Is there anything more frustrating? Phone in hand or on speaker. The mind-numbing music. Sometimes they tell you where you are in the queue, sometimes it’s one of life’s mysteries. Never even knowing if you’ll get a satisfactory resolution from an answered call.

That frisson when you hear a voice, but only the same recorded message, over and over…

“Thank you for your patience. Your orgasm is important to us. Your climax is approaching. You are fifth in the queue for ultimate relief. Please continue to edge…”

You wait.