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A Full English

Andrea was going to be late for work today...

"Oooh, stockings and suspenders. Who's the lucky guy?"

Irritation surged through my veins as I tried ridding myself of Dan's hand from beneath my skirt. I love my husband, but he does choose his moments. It was all right for him; he didn't have to go to work today. I did and I was running late. 

“Dan, don’t… I haven't got the time." 

Hearing the tone of my voice, he gave me the puppy dog eyes treatment and, for a split second, I felt my resolve melting.

"Oh no you don't, you lecherous bastard. You had all morning to take advantage of this." I gestured to my body, smartly dressed for work. "If you had joined me in the shower, we could have had lots of fun together... But, oh no, Mr 'I'm free today’ was too busy watching porn on his telephone and now he wants to get dirty with me?" 

His broad smile widened. 

I gave him a sadistic grin. "Well, no way, shithead. Your old lady has to get her ass in gear, otherwise she'll be looking for another job." 

Seeing his feigned disappointment made me feel victorious, although it was a hollow victory. From the moment my eyes opened this morning, I'd felt horny and wanted nothing more than to jump his bones. 


My frustration had started when the alarm burst into life beside my ear. Instead of switching it off and getting up like I should have done, I pressed the snooze button and spooned up to my man for a cuddle. Although he should have been asleep, the alarm had also woken him out of his slumber and a lethargic "good morning" rumbled through the bedroom.

"Morning darling," I responded, kissing the back of his neck and wrapping my arms around him. Drowsy he might have been, but that didn't stop him taking my hand and placing it on his manhood. As usual, he was sporting morning wood, but as I squeezed and tugged, it thickened. He grunted his approval and, as I expected and hoped, a firm hand moved between our entwined bodies to explore my soft apex. 

His fingers pressed into my receptive flesh, the unrelenting pressure sending delicious, sweet sensations coursing through me. A moist heat developed between my thighs and I moaned softly, pressing my lips to his shoulder. 

Under my expert touch, Dan's prick hardened nicely. I was enjoying myself and wishing I didn't have to get up when the damned alarm resumed its morning chorus. Casting a malevolent glance at the offending object, I reluctantly abandoned my hopes and twisted over to turn the bloody thing off.

"Fucking prick teaser," Dan grumbled. "I should have known you wouldn't stay in bed."

“Sorry, darling, but I've got an important meeting today and I still need to get up to speed with the situation." 

"What about my situation here," he shot back, trying to guilt trip me. It almost worked, but common sense got a grip and with increasing resentment, I swung my long legs out from beneath the quilt. 

"You can always join me in the shower," I offered and struck a sexy pose for him. 

"Nah, think I'll stay here," he mumbled and turned over. As I left him alone in bed, I saw him reach for his smartphone. 

Moments later in the shower, hot, soapy water cascaded over my body, washing away the last remnants of sleep. Damn. If only I hadn't used the snooze button, I might have been able to...

Grabbing a towel to dry myself, I grumbled because my daily ritual had started without me relieving the itch between my legs. Dressing, I heard Dan moving about, and then the staircase creaked. I smiled. Instead of lying in, hubby was downstairs making breakfast. That would save me some time. 

After applying makeup, I went to join him. However, entering the kitchen, I almost turned around and went back upstairs. 

"He's doing this on fucking purpose," I muttered.

"Sorry, darling, did you say something?" he asked, looking at me with childlike innocence.

Dan was sitting at the breakfast bar, drinking his coffee and reading the paper. Nothing unusual in that, I hear you say, but instead of wearing something casual like a T-shirt and jeans, he was in his bathrobe... only his bathrobe. A roguish smile and bright eyes stared back at me. 

We both knew that only the bathrobe was protecting his modesty. Beneath the soft towelling, he was naked — and my imagination ran riot. Because I've told him like only a million times, Dan knows that he is the sexiest man alive. 

What, I hear you ask, even sexier than Homer Simpson, Mr Bean, or Popeye? Well, the answer is yes. I know, difficult to believe and it's only my opinion, but there you have it. Do with it what you will. 

Anyway, the robe was barely fastened and a lot of flesh was on show. Worse still, he was acting all nonchalant. The shit!

Although he’d poured me a cup of the delicious-smelling brown liquid, he'd strategically placed it on the other end of the breakfast bar, next to warm croissants he'd zapped in the microwave. So, in order to eat breakfast, I had to walk past him. 

Pretending not to notice his deliberate provocation, I made my way across the kitchen, my heels clicking like snapped branches, on the tiled floor. As I picked up the steaming beverage, his hand disappeared beneath my skirt.


Despite my objections, Dan still hadn't removed his hand. In fact, instead of obeying my wishes, he slid it beneath one of my suspenders, squeezing my buttock hard, for good measure. This time I twisted my body away from him. 

With a rueful grin, he finally withdrew his hand. Assuming he'd finished playing games, I relaxed. That was a mistake. With rattlesnake reactions, he grabbed my hand and pulled it towards the opening in his bathrobe.

"Can you feel how much I want you?" 

I could. His flesh was warm and pliable in my hand.

"Don't care," I lied. 

Funny thing lies. Mum always preached, "Tell no lies because they'll always come back to bite you in the bum." How right she was. My fingers curled around the thick girth, the heat exciting me. 

"So, you don't want this?" He grinned. 


With my free hand, I placed the coffee cup to my beautifully made up lips and sipped the warm liquid. With an indifference I didn't feel, I gazed out of the kitchen window, but couldn't ignore what was happening in my other hand. 

"Anything interesting in the paper, this morning?" We both heard the tremor in my voice. 

"Nothing much," he replied, his hands caressing my stockinged thighs."Just a story of how a man sought solace with a beautiful neighbour after being rejected by his bossy wife." 

"Boring," I replied, although I knew he was infatuated with a new resident in our little cul-de-sac. A very attractive, redheaded divorcee. 

"No, it's quite compelling," he quipped. "Turns out the young woman wasn't as career-obsessed as his wife; she had more important things on her mind." 

"Really?" My temperature was rising.

"Yes, it turns out the poor, depraved woman hadn't had sex for almost a year and knew when not to look a gift horse in the mouth." 

Now I had trouble keeping a straight face. His hands were travelling higher with each upward stroke and, although I pretended not to notice, I knew my skirt was being pushed up my thighs. Mind you, I wasn't the only one getting turned on. Within his bathrobe, his prick was standing to attention. 

"Some horse," I snorted.

As soon as my feigned insult was out there, strong fingers brushed against my gusset, pressing the soft fabric between my labia. I gasped. Without consciously thinking about it, I gripped hubby's prick tighter and started masturbating him.

"Hmmm, according to the newspaper, he's a proverbial stallion. Maybe the neighbour likes 'em big?" 

"Yeah, well that's not gonna happen, darling," I said, giving his cock a mean twist to reinforce my words. His bottom lip protruded dejectedly. "You're mine and don't you forget it." I pressed my fingernails into his warm flesh to make my point. He winced and I smiled victoriously. 

“So, why can't we knock a quick one out?" he whined. 

I sighed. It was like talking to a petulant child. "Darling, if we fuck now, you'll cum inside me and for the rest of the day, I'll have spunk dripping into my knickers." 

His face lit up with enthusiasm. 


"Bu... Bu..." he stammered, obviously trying to think of something, anything, that would change my mind. "I know… what if I pull out and cum over your bum?” Hope sparkled in his eyes. 

I shook my head. "I haven't got the time… and I don't want to."

"That's not what your body is telling me," he countered, his hand pressing harder against my sex. He wasn't wrong. In the few meagre seconds we'd been trading barbs, my expensive underwear felt more like a cheap dishcloth: crumpled and soggy. His hands slipped beneath the saturated fabric. 

I bit my lip as one hand found my clit while the other explored my tight anus. Despite my objections, my juices were flowing like the Amazon... in the rainy season. The last thing I wanted was for him to stop.

"You're a fucking little shit," I panted, my anger losing to my arousal. "You always do this to me when I'm in a rush. You get me all hot and bothered, knowing full well I haven't got the time to play silly games with you." 

He looked aghast at my outburst but I wasn't finished. My rant was developing into something spectacular. "It's easy for you, you bastard. When I leave, you can go and bash your fucking bishop to get rid of your frustrations. But, unless I get a chance to have a quick frig in the loos, I've got to get through the whole bloody day wishing I'd fucked the living, fucking, daylights out of your stupid moronic body.” 

I was panting harder now and spittle rested on my lips. On the whole, I was pleased with my performance. Dan, on the other hand, just sat there and smirked. As if that wasn't bad enough, he hadn't stopped tormenting me during my diatribe. On the contrary, my outburst seemed to encourage him because his hands between my legs were really getting to me. 

Although I could have killed him there and then, the rock-hard cock in my hand and the obscene squelching between my thighs, conspired against me. Our gazes met but Dan's was attracted to the sight of my nipples jutting proudly in my blouse. Desperately trying not to lose control, I bit my lip and turned to look out of the kitchen window. It was no use, my resistance was crumbling and Dan closed in for the kill. 

He stood up, his bathrobe fell open, and he kissed me. Not the perfunctory, 'I love you, see you tonight' kiss... Oh no, this was a make my heart race, take my breath away, oh my god you look so gorgeous, I want to fuck you, kiss. 

The scent of arousal briefly tantalized my nose when he entwined a hand in my hair, pulling my mouth to his, in what he considered the height of passion. He's not the most romantic of men, but it'll do me. 

His erection, hard and ready, pressed against my underbelly while his free hand grabbed my buttocks. His fingers pressed into my anal crevice and he started grinding into me, rotating his hips sensually, as he planted soft little kisses in the crook of my neck. That's when my base desires overruled my common sense. 

"Come on, you bastard, make it quick and make me cum," I breathed huskily into his ear. 

"How do you want it?" 

"Hard and fast," I replied, reaching behind my back to unzip my skirt. 

“Yes, M’Lady," he said in a pitch-perfect imitation of Parker from Thunderbirds. I took a step backwards and raised my arms. He was watching with interest. Then I wiggled my hips. It took a moment, but sure enough, my skirt obeyed the laws of gravity and slithered to my ankles. 

"Mmm, I approve," Dan said looking at my thighs encased in silk stockings. "And I do like those knickers," he added as if trying to convince me I'd made the right decision. "Always have done."

"That's what your boss says," I teased, running my hands over my breasts.

Then I leant forward to kiss him. Knowing what I like, he pulled open his bathrobe and exposed his manliness to me. I feasted my eyes.

Hubby regularly works out and his body is a joy to behold. He's not pumped up like a fanatical bodybuilder. In fact, when he's dressed, you probably wouldn't notice his physique, but when he takes off his clothes, it's all muscle, and it's all mine. When we're naked, I can’t keep my hands off him. 

"Looking good, Babe.” And I meant it. 

"I know,” he replied cockily. "That's what Shannon said last week." Shannon is my homegirl and I had to laugh. Tit for tat, it's what we're good at.

"And did she do this to you?" 

I sank to my knees. With thumb and forefinger clasped tightly around his girth, just below his sensitive rim, I ran my tongue up the underside of his throbbing erection. 

"Y... yes, sh... she did," he replied, his stutter getting more pronounced as it always did when he was lying. 

"Did you enjoy her tongue piercing?" I took his throbbing helmet between my succulent lips. 

"Uh huh." 

I grinned. Dan is many things — hard worker, loyal friend, a charming show-off, and also a huge pain in the ass sometimes. But, without any doubt, I know he'd never be unfaithful. He loves me too much and, as for Shannon, she’d sooner die than betray our lifelong friendship. Mind you, that doesn't stop Dan fantasizing. 

I stayed on my knees for a few seconds longer, hungrily lubricating his cock with my saliva but I wanted and needed something more than a quick blowjob to relieve my itch. As I stood, I turned and leant over the worktop. 

"Hurry up, Dan," I said huskily, spreading my feet and reaching back to pull the thin sliver of cloth from between my buttocks. Holding my breath, I waited, and sure enough, Dan's prick nudged against my gaping pussy. 

Hissing, I felt my nether lips close around his shaft as his engorged helmet steadily pushed into me.

"God, you're so beautiful," he gasped as his wiry pubic hair scratched my bum. Hands grabbed my hips and pulled me onto the fleshy impalement. 

"And you're a fucking bastard," I replied breathlessly as he withdrew his cock. 

"Yes, I am, aren't I?” He sniggered like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "And it's you I'm fucking." 

He slammed his prick into me again. "Aren't you glad I talked you into this?" 

Have I mentioned that my husband possesses a lot of things? I did, didn't I? Unfortunately, among all the good qualities, he also has a few stupid ones, like smugness, arrogance, and a few ounces of stupidity. But, at that moment, I forgave him everything. He'd remembered my "hard and fast" instructions and was pounding into me.

He hawked and spat, then used his thumb to rub the warm saliva into and around my tight anus. Without breaking his stride, his thumb pressed against my twitching sphincter and then entered my back passage. 

All I could do was moan and grab the worktop to steady myself. His fingertips pressed on to the small of my back as he kept pumping his manhood into my dripping wet sex. Bodies slapping together competed with grunts and groans for supremacy as the symphony of sex filled my ears. 

Dan's grip on my hips tightened and it seemed to me his momentum increased. "Don't cum inside me, darling," I warned through clenched teeth, but was unsure if he'd heard me. 

"I won't," he panted, thrusting his cock into me again after resting against my bum cheeks. "Finger yourself, babe," he ordered and I gladly obliged. 

I moved a hand from the worktop and reached into my saturated panties. Swiftly brushing through my trimmed bush, I sought out my swollen clit and began rubbing it hard, my fingers travelling in a circular motion. The initial contact caused my body to jolt violently and Dan, recognizing the sign for what it was, pressed his thumb as deep as he could go while encouraging me. 

"That's it, Baby, cum for me. Cum all over my big fucking prick.”

He was panting like a steam engine and, like the stoker keeping the boiler filled with coal, sweat trickled down his handsome face. 

My whimpers and moans increased in both volume and regularity, interspersed only by short sharp breaths. My stomach tightened and my legs began to feel like jelly. I was so close, I begged him not to stop. 

A powerful gut wrenching caused me to spasm. Cum flooded my cunt and I wailed in glorious oblivion. My back arched and my lips curled down at the corners while my body shook uncontrollably from the maelstrom of emotions assaulting me. 

Happily, Dan is used to my orgasms and knows what to do. Without stopping, he kept pumping his cock and thumb into me, each appendage brutally penetrating my orifices. His thrusts were long and steady, the onslaught relentless while I attempted to weather the tempest of emotions coursing through my body. 

An occasional shiver caused me to smile as I enjoyed the aftermath of climax and then an ominous "uh-oh" reached my ears. The grunted warning awakened me from my daydreaming and I realized Dan was teetering on the edge. 

"Don't you dare..." 

Too late. 

His hot cream scorched my insides before he pulled out his pulsating prick. He proudly slapped it down on my left buttock and more spunk erupted from the exposed helmet. The thick, white liquid flew up the small of my back, stopping only when it came into contact with my blouse. 

More spewed from his manhood, but the power was gone and these expulsions dribbled down my buttocks and inner thighs to my stocking tops.

"I'm sorry, Baby," Dan gasped, trying to catch his breath. "I wanted to cum all over your beautiful ass, but I couldn't help myself." 

His body convulsed again and the last of his delicious seed oozed from his tiny slit. I glanced at the kitchen clock. I was going to be late but I didn't care. The office could wait, I had more important things to take care of. I turned and again sank to my knees, grabbing hold of his throbbing pleasure stick and guiding it towards my hungry mouth. 

"Don't worry, darling," I replied and gave his meat a long lick. "Let me worry about that. You just stand there and let me finish my breakfast.” 

Then I helped myself to some hot, spicy sausage.

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

Copyright © All stories written by Andrea Detroit are protected under the laws governing copyright. All rights are reserved. No documents or parts thereof may be reproduced or transmitted in any shape or form. This includes all means of recording, electronic, mechanical, or photo-graphical and any other methods not already mentioned, without prior written agreement of Andrea Detroit

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