I stare off into space, looking out the window. It's cloudy today. Dark and gloomy. Just like my mood.
"Amy," Kim says softly to get my attention.
I turn my attention to her, but I am not looking at her. I am looking at him, Wayne. Tall and beautiful, so surreal.
"How did it start?" she asks again.
"It was one day when I was home alone. Dancing to the music from my cell phone. I felt someone staring at me, so I stopped and looked around. Saw no one, but I knew someone was there because I could feel it."
He smiles at me lovingly, remembering that day with me.
I close my eyes, not wanting to stare at him.
"And then?"
"It went on like that for a while," I say.
"How long?"
"Maybe a week or two," I say.
"What else happened that made you realize it?"
I open my eyes. Wayne isn't where he was anymore. I look around the room and see him standing at the window, looking out, as I had before.
"Amy," Kim says, signaling for me to continue.
"My music came on by itself whenever I was alone."
"How do you know it wasn't just a virus?"
He turns around and looks at me, then at Kim.
"I just know."
"How?" she asks.
"I could feel his presence. It was stronger that day."
He smiles, remembering just exactly what day I am referring to.
"What happened?" she asks.
"I turned the music off. I was going to walk out of my room, but he turned it back on."
"And?" she urges.
"There was this whisper..." I say, quietly. "He said, 'dance for me, like you had before,' and as crazy as it seems, I wanted to listen. So I closed my door and as if my body was possessed, I started dancing. I danced like I never had before. The more I danced, the more he became visible to me."
"What else?"
"When the song was over, he walked toward me. Smiling. He was the most beautiful person I had ever seen..."
He comes over to me and touches my hand. I close my eyes and sigh.
"Were you not scared?"
"Of course I was, but I was also mesmerized by his beauty..."
"Did he say anything else to you?"
"He said he loves me and that I am his."
"But he isn't real, Amy," Kim says.
I stay quiet. This is my third time telling her of this first meeting. Each time, she would tell me that he is just a figment of my imagination.
"I know," I say, tired of the same conversation we have each time we meet.
"Everything he says, it is what you want someone else to say to you. Remember that."
"I will."
"Have you done what I asked you to do since the last time we met?"
She told me to make friends, find a boy that I like and get acquainted with him. I never did.
Wayne didn't want me to.
"Yes," I lie.
He stares at me, concerned, then stares at her, angry that she told me to do it.
"You're a beautiful girl, Amy. Any guy will want you. You don't have to think that you're not beautiful enough to find someone."
She thinks that I made an imaginary guy because I am self-conscious, because I think I am not beautiful enough.
"I know," I say.
The bell rings, signaling the end of our meeting. I get up and gather my stuff.
"Call me if you need anything," Kim says, softly.
"I will."
I walk out of the building to my car.
"She is naive," he says, smiling.
I don't comment on it.
"Why do you need to go see her anyways? Do you really not believe that I am real?"
"I don't know..." I say quietly.
"Baby, I am as real as you are real. You feel my touch, you see me, and you can hear me. Is that not real enough?" he asks, holding my hand.
"No, because I am the only one who sees you, who can feel your touch, and who can hear you."
"How can I prove to you that I am real?"
"I don't know."
The ride home is quiet. When I park my car, he vanishes. I look up at my bedroom window and see him staring out at me.
I sigh, walking inside the house and up the stairs to my room. I take off my coat and throw it on the ground. I shed all my heavy clothes off until I am only in my underwear and tank top before I climb into my bed, under the covers.
He appears next to me, tracing little circles on my stomach.
"I am real, Amy," he says. "I can prove it."
I stare up at the ceiling, unable to think properly.
He pulls my chin towards him and kisses me.
"You can feel my kiss," he says onto my lips.
He kisses down to my neck and back up to my ear and sucks on my earlobe. I shudder in pleasure as his cold breath hits my ear. His hands trails down to my panties and sticks his hand inside, cupping my pussy with his hand.
"You can feel my hand on your pussy," Wayne states, staring me in the eye.