I introduced my date to Mr. Penis, my best friend and confidant.

The conversation went well until she introduced Mr. Penis to her friend Puss in boots.

I had never seen Mr. Penis react in that way before; he started to shake and twitch and his nose started to run, it wasn’t a pretty sight.

I handed him a handkerchief, but he caught me and puss in boots unaware when he threw up all over her.

Of course, I apologised profusely on his behalf, but it’s the first and last time I’ll be double dating for a while.