The hair on the back of my neck stood up before I turned the key,

sensing something was amiss in my world.

I paused briefly and ran through a list of possibilities.

There was only one answer.

Soundlessly, I ascended the stairs to the bedroom.

I could have been a marching band; they would not have noticed.

She screamed, “Fuck me harder, I’m gonna cum!”

He replied, “Yes, yes!”

Waiting a beat till I knew he was ready to explode,

I stormed into the room,

“Neither of you is going to cum.

Now, get the fuck outta my house.”