"We'd like you to speak to someone. Someone professional, a therapist who can help you with the sinful desires you've been having, Sister Emilia," said the Mother Superior.

"Ma'am?" I asked. I hadn't confessed to anything of the sort. She produced a paper from her habit and read,

"Watersports, Anal, BDSM and Incest Fantasy...clearly, you are a very disturbed young woman, sister, if these are the thoughts you keep alone in your cell at night."

Too late, I realised I had left the list of Lush story genres I still had not written on my bed.

"Yes...and no, ma'am!"