"Would you like to jerk off first?"

I gawk at him. "What kind of a fucked up question is that?"

My wife and I have four children. And we decided that’s enough. We decided that after the second one, actually, but, well, shit happens, I guess. After the third one, we agreed I’d get a vasectomy. That is, she agreed. But if you’re married, you know that 'she agrees' means 'we agree'.

Naturally, being a man, and quite attached to my balls and their wellbeing, I put it off for as long as I could, which, wouldn’t you know, was too long. So, now we have four children. And I’m getting a vasectomy.

That’s why I’m here, in a hospital bed, wearing nothing but a patient gown. And that’s apparently why this kid is here with a razor.

"I need to give you a shave before the surgery," he said. "Would you like to jerk off first?"

I’m not a doctor, and I have no idea how these things typically go down. I just skimmed through the letter I got, and even stayed far away from reading about it online. Guess I didn’t want to stumble upon the worst cases; guys bleeding out on the operating table or never getting it up again or speaking in falsetto for the rest of their lives, and other quite plausible and probable things like that. No, I'm not a doctor, but seriously, what kind of a fucked up question is that?

"Why the fuck would I do that?"

He shrugs.

"It’s just that quite a few guys get hard when I do this. It might save you the embarrassment, that’s all. Plus, they can’t do the surgery if you’re loaded. Weren’t you advised to jerk off before you came here?"

No, I wasn’t advised to do that. Must've been in the letter I didn't read.

"I don’t mind. I’ll turn away, and you can do it in that sink over there."

Is this guy for real? How’s that going to save me from embarrassment?

"I think I’m good, thanks. I’m not going to get hard. You’re a dude, I’ll consider myself lucky if it doesn’t shrink away and disappear, never to be seen again."

"Yeah, that’s what they all say."

Fuck you, kid. What are you, twenty? Twenty-one? I'm sure you walk around with a hard-on day and night, but it takes a little more work and determination at my age, believe it or not.

Maybe if you were an actual nurse. As in, a girl. Titties and all. Yup, I wouldn't argue with you then, I'll tell you that much.

"Just get it over with."

He pulled the cover off me and folded it by my feet. Then he pulled the gown to the side, and I’m fully exposed, as bare as a bone.

No pun intended.

"Just let it hang off the edge," he says as he grabs my ankle, pulls my right leg off the bed, and sits on the mattress.

He puts the stuff he’s brought with him; the razor, a small bowl of water, and a tube of something beside him. Then he pulls a pair of blue latex gloves out of his pocket and puts them on before he squeezes some of whatever is in the tube in his hand and starts rubbing it on my balls.

It’s not shaving cream or gel. It looks, and feels, more like lube. The kind I use on the rare occasions when my wife lets me do her up the ass.

And it’s the thought of fucking my wife in the ass that caused that slight twitch in my cock just now, I swear. Nothing to do with what this kid is doing.

Anyway, it was just a slight twitch. No way he noticed.

He grabed the razor and winked at me. "I’m going in."

"Good luck," I say.

What the hell? ‘Good luck’? Where did that come from? If there’s such a thing as a mental facepalm, I’m doing it right now. I decide to just lie back and stare at the ceiling, or close my eyes.

No, not going to close my eyes. It’ll look like I'm enjoying this. Just find a happy place, or something. Something to think about that has nothing to do with my wife’s ass, or nurses with titties. Nurses with big titties, shaving my balls.

He grabs my cock and lifts it out of the way, holding it in a tight grip. If he just held it still, this wouldn’t be a problem, but he keeps moving it around. It’s like a slow-mo version of when my wife gets a bit too creative; he’s pulling it to one side, then to the other, pushing it up, yanking it down, all to get to every last strand of hair.

He’s thorough, I’ll give him that.

Is he humming?
He’s fucking humming.

I look down at him. "Do you have to do that?"

And does he have to have his face that close to my cock? Is he nearsighted? I can practically feel his breath on my balls.

Another twitch. While he’s holding it. No way he didn’t notice that.

"Do what?"

I’m getting hard. I can’t help it. Not even a semi yet, nothing to write home about, but if this kid doesn’t wrap things up soon…

"Nothing," I say. "Are you done?"

"Soon," he says. "It’s kinda important that I get it all. Are you sure you don’t want to jerk off?"

He slides his hand down my cock, pulling the foreskin down, and grips hard at the base, holding it as if he’s showing it to me. It’s suddenly more than just semi-hard.

"No," I say, but to my horror it comes out as a moaning, "Hnnoh…"

"Suit yourself," he says. "But if you don’t calm down, you’re gonna have to do it when I’m done anyway. You’ll have to get the sperm out of your tubes."

"I’m good. Wrap it up, will you?"

He goes back to work, this time pushing my cock against my stomach with his thumb just below the head so he can shave the underside of the shaft.

My wife knows that trick, too. She grabs it and puts her thumb there on that exact same spot, where that little string splits the head, and then she rubs it. She even spits on it first, so it’s not too dry, and it feels amazing.

This kid didn’t spit on it, but with all that lube, he didn’t have to. As he's rubbing it, stroking it in tiny circles, it feels almost as good.

Wait. He’s rubbing it?

I look down at him again, and he’s not only rubbing it, he’s put the razor down, and while his left hand is gripping around the head, rubbing the underside of it with his thumb, his right hand is grasping the shaft, slowly moving up and down.

"Want me to do it for you?" he says.

"Oh, for crying out loud, no, I don’t want you to do it for me."

I push his hands away, grab it myself, and start to jerk myself off. Fuck it, why not? Doctor’s orders, right?

But he won’t let it be completely. He cups my balls in one hand and massages them as he watches me, and I let him.

I won’t last long, and I'm not going to try to. I want to finish this as soon as possible, so I speed up, and when he carefully squeezes my balls, I come. A split second before, as if he can tell, he throws himself forward and puts his mouth on the tip of my cock. The first squirt goes on his lips, but then he takes the head in his mouth, and I empty the rest of my load down his throat.

"Fhuu-huchkk!"

I fall back, panting, but the kid still has my cock in his mouth. His head bobs as he keeps sucking me off.

"Stop, I'm done," I wheeze, but he keeps going, and I can feel myself getting hard again. Without letting go of my cock, he pulls his zipper down and drags his own cock out of his pants. It's as big and hard as mine, and he starts pulling and tugging at it in step with his mouth going up and down my cock.

I'm close to coming again when he stops and looks at me.

"Can I fuck you?" he says.

I shake my head vigorously. Hell no, a man's gotta draw the line somewhere.

"Will you at least suck me off then? It's only fair."

I guess he has a point, so I nod. He gets off the bed and walks up to me, holding his cock just inches from my face. I open my mouth, but I hesitate, so he grabs the back of my head and shoves his cock in my mouth.

I'm lying there as he jerks me off and fucks my mouth, just the head of his cock going in and out, but when he comes, he shoves it all the way in and I feel his jizz run down my throat as I come in his hand.

-

"Oh, I see you came prepared," the surgeon says, and puts the razor back down on the table. "Guess I won't be needing this after all."

"Doesn't it have to be like that?" I say.

He chuckles. "No, no. I usually just shave a tiny patch here."

I look at him with a sneaking suspicion.

"What about having to jerk... I mean, masturbate first?"

"What??"

"You know, so I'm not... loaded. With sperm in my tubes."

"That's... that's not an issue, sir. That's not necessary."

"Oh. I see."