Carrie and I had just started dating within the year. I was new to the area, as I had moved here for work. She and I had met through an acquaintance and seemed to hit it off from the start. We were still in our getting-to-know-you stage, what most people call the "honeymoon" phase. It's the most interesting point in the relationship, in my opinion. Figuring out each other's likes and dislikes, turn-ons and turn-offs, and seeing if the relationship is something that can possibly go somewhere.

Carrie was a bit taller than average for a woman; she had black hair and striking brown eyes. She was a little on the thicker side, but in a more filled-out and fit sort of way. Big breasts, thicker thighs, and a nice bubble ass.

Carrie had been a party girl but was starting to tame it down some, which worked for me because I was at that same place in my life. I had done the party scene for a while but was over it for the most part. Not to say that I didn't like to, or I wouldn't, just that I didn't chase the scene like I used to.

We had planned our first little getaway together. Nothing super special, just a nice relaxing weekend in a cabin. We didn't have anything planned for what we would do there; we figured we would probably do a little hiking, dinner and movies, and things like that. I was wrong. I didn't have any idea what she had planned.

Before I get too far along on what happened at the cabin, I need to explain what happened earlier in the week. Carrie and I had a good sex life, and nothing that I would say was too far out of the ordinary. I would go down on her, she on me, she would swallow my cum, and I'd drink her juices, and the only thing that might be a bit different was that she enjoyed anal play more than other women that I had been with, especially when she had been drinking.

We had gone back to my place after a mild night at the bar. We weren't drunk, but getting a ride back was a good idea. We got into my bed, and I turned the TV on. This was what I would call our little ritual before we would start to get busy. It would start with a little bit of rubbing, we would make out, and then it was off to the races. Tonight was no different. I started it off by kissing her stomach and working my way down to her neatly trimmed pussy.

Some men don't like eating a girl out, but I love it. It feels raw, primal and makes me feel masculine. I started aggressively licking her clit. I'd alternate between licking her clit and trying to get my tongue inside of her while she was gently grinding against my mouth. It wasn't long before she said, "Stick your finger in my ass."

"No problem," I thought.

She then hiked her legs up to make accessing her rear end easier. I looked at her little hole and then spit on it. I took my middle finger and made a few small circles before I started working my finger in. She immediately pushed against my hand, so I pushed harder into her until I was all the way in. I kept licking her while pressing in to her with my finger. I could hear her making all sorts of pleasurable sounds. We carried on like this for the next several minutes, until I heard her let out a gasp like she had been holding her breath. I could feel her asshole tighten around my finger as she gyrated her hips. I tried to lick up as much of her juices as possible, as I was insanely horny at this point.

I slowly pulled out of her while she composed herself. I came up to give her a kiss, and she met me halfway, and our tongues met. She pushed on my shoulders in an attempt to roll me over.

"Your turn," she said with a playful grin.

We traded spots so I was lying on my back and she was kneeling on the bed. She crouched down and started to do what I did to her. She kissed my stomach, making her way down to my cock. She grabbed the shaft and kissed the head. I closed my eyes and started to relax. I felt her tongue lick the bottom of my dick before I felt her warm, wet mouth enclose all around it. She started going up and down slowly, just how I like it. She grabbed my balls and rubbed them while she worked my shaft. Then she did something that she had never done before.

I felt her hand let go of my balls and start going south. I could feel her rubbing my taint. "What is she doing?" I thought. I then felt her let saliva run out of her mouth and down to my hole. I then felt her finger start to prod my asshole. I then pushed her hand away.

"No," I said.

"Come on, babe, don't be shy," she said. "I won't tell."

"No, I'm good," I answered back. "Just keep doing what you were doing."

"But you might like it," she said.

"I won't; just give me head," I said back to her.

She gave up and went back to sucking me. After another minute or so, I came. She swallowed it all like normal; however, during our kiss, I could tell that something was off. She seemed pulled back. It was late, and I thought maybe I was just reading too much into it. We cleaned off a little and then bedded down to sleep. I figured things would be fine in the morning.

When we woke up, the tension was still there. It wasn't anything crazy, but it could be felt since it was different. I asked her what was wrong but got the standard "nothing" answer in reply. I wasn't sure what else to do. We both needed to get ready to go to work, so I figured I'd try and fix whatever was bothering her later. We didn't really have time to deal with this much anyway. We got ready and then went on our ways.

I hadn't thought much of it again until lunchtime. I decided to send her a text, just to see how she was. People sometimes open up better through text anyway.

"Hey hun, how's your day going?" I texted.

"Going fine," she wrote back.

I wasn't sure what to make of it. She was usually more descriptive, but maybe she was just busy. Should I try and push it more? Well, why not? What's the worst that could happen?

"So, I feel like there's been some tension since last night. Did I do something wrong? If I did, I apologize," I texted.

I didn't get back a response right away like I was expecting. It would be another 45 minutes or so until she texted me back.

"I felt like you thought you couldn't trust me. I wasn't going to do anything that would have hurt you, and if you didn't like it, I would have stopped."

Was she really upset that I wouldn't let her finger me? We did talk about being open with each other sexually, open to things, but I guess I didn't figure this is what she meant. I suppose I hadn't thought much about it. Maybe she was partly right. Maybe I didn't trust her? What if I liked it? What would she think about me? What would that say about me? What if she told someone, one of her friends, or worse yet, one of mine?

I didn't really know what to say back, but I had to say something. I figured I'd just buy myself some time to think about what I wanted to tell her.

"We can talk about it," is all I texted back.

I wouldn't see her for a couple of days until our weekend trip. I had some double shifts at work ahead of me; hopefully I would have enough time to craft something up. I had to figure out if I was going to let her or not. It's not that I would have a huge problem with it, but again, how much did I trust her? It wasn't that she wasn't trustworthy because she was, but it would be a big secret for me.

Over the next few days I would think about it on and off. I kind of became intrigued with it. I have had anal sex with women before, fingered their asses, and used butt plugs in them when we had sex, but never had anything in me. I read up on it a bit and watched some porn with women giving their men prostate massages. Honestly, it had been something that kind of interested me before, but not something that I would have asked for due to embarrassment, especially if I liked it.

Friday finally arrived. I got off work early, and I went home to wait for Carrie. I had been looking forward to this little vacation, as I had been working so much, and I also hadn't seen Carrie since that night. We texted every day, and there was no more tension; everything was fine and had blown over. As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure she remembered that we had any friction. It was such a minor thing that it wouldn't be surprising. I had decided that I would let her do it, but I wasn't going to ask her to. If it came up, then OK, we'd talk about it, but I wasn't going to bring it up. My thought was in the unlikely event she said anything, she only knows a few of my friends around here and nobody back home, where I planned to go back to eventually.

Carrie arrived about an hour after I had gotten home. She was wearing some black yoga pants with a little black tank top with small skulls on it and some black sandals. It was one of my favorite things that she wears; the pants make her ass look great, and she has beautiful feet that I like to see. She brought 2 bags with her, one rolling suitcase and one handheld. Leave it to a woman to pack 2 bags for a 2-day trip! I got my backpack, and we headed to the car. It was time to get this show on the road.

The drive out was uneventful. We had a good conversation since we hadn't really spoken for most of the week due to our work schedule. We arrived at our cabin about 3 hours later, happy to be out of the car. When the ad said remote, they weren't kidding. It was in the sticks. It was also very small. It had one bedroom, a living room, and a small kitchen area along with a bathroom. The inside looked better than what you would have expected considering what the outside looked like. On the back of the cabin was a porch with a table and a hot tub for 2. Definitely not a luxurious place, but fine for us.

I opened the door to the patio where the hot tub was. I could smell the chlorine in the cool night air. I removed the cover and felt the water, which was nice and warm. After the car ride I was eager for a stiff drink and to put this tub to use.

I walked back inside and yelled at Carrie, who was in the bedroom.

"Hey hun, do you want to get a couple of drinks and jump in the hot tub?" I asked.

She emerged from the bedroom with a grin on her face. "Not really," she replied. “At least no drinks."

"And why is that?" I asked.

We had talked about wanting to get good and hammered on this trip. I was half expecting her to tell me she was pregnant, which, if that was the case, I would need to drink.

"I did a thing," she said, still grinning.

She reached into the pouch of the hoodie that she was wearing and pulled out a cellophane bag. Inside the bag were several small blue pills.

I reached out for the bag to examine what she had. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that the pills had little speckles, as well as a dolphin pressed into them. I knew right away it was ecstasy.

"Really, babe!?" I said, kind of amazed. I didn't expect this at all, but it was a pleasant surprise.

"I know we have both talked about it, and the fun we had, and I had an opportunity to get some and figured, why not?" she said. "You're not mad, are you?"

"Of course not. Why would I be?"

"I don't know. I know you've talked about this stuff as being behind you, and I wasn't sure if you'd be mad that I brought it up," she said.

"I mean, I said I can't party like I used to, not that we can't ever have some fun!" I replied.

"I was hoping that's what you'd say," she said as she put her arms around me. "We are going to have an amazing weekend!"

We sat down at the table, and each grabbed a pill out of the bag and popped it in our mouths. Carrie pulled another one out and began to crush it up. I pulled out my wallet and retrieved a bill, I rolled it up while she made 2 blue lines.

"Let's get this party started," I said.

I handed her the rolled-up bill so that she could take her bump. She leaned over and snorted the whole line in one go. She handed me back the bill as she leaned back in her chair. I rerolled the bill and then took my bump.

I felt the familiar burn. I sat back with Carrie, waiting for it to subside, which it did fairly quickly. I could feel the effects starting to come on. The fatigue from the trip was starting to fade away, and my mood was lifting. After a few moments I got up.

"Hot tub?" I said.

"Absolutely."

We walked out the back door onto the patio next to the hot tub, where we began to take our clothes off. I could see her body silhouetted against the night sky, the outline of her perfect tits. Once we were fully nude, we slipped into the water, its warmth adding to our high. I laid back, resting my head on the back of the tub, while she lay opposite of me. It was quiet except for the hum of the motor circulating the water for the jets. Then she spoke.

"So, we were going to have a conversation?"

"Oh, here we go," I thought. I knew what she was talking about, but I wanted to make her say it, to be sure.

"Talk about what?" I answered back.

"About me playing with your little butthole, why wouldn't you let me?" she said.

"The question is, why do you want to?" I said back.

"I just like it. Like you said, you just like eating pussy; it's just something that I enjoy doing. I think for men, there's a lot more trust involved, and I like knowing I have that trust; that's the reason it kind of hurt my feelings that you wouldn't let me the other night," she replied.

I could see her point, and she was pretty spot on. I am a pretty guarded person, and there was the trust issue.

"I didn't know what you'd think of me if I let you, like if I was gay or whatever; it's embarrassing."

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, and you're having it done to you by a woman," she said. "I wouldn't think you're gay; you could even suck a dick right in front of me, and that wouldn't even necessarily mean you were gay in my opinion."

My defenses were coming down, but I wasn't about to tell her that I had already crossed that bridge before and how right she was.

"Well, OK then." I said. "I had already decided that I would let you if you wanted, but just please, don't tell anyone. That's all I'd need," I said, half chuckling.

I could feel her foot on my foot and then tracing up my leg to my dick and balls. I could feel her toes on my shaft and the head of my cock. She softly played with them using her toes.

"I won't tell anyone, ever, for any reason. It's our business and ours alone," she said back.

Well, it was a done deal. I would have some fingers in my asshole tonight. Honestly, I was pretty excited.

"I know why men would like it, but why do you?" I asked her.

"It makes me feel filled up, and I like that feeling. I can also feel it in my pussy if your dick or your fingers or whatever hits the right spots, even better sometimes than if it was in my pussy. I don't know why...and I just like being a dirty girl," she stated, giving me a mischievous smile.

I grabbed her foot that was still on my cock and gently pulled her towards me. She got up and turned away from me and lay back against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in against my dick. I kissed her neck as I worked my hand down to her pussy. I took my middle finger and traced up and down her lips; I could feel her clit sticking out. I would imagine she was just as horny as I was. I just wanted to play with it. I imagined it would feel amazing for her, especially in our state. Normal touches felt amazing.

I could feel the pill we ate starting to come on. My love and empathy emotions were ramped way up, and my defenses and inhibitions were nearly completely down.

"Man, I'm fucked up," I whispered in her ear as I was still kissing on her.

"Me too, baby, I'm ready to get out of here," she replied back as she turned around to give me a kiss on the mouth.

I shook my head in agreement. At this moment, all I wanted to do was merge with this other human.

"I hope you took your birth control," I said to her as she stepped out of the hot tub and grabbed a towel.

"I did, but that's not the hole I want you to cum in," she said back.

We dried off and made it to the bedroom. Carrie put a shirt over the lamp to dim the light while I crawled onto the bed. I grabbed her hand and pulled her down to me. I rolled her over onto her back and was about to start to go down on her when she stopped me.

"You always take care of me first; it's my turn," she said.

I lay on my back and just closed my eyes. I could feel her kissing my chest and belly. She moved over and sucked my nipples for a second. She then kissed her way down to my dick. I then felt her tongue on the bottom of my shaft before I felt her mouth enclose around it completely. She sucked it slowly and gently; every movement on it felt amazing. I soon felt her take my cock out of her mouth and then felt her grab my ankles and push my legs up so my ass was facing up. I felt her fingers rub over my hole. This time I was excited. No inhibitions. I would have begged her for it now.

To my surprise I felt her tongue on my back door. It tickled but felt so good and erotic. I pulled my legs up even more to give her a better angle and to let her know I was into it. I could feel her tongue poking and prodding my asshole while she rubbed my cock with her hand. I didn't think I could get any more horny, but the more she licked me, the more turned on I got. I could feel it in my toes.

I wanted to feel her inside of me.

"Please put a finger in," I said to her, my voice shaky.

"Oh, now you want a finger?" she said playfully. "You're supposed to lick it before you stick it, right?"

She got up and went to one of the bags she brought and unzipped it. Once my eyes focused, I could see that she had brought toys with her in that second bag.

"I got some lube," she said.

"What else did you bring?" I asked.

"You'll see," she said as she got back on the bed. "Now back as you were," she ordered.

I lay back down and closed my eyes and exposed my ass to her again. I heard the bottle open and then felt the coolness of the jelly on my ass. I then felt her finger go inside me, just a little. I then felt her slowly go in a little deeper until she was all the way in. It was an electric feeling. Then she hit my button. I gasped as soon as she touched it. I couldn't help it. I didn't know it would feel this amazing.

"Oh fuck, baby, please don't stop," I said to her.

“I won't."

I then felt her mouth around my cock again. She was pushing into me and going up and down on my shaft in a rhythm. I was pushing back against her hand, trying to get her in deeper, with more pressure on my button. She was at it for a while, and it was the best feeling in the world, but I couldn't cum.

"You can put another finger in," I said.

I could hear and feel a little giggle while her mouth was still on my dick before she said, "I already have 3 in you, baby."

I was surprised because I was so focused on how good it felt that I hadn't noticed she slipped 2 more in.

"I have to get you ready for later," she said.

She kept going for a while longer; it felt amazing, and I hadn't cum, but it was time to take care of her. We would have to just take turns.

"Your turn," I said to her.

We traded positions on the bed. She pulled me down to her, where we kissed again. She then whispered to me,

"I want you to do to me what I did to you, but I want you to fuck me in my ass."

I kissed her down her sternum. I kissed each nipple, down to her belly button, and I kissed her clit before I pushed her legs up to expose her ass. I looked at her tight little hole before I kissed it. I then spread her cheeks and started licking. I wanted to try and get my tongue as far inside as I could, like she did to me. I felt her squirm; I'm sure it tickled her like it tickled me. While I tongued her asshole, I rubbed her clit with my thumb.

“Alright, fuck me," I heard her say while I was down there.

I leaned over to the nightstand to grab the lube. I got the bottle and squeezed a bit out, slathering it on my dick, making sure to get a good amount on the head.

"Oh, wait a minute," she said as she got up again and walked over to the bag she got the lube out of. She pulled a small box out of the bag and opened it. A small pink vibrator was inside. She reached back into the bag and got a pack of batteries, which she opened, took one, and loaded it into the vibrator. I got off the bed to see exactly what was in this bag of hers.

Inside were 2 butt plugs, one pink and one blue, a double-sided dildo, and... a strap-on.

"Really?" I asked with a smirk.

"Maybe. We'll see," she replied. "I had to stretch you out first, but I know you can handle it."

She had a naughty smile on her face. I had to admit, it was very refreshing talking about everything we were doing out in the open freely without any kind of guilt or shame. I knew I might feel differently once the drugs wore off, but for right now I was going to embrace it.

"OK, well, we can give it a try," I replied.

We got back into the bed. She lay on her back and gave me her ankles, and I put them on my shoulders, and then I slid my dick into her pussy.

"Not that one," she said. I knew what she wanted, but I wanted her to tell me.

I pulled my dick out and attempted to put it in her ass. She reached down and helped guide me in. There was still plenty of lube on me, but I wanted to start slowly so as not to hurt her. I pressed on her hole, and I could feel it opening up around me. I could feel it get around the head, and then it just slipped in the rest of the way. I felt it tight around me, the warmth. I heard her moan as I got to the last inch. I heard the vibrator turn on as she started stimulating her clit, and I could kind of feel it through her ass, which was nice. I grabbed her foot and started kissing it and sucking her toes. We went like this for a while until she wanted me to roll her over.

"Do it doggy," she said.

She rolled over and stuck her ass in the air. Her hole was a little dilated now and had lube coming out of it, which I liked the look of. I stuck my cock back in, and it slid in with no issue.

"Oh yeah, right there, push in, push in, push in!" she exclaimed.

I did as she asked. I railed her until my legs started to shake. I had been in that position for a while. I needed a break!

"I need a break and a cigarette, hun," I said to her.

"Oh, don't stop," she said. "Please."

I wanted to keep going, but I couldn't. I pulled out of her and stood up on the floor, with my quads appreciating the mercy.

"Hand me the plug," she said.

I opened her bag and handed it to her and then sat down on the chair that was in the bedroom. I lit up a Marlboro menthol and sat back and watched as she toyed with her ass and stimulated her pussy. It was so sexy to watch in that moment. Then I thought to myself, why am I sitting here? I can get closer. I got off the chair and sat on the floor near the edge of the bed and got a closer look. I couldn't help but start stroking myself while watching. I finished my cigarette but decided I enjoyed watching and wanted to take over toying duties. I nudged her hand away from the base of the plug, and I took over.

"I'm so close to cumming again," she said.

"Again?" I thought. Lucky girl. I hadn't come once. A blessing and a curse for men on the "hug drug," I thought to myself.

I pushed and pulled on the plug, pulling it halfway out and then pushing it in as far as possible. Every now and then I'd take it all the way out and watch her mini-gape close up before I'd stuff it back in again.

"Uhhh. Yeahhh," she groaned. It must have happened for her again. I let go of the plug, and her ass sucked it back in to the base. She left it in as she sat up and turned off the vibrator.

"I'm going to need one of those cigarettes," she said.

I grabbed the pack and sparked one up, handed it to her, and then lit another one for myself.

"How are you feeling, love?" she asked.

"Fucking amazing," I replied. "Do you want to take another pill?"

"I was just about to say that," she said back to me.

Carrie took a drag off of her cigarette and then walked over and grabbed the baggie. She took out another pill for her and one for me. I realized that I was also pretty thirsty. I got up and went and got a couple glasses of water for us. I drank my glass and then refilled it and then took Carrie her glass. I know dehydration could be a factor with what we were doing, so I made her drink her glass too. We lay in bed holding each other and smoking cigarettes.

"You're not tapping out on me," she said before taking a hit of her cigarette.

"No ma'am, absolutely fucking not," I replied.

"I'm really glad we are doing this," I said to her. "I kind of want to try out some of those toys."

"Me too, I'm happy you opened up to me...and yeah, I want to rail you," she said back. "I want to grab your hips and push into you, make you my bitch," she said as she gave me a little squeeze.

"Have you done that to someone before?" I asked her.

"I've fingered a couple of my boyfriends before, but I've never pegged anyone. You'd be my first. Is this your first time with anal play...truthfully?" she asked.

"Yeah, pretty much," I replied back.

"Pretty much? That's not yes."

"I fingered my own ass once just to see what it was like," I said. "But it wasn't anything like this."

"I would have liked to watch that," she said back.

"We can watch each other do it if you want," I said back.

I didn't really want to tell her that, but I could already feel the new pills starting to hit. Shit was almost like truth serum. We lay there and talked and smoked for a bit longer.

"Is it hitting you yet?" I asked.

"Yup."

We lay there cuddling for a few more minutes while the euphoria was washing over us again. I took in her beauty, from her perfect breasts to her well-manicured toes. I was getting lost in my mind thinking about it and what we had just done. It took her gently rubbing my cock to bring me back.

"I want to make it hard again," she said.

"Well, keep going then; you're doing a good job," I replied.

"I have a better way," she said as she got up out of the bed. I could still see the little pink butt plug she had in her. She opened the bag and retrieved the strap-on that she had brought.

“Here we go," I thought to myself. I was a bit apprehensive about it; however, I had already come this far. Plus, we would be doing something neither one of us had done before.

I watched as she assembled the straps to the penis. This thing was bigger than my dick. I feel like my dick could be considered anal-friendly—not too big, not too small, just about right for going in an asshole. It had me a bit worried.

"That's pretty big," I said to Carrie.

"Don't worry, babe, I'll go slow," she replied while putting lube onto the dildo.

I lay back while she got onto the bed. She grabbed my ankles and lifted them where she needed them, reminiscent of the way I do to her. She reached down to feel my asshole and then guided it in.

"Right there, baby?" she asked.

"Uh-huh," I replied.

It hurt a little, at least at first. It could have been partly because of all the play we had earlier, but she went slow. I could feel it hit my prostate, and I let out a little groan. She knew she hit the spot. She bent down and kissed me, our tongues meeting as she thrust in. It started to feel great. I felt that "filled up" feeling she had talked about. I also felt the balance of power tip towards her. In my day-to-day life, I am in charge and responsible for so many things; it's stressful. In this moment though, she was in charge and felt like she was taking the weight off my shoulders. It's hard to explain, but that's about how I felt, which made everything more pleasurable. I liked the role reversal.

"You like that dick in your ass?" she said to me.

I just nodded.

"You're taking it like a champ, baby," she said.

She was fucking my ass and jerking me off at the same time. I was leaking pre-cum pretty good. I would watch her wipe it on her fingers and then lick them.

"Let me know if you're getting close," she said.

We went on for a while, until the point where I might have busted. I let her know that I might be getting there. She stopped and pulled out of me.

"Baby, please put it back in," I begged her.

"I want us to try and cum together," she said.

She pulled her butt plug out and then pushed it into my hole. She turned around and grabbed her vibrator and then told me to sit up.

"That plug is in you, and I want you in me. That way when we cum, we can be feeling the same thing at the same time," she said.

I sat up with the plug in my ass, and she sat in my lap with my cock up hers. She had her vibrator on her clit. We weren't like that very long; as soon as she told me she was about to go, I popped. It was like a dam had just broken. I had never cum that much. I think even she was surprised. That's what you get from fucking this long and not cumming, I assumed. I pulled out, and it just came running out of her. She laid back, and I enjoyed the sight of her asshole, a bit puffed out with my semen running out of it. It was very sexy.

We both lay back and took it all in. There was a feeling of pure bliss, happiness in being with each other and what we had just done. We kissed for a little bit and just held each other.

"Cigarette?" she looked at me and asked.

"You read my mind," I said.

She pulled out a smoke and lit one up and handed it to me, and then lit one up for herself. She took a hit before she said,

"I have to pee."

"Me too," I said.

We both got up and went to the bathroom. She sat on the toilet to do her business, and I stood next to her waiting my turn. There was a long mirror that spanned the entire length of the bathroom until it got to the shower. I looked at myself for a minute before I turned around. I wanted to look at my ass. I could feel it throbbing a bit. It looked puffy and big.

"Fuck, my ass is swollen," I said.

Carrie chuckled a bit.

"Don't worry, babe, it always goes back to normal."

She got done and stood up. "At least you don't have cum running out of yours," she said with a smile as she got up and checked out her own ass.

We both got done in the bathroom and laid back down in the bed. The sun was up, and the drugs were starting to wear off. We still had more pills, but I think we both were wanting to call it a night. The sunlight was coming around the curtains, lighting up the room, which neither one of us liked. We took the blanket off the bed and hung it up on the curtain rod to help block the light. We lay back down on the bed and pulled the sheet up over us. She lay on her side, and I snuggled up next to her.

We ended up staying in bed sleeping the entire rest of the day into Sunday morning. When I finally sat up out of bed, I was sore. My back was sore, my hips were sore, my dick was sore, and my ass was surely sore. I kicked my feet off the side of the bed and lit up a smoke. I thought about everything that transpired through the night. Now that I was sober, I was feeling a bit embarrassed about what I had done and the things I asked to be done to me. I wondered how Carrie would look at me and how it might affect our relationship. I can't change anything now, and I did have a great time, but the worry was in the back of my mind.

I could feel Carrie waking up and starting to move around.

"Hmm," she let out a light groan. "Can I please have a cigarette?"

I lit one up for her and handed it off.

"We have to start getting ready. We need to be out of here by 10," I said.

We got up and showered. The place was a mess. We managed to miss just about everything we were ashing our cigarettes in, knocked over glasses, and made all sorts of other little messes that I don't even remember how we made. We picked up and tried to clean as much as possible so it didn't look like we were doing drugs and fucking for hours. We didn't really say much to each other; I think we were both still tired and a bit dazed still.

Once we finished cleaning and packing, we did one final sweep of the cabin to make sure we didn't leave anything, incriminating or otherwise. Once done, we dropped the key in the lockbox and took off.

The drive home was just as quiet. Carrie ended up falling asleep again shortly after we left. I replayed things that we did throughout the night in my head. I couldn't believe some of the things I did and said. I wondered how this might change the dynamics of our relationship. I wondered if I'd even be able to talk about it while sober. I didn't think I'd be the one to broach that subject. "I'll cross that bridge when I get there," I thought.

We were about half an hour away from my house when Carrie woke up. She lit up a cigarette and rolled down the window.

"Well, I had a really good fucking time," she said more enthusiastically than I would have imagined she would have been.

"Yeah, me too," I said.

"Look, I know some of what we did might be embarrassing for you, but I just want you to know, you don't have to worry about it with me. I'm not going to say anything, and I don't think of you any differently. We can talk normally about it. No judgment."

Her saying that really made me feel comfortable, a lot more at ease. I know she had said it before, but it was the sincerity in her voice that was calming.

"Thanks, hun, that really means a lot," I said. “I'm not sure how much I'll be able to talk about this with you, but we can work on it."

"I'd really like that, because I'd definitely love to do this again," she said.

"Me too.“