"Next pose," the photographer said.
I laid down on the lounge chair by the pool with my legs folded over each other and leaning forward, dropping my heavy hangers down for him to take a few pictures of me. Then I switched again following the routine of the three other women that had come before me.
Eventually, I got into the pool and came out slowly. Each picture was taken over and over again. After I finished one set, I would start over with another photographer. A video was taken, then stills, then an interview afterward. At first, I thought this was going to be a quick day, go down to the pool and take a few photo's then come right back up.
I was wrong in every essence of the word. It had taken over six hours. By the time we were done, I felt exhausted. The three other women were with two different companies, each of them was big or in the term Big and Beautiful. One of them mentioned that they would be doing a porn shoot later that afternoon.
I had asked a few questions about it as my interest in doing it had peeked. I wanted to be fucked and fucked hard. Preferably by more than one male, it didn't matter the color as long as they had big fucking dicks that they knew how to use.
After waking up at six in the morning and getting back to my hotel just after two in the afternoon, I had no interest in getting changed and going anywhere. Who knew taking photos could be physically exhausting.
And to think most of the guys that looked at the pictures would think, oh, they just stood there and had someone take a picture. No! Fuck no! That picture was made more than once, more than twice, maybe even six times until they were happy, then the next picture after that, and after that, the next time I signed up for a photoshoot I was going to eat first. I was starving.
It wasn't dreadful, the flight, as well as all the food, was reimbursed, plus I got paid a ridiculous amount for the shoot itself. When they told me how much I was going to make per day, then how much I would get for each time the photos or videos were downloaded, I almost came twice over the phone.
All it boiled down to was stupid, horny men. There was tons of stuff for free online, but yet looking at the pictures, I had uploaded a few weeks back as I waited for room service, told me that they were a lot of men or women out there with money to spend on anything.
The view from my hotel room's balcony was gorgeous. It overlooked the beach. People were riding their bikes down the sidewalk, others taking a stroll along the beach. Couples were making out under the large beach umbrellas.
Here I was in my hotel room, single, horny, and fucking hungry. "Where the fuck is my food!" I said as I turned to walk back into my room. As I picked up the phone, there was a knock on the door.
"Shrimp Fettucini with garlic bread and white wine?" the young man said as he opened the door.
"Cheesecake?" I asked as I looked at the cart.
"Two slices," the young man said as he lifted a plastic cover off a large plate of two large slices of cheesecake.
"Thank you," I nodded.
"Is there anything else?"
"Did they get my pre-order for dinner?"
The young man dug into his pocket. "Large order of steak fries, a Texas bacon cheeseburger, and more cheesecake?"
The cheesecake here was unbelievably good. I never had anything like it. I ordered the first day I got here and had requested it every day since.
"I probably should have ordered that for lunch and this for dinner," I said, looking down at the cart. The young guy looked petrified that I was going to tell him to take it back.
"I am joking," I smiled at him.
"Oh, okay," he laughed.
I told him to bill it to the room as well, but I paid the tip with cash. I couldn't believe they were going to reimburse me for everything, including tips. All I had to do was snap a picture of the receipt and send it to them.
Lunch hit the spot, and I felt full, the good thing about starting so early was that I had the rest of the day to myself. One of the girls sent a text to me saying they were downstairs at our usual place.
I got dressed and went to meet them. The women sat in a large tent-like structure by the side of the pool.
"Look who finally decided to come out of her room," Desirae said. She was the ring leader or the spoke person of the group, also the largest.
Desirae liked to characterize her body as SSBBW or supersized beautiful woman. I would of just put it as fucking huge! I didn't try and make myself better than what I was; I am a big woman, I love to eat, resulting in a fat stomach, thick legs, thick thighs, and a huge butt. I always had big boobs even when I was smaller, way before I had children.
Patricia was the quiet one. She just nodded her head like a blonde barbie doll, if barbie had HH boobs and an ass.
Then there was Madeline, the one that did porn as well as photoshoots. She was in the middle of all of us. She was more curvy than fat, all of her body parts matched. Boobs weren't too big; thighs weren't too thick, she was just curvy all around.
"Yeah, I had to eat something I was starving," I said, sitting down.
"I think Gary has the hots for you," Madeline said as she looked at me.
Gary was the lead for our group. He sent a text of what time to meet and what time we were leaving back to the room.
On the first day of the photoshoot, when we were at the beach, one of the photographers wanted us to stay longer. Gary had none of it. He told them if we stayed longer, their companies would have to pay the time.
"Nah," I shook my head. "He is happily married, he just likes to flirt," I said as I looked over at the pool. A family had just gotten into the pool. They were laughing and having a good time.
I missed that part of my life, having a family, I knew I had ruined it for myself, but I still longed for it. Timothy had kept to his promise I got a text or a call from one of the kids every day.
"So, it's not like marriage is sacred anymore," Desirae said. "How many of your followers are married with kids, but yet they send gifts to you?"
All of us nodded. For me, there were at least fourteen that got on my cam shows regularly that were married. Two of them sent me gifts weekly.
One of them sent me fourteen new bra's because I mentioned that one of my bras broke. All he wanted in return was for me to post a picture of me wearing them. It took a few weeks for me to finish sending him all of the photos, but he was a happy man.
Most of them had the sad sob story that their wife wasn't giving them attention, or not sleeping with them, or they had put on weight and were no longer sexy. When I mentioned that their wives either had someone else or was watching one of the male cam shows, every single one of them got upset or angry that their wives would do such a thing.
And there was the usual double standard, it was okay for them to gawk and send gifts to a woman that wasn't their wife, but she had to stay loyal to them.
It was the same in the erotic stories I read, all of the men could read about a married man cheating on his boring, unsexy wife, and they would flood the comments about how hot it was, or they couldn't wait to read more.
If the wife cheated on her husband, they again flooded the comments that she was a whore, a slut, and hoped the husband killed them both or that she got a disease. Then they had the nerve to say there was no double standard.
"Do you guys still get the bra size question?" Patricia asked.
"Not as much since I put it in my name," I said. "Most of them can figure it out."
"That is wise," Desirae said. "I guess I can change my name to do that."
Desirae was the only one that had kept her legal name as her online persona. So it would be easy to make her name DesiraEE.
"Hope you don't mind?" Desirae asked me.
"It's not like I am the first to do it or have a copyright to the idea," I shrugged.
"Well, I have to get going," Madeline said. "Have to go prepare."
"What is it today?" Patricia asked.
"Another," Madeline smiled as she put on a surprise face. "My husband isn't home, and you're his best friend, we can't do that," she said as she shook her head. "It's the number one selling video for my company, so all of us are doing it."
"Well, have fun," Desirae said.
"Yes, according to some of my ex-followers, all I do is lie on my back and get fucked, no skill towards it," Madeline nodded.
"Surprised you don't yawn all the way through," Patricia said.
"Or call it quits after the second redo," Madeline said.
"Redo?" I asked.
"You don't think they last for fifteen to twenty minutes, do you?" Madeline asked. "There are only very few, and in the three years I have been doing it, only twice has it happened."
"So they stop?" I asked.
Madeline nodded. "More like pause, he shoots I go to my chamber while some cute fluffer gets him all hard again, we get into the exact position where it got paused and continue."
"You can sometimes tell, especially if there is a change in position," Patricia said.
"You've done it?" I asked.
"Yes, before I got married," Patricia nodded.
Desirae nodded as well. "Key thing in this lifestyle, hide the ring," she said as she held out her hand, there was no ring. Then she lifted her foot around her ankle; there was a ring attached to a gold chain. "I always hide it. You will lose almost all your followers if they know you are attached."
I looked at the other two. Even Madeline had a ring around her wrist, which she could easily hide with her other hand.
"And your husbands?" I asked.
"Photographer," Madeline said.
"Agent," Desirae said.
"He no longer works in the industry, but he was one of the men I slept with, while I was still doing it," Patricia said.
"Trust us. You won't find someone willing to be with you, that isn't in the business. They won't understand, or accept your lifestyle for long,"
Madeline said. "They will say they do, and for a while, nothing happens, then they see a photo and read the comments and see your reply and of the handle they go."
"Or see a scene, and you sounded a little more excited than the last time," Patricia said.
"Or my favorite, they volunteer to come to a party with all your co-workers and see a male model and the two of you hug or embrace for too long, and your partner is convinced that you are fucking them and everyone else at the party," Desirae smiled.
I had never thought about that, sure I had thought eventually I would like to get back into a stable relationship, but never thought about with who or when. Now I had doubts that I even wanted to try.
Madeline left the group. After a while, we slowly went to our rooms. I knew I wanted to get into porn. The new me wanted and loved sex in all it's forms, but after they said I wouldn't be able to form lasting relationships, it had caused me to have some doubts.
I wanted and longed to belong to someone and have that someone trust me. What I did to Timothy was in the past, I knew that I wouldn't do it again. I had no desire to hurt someone and see the look on their faces the way Timothy looked at me after I told him.
I liked the person I had become. I liked taking photos. I loved the comments and attention. To give that up to meet someone that wasn't in the business. "Maybe it was just them, maybe they had bad luck," I thought to myself.
I got up from the couch and messaged a few of the other women I knew online. One by one, they said the same thing. One of them even showed her old profile under another name. It had zero followers. Same pictures, same content as her new profile only one difference her old account had shown a photo of her hanging out with her new boyfriend. It had hashtags like #taken, #inlove #nolongersingle.
She said within the first night she posted it, she dropped over a thousand followers.
Then she made the mistake of going live one night they were out on the town, and they kissed. Instantly the rest dropped like flies. When she made the new account, she faked cried that he had broken up with her, that she made the new account to get away from him. They hadn't broken up, they were getting married soon, but none of her followers knew, again I had to laugh at the irony.
Here they were married or with someone and following and fantasizing about being with another woman, but didn't want her to be with anyone.
I was going to be different, I knew what it was like to be broke and desperate, and if I had to go back to being that way, then so be it. I wouldn't hide the fact that I was with someone, just to please them.