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Muff Nudge

The naughtiest elf at the salon

"Next!" I called, more curtly than was professional. Nineteenth customer of the day can do that to a girl, not that I was counting. My calves ached beneath the cheap, gimmicky costume that was covered in other people's hair. Nobody in their right mind wanted their hair cut by an elf. It was stupid. And to cap it off, fucking Bieber bleated about love on the local station, like he was even old enough to understand what the word meant. But at least it made a change from Slade, Mariah Carey, and Wham. They were all on my shit list.

From the padded bench, worn and faded by the light through the window, customer nineteen stepped to the chair. Until that moment, the highpoint of my day had been the sweet chilli chicken bagel. He changed all that. I watched, transfixed as he sat and swung to face the mirror, the oversize hairspray and mousse canisters framing his gorgeous, stubbled complexion. Dark brown eyes like liquid Bournville sought mine. Broad shoulders, with a well-defined physique lay beneath the Nike T-shirt and jeans. I couldn't help sneaking a look at his lap, the package inviting, before returning my attention to his hair. It was overgrown and lustrous of course, which I stroked as he settled. Perk of the job.

"What can I do for you?"

"Number two back and sides, tidy up top please."

"Something for the holiday season?"

"Gotta look my best for those office parties."

Gravelly voice for someone easily five years my junior. Baritone. Confident. Sexy. I flushed, unexpected yet welcome. It'd been a frustrating few months since Gareth left in a whirlwind of four-letter words and overflowing bin bags. Driven away from the home we'd made by my unquenchable desires. Too much woman for him to handle. Too horny, the uncontrollable pinpricks of necessity that were baked into my psyche surfacing at the most inappropriate moments, engulfing me in a torrent of hormones until I caved. My demands were fun at first, novel for him. Then they wore him out and he bailed. The place still felt empty. As did I.

Realising I was still stroking the guy's hair, I pulled away, grabbing the nylon robe and flicking it, letting it billow and settle around him before securing the Velcro and picking up the clippers. They buzzed into life in my hands. Similar tone and weight to the only other thing that buzzed in my life. Every damn night, sending me to sleep a panting, wet tangle of want, temporarily sated yet never cured. The unbreakable cycle of being mid-thirties and manless because everyone wrongly assumes you're fundamentally broken.

I sighed and began trimming above his ear, the strokes automatic and mechanistic. Sideways, diagonal, nape. I pressed on, perhaps too hard as he winced, catching my eye in the mirror. "Rough day?"

I shrugged. "Kids, pensioners, and the impatient."

"No Santa bearing gifts, in for a beard and eyebrow shape?"

I smiled despite myself. "No such luck."

"There's still time. Take it slow. I'm delicate."


I eased off and he adjusted the position of his head in response to the angle of the clippers. Muscle memory kicked in, back to the practised, automatic strokes, my mind free-wheeling around elements of my hollow life. Vauxhall Tigra. Dinner for one. Endless channels of crap, curled on the sofa stroking Ruggles' chin. Then falling into bed with just my hands and toys for company until orgasm and sleep overcame me, needs never quite fulfilled by the synthetic apparatus.

When he tipped his head forward all I could think about was kissing the exposed flesh of his neck, reaching to whip off the gown then his T-shirt to continue the trail over his firm, muscular back. Feeling him tense and relax as I worked down his damp skin and kissed round to the front, unsnapping those bulging jeans and releasing the organic, mushroom-headed steel I craved inside me.

I imagined sucking him to fullness, the delightful feeling of chamois shaft and flared head slithering over my pierced tongue, nudging the entrance to my throat as he reached to guide my head where he needed it. I could almost feel his grip tightening, bunching a fistful of hair, the telltale sweetness of pre-come oozing from his bulbous tip to lubricate my actions further, each thrust into my warm, wet mouth pushing us both closer to the edge.

But finishing him off between my lips was not my goal. At least, not those lips. Ignoring the stares of the customers, I pictured standing, pulling him up with me, spinning to place my palms against the cool glass of the giant mirror and pressing back against his hard cock, inviting him to tear my Kermit green leggings and snowflake panties down. To slide inside me fully, repeatedly, forcefully without regard for my well-being. To take me, grab my tits, pull my hair, and snarl filthy names in my ear. No beginning, no end, just each hot, sweaty instant a discrete movie frame until he breathlessly filled me and I felt momentarily whole as our come mixed and slithered from me, lining my thighs.

I've always loved risky sex. Parks. Castles. Churches. Libraries. The thrill of exposure. The excitement of being caught or watched at my emotional peak by strangers. I love the shocked expressions, nudges and winks of false modesty as people pretend to be appalled, yet none of them are able to tear their eyes away as we buck and pant for pleasure. The location has to have that spark of wrongness that ignites my libido. At work was new, enticing, and the thought of patrons and colleagues reacting turned me on. Maybe it'd be good for business, appealing to all the Game Of Thrones geeks to watch an elf get fucked before their very eyes.

I shook my head to clear it and picked up the scissors, stepping to his side to begin the ritual. Tracing fingers through soft hair. Dragging out a length. Snip. Repeat. As I shifted my feet I could feel my crotch dampening from the fantasy. Imagined bending to his ear and whispering what I wanted him to do to me, right that moment. Every sordid detail until he couldn't control himself and snapped, taking me hard. Fuck, I needed release.

Reaching to the top of his head brought me closer to the chair. Close enough that my pussy brushed his elbow resting atop the armrest beneath the shapeless gown. A jolt of electricity arced through my body and I exhaled, almost missing the snip. I scooped the next lock of hair and moved in again. Once. Twice, as if accidental. Adjusting my stance fractionally wider, I reached up again. Trace. Drag. Snip. Exhale, each nudge against his elbow grazing dangerously near my engorged clit. God it was exciting.

I wondered if he'd notice. Part of me wanted him to: I needed his cock. Moving to face him I stepped either side of his feet and bent to his eyeline to straighten his fringe. Of course he looked at the considerable swell of my tits before wrenching those chocolate irises back to mine. He was only human. My pussy leaked more into my underwear. At this rate they'd be see-through by five.

Stepping to his right side I tended the top of his pate, again using the natural motion of my body to press against his other protruding elbow. I hoped the hint of movement beneath the robe's centre wasn't my imagination. A surge of energy zapped my spine, spreading warmth to every erogenous zone. Nipples hardened. Face flushed. Pussy drooled.

So close.

Adjusting the angle for direct contact with my nub, the rhythm became second nature. Trace. Drag. Snip. Press. My clit hardened and I gave a tiny gasp, then froze. He was staring in the mirror, my open mouth and glazed olive eyes a giveaway, framed by my dusky bob beneath the pointed felt hat with bell at its peak.

Busted, but too far to stop.

The corners of my mouth upturned, sparkly cheeks rising a fraction, imploring him with my reflected gaze to become complicit. He gave a tiny smile and I felt his elbow creep out, pressing firmly against my core. I resumed. Trace. Drag… Snip… Ohhhhh. Fucking perfection.

My body began to quake in my costume and I bit my lip, soaking my knickers, struggling to remain upright. An insane orgasm gripped me, the salon lights fading in and out until the waves ultimately abated and I drifted my eyes open to see him smiling. I reciprocated and, when my hands had stopped shaking, finished his haircut, showing off my handiwork in the portable mirror.

He stood and handed over the banknote, his lingering touch maintaining my excitement. I returned more change than necessary and in another flurry of hormones mouthed, "Outside". He raised an eyebrow and I gave a sharp nod, then watched his arse leave. He turned left out of the shop and skirted into the alley with scarcely a look back.

"Just taking a break," I called, breezing into the office and out into the snow-covered alleyway. Fat flakes fluttered from a granite sky and my breath clouded ahead of me. He was there, all hunk, and didn't stand a fucking chance. I strode to him, pinned him to the brick wall and kissed hard, my petite hand snaking over his firm abs, then down between us to rub his hardening shaft through his jeans. He responded with vigour, hands cupping my arse and squeezing, our tongues waltzing.

I unsnapped his fly and sank to my knees, ignoring the circles of cold, wet fabric that formed, freeing his huge cock to my lustful gaze. My breath fogged its tip and I hungrily took it, shoving him as deep as I could before choking and pulling back to kiss and lick the gorgeous, veined meat. I needed no encouragement but let his fingers find my skull and guide me. Like the earlier fantasy, my mouth was only part of the journey.

Standing, I stepped aside facing the wall, thumbed the waistbands of the elfin outerwear and my knickers, sliding both south to reveal my peach. More than enough invitation. The hunk rounded on me, grasped my upturned cheeks, squeezed them, aimed and sank inside. I was forced to the wall, my forearms stopping my face from being grazed, allowing me to push back into his sculpted form.

Our tempo was frenzied from the start, the slapping of our bodies echoing down the narrow alley, the fucking bell on my hat jingling with each delicious thrust. I couldn't keep quiet, moaning every time I was filled and sucking breath when he withdrew. His hands gravitated from hips to my tits, mauling them through the material, pinching nipples that were doubly sensitive due to the snow. Leaving one arm for support, I dug the other hand between my legs and furiously masturbated as his length slammed into my dripping cunt.

"Harder," I snarled.

He obliged, the hat tinkling in sync with his hammering until our rhythm broke down and he unleashed ropes of thick, sticky come inside me. My orgasm wasn't far behind and I cried out as it gripped my entire body, trembling, losing track of where I was until cold crept in.

We separated, adjusted clothing, but no amount of rearrangement could hide the triangle of wet spots in my leggings.

He smiled. "Think they'll notice?"

"Probably. Let them talk."

A broader smile, dimples forming. "I'll see Bad Elf again?"

Flakes flitted. I nodded. "Christmas is a time for giving. I have plenty to give."

"I noticed."

He backed away, then turned and I watched him disappear before heading inside via the office to the warmth of the salon, fully prepared for an afternoon's banter at my expense. For once I didn't care and, perhaps fleetingly or maybe forever, Shakin' Stevens was off my shit list as he chorused, "Merry Christmas Everyone."

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

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