and my balls tightened and I let loose large ropes of cum - one after another. It seemed to never end and my cum came sliding out of her mouth.

When I had finished, she climbed up and kissed me. Her kisses were deep and cum filled and I couldn't get enough.

She was soft, she was beautiful and she almost made me forget - almost.

She saw the look on my face but I just placed her head on my chest and kissed her forehead. I held her close and told her she was amazing - and it was true.

We lay there, holding each other, for maybe thirty minutes or so when she stirred. Her lips kissed my chest and her hand went straight for my cock. Her hand felt so good and so inviting that it didn't take long for me to get rock-hard again.

She stroked me as the soft skin of her breasts caressed my skin and I could feel the need coming back.

I looked her in her eyes and told her she was wonderful and I wanted more. She said she was mine and that she was missing the affection from someone so kind and gentle. She told me to take anything I wanted.

I lay her on her back and then kissed her softly as I rubbed her breasts.

Her nipples became hard and I could tell she was craving my mouth. I started sucking her nipples and caressing her breasts with one hand. Again, her moans came. My free hand found her pussy and rubbed her clit which caused her to raise up into my hand.

She stopped me and said, "No, I want your cock. I want to feel the fullness of you deep in my cunt. Please, please fuck me. Make me feel wanted."

As I got on top, she raised her legs to give me full access. She was so wet that it didn't take much to push in. And in I went, deep. All of me, fucking her cunt with total uninhibited passion and needy lust. I pounded her cunt over and over as deep as I could drive my cock.

She threw her arms around my neck and pulled me in tight, begging me to fuck her harder and faster. I gave her all I had as my sweat fell from me like a waterfall. On and on we went, fucking and swearing and begging for more.

She was saying, "Fuuu-- Ohhhhh My Goood, I'm cumming. I'M CUMMMMMING!" And with that, I came with her, pumping her to overflowing with my hot cum.

We fell asleep in each other's arms, totally satisfied. All our love-making residue of sticky cum and sweat covering our body just made the night even better.

The next morning I woke to find her gone from the bed. I got up and went to the bathroom where I found a clean towel and showered.

As I was drying myself I could smell breakfast cooking so I quickly dressed and went to meet her in the kitchen. She was all smiles when I walked in. She walked over to me and kissed me full on the lips and told me thank you. She said I had made her feel so wanted and happy and that she would never forget our wonderful night together.

We enjoy a delicious breakfast together with great food and conversation but as always the time came to leave. I asked if I could see her again and she said of course- she would love it.

I drove home almost in a daze thinking about what had happened.

She was amazing but would she be enough to make me forget?

When I got home, I checked my computer for messages. There was one that caught my eye.

It was from Sunshine, and she said she was coming out to my area on business and wanted to know if she could see me.

I think I'll have to think on this.