I stopped by the grocery store on my way home to buy some tuna and a litter box. When I opened the front door I was greeted by the pleasant odor of cooking, but the best thing was seeing my wife at home doing the cooking. Hobo jumped out of my arms and immediately ran to Allie, meowing and rubbing against her leg.

She smiled and said, “You men are all the same. All you think is if you ‘rub on me’ just right, you’ll get your way.”

I stood there feeling so happy that all I could choke out was, “Hi.”

“That’s it? Hi?” Allie quirked a brow. “An entire month goes by and that’s all you have to say?”

“I was surprised to see you... Are you home for good?”

“That depends on a lot of things.”

“If you leave again it will probably kill me,” I sullenly expressed.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Jason.” She paused and stared down at Hobo. “What are you planning to feed this cat?” Allie tried to push him away, but he was relentless.

I placed the grocery bag on the table and pulled out a can of tuna.

Allie laughed and said, “Did you even consider buying cat food?”

“Cats eat tuna… don’t they?”

“Here,” she sighed. “Give it to me. How did you manage to survive without me?”

“One day at a time.”

“I’ll bet the gym is a disaster.”

I hesitated to answer but knew I should tell her everything. “Actually, I was a bit overwhelmed, so I hired some extra help.”

“Oh? Who?”

“A young college student named Denise.”

“Let me guess… she’s gorgeous.”

“That’s not why I hired her. Besides, she doesn’t compare to you.”

“Sure.” Allie rolled her eyes. “What else is new?”

“Well, I also rehired Martin on a temporary basis.”

“What? After all that has happened between us? Why?” She looked genuinely shocked.

“I have been swamped with work since our membership has doubled in just the last three weeks. You know Martin is a capable instructor—and Denise is accomplished doing the daily office work. Plus, she is leading the spin classes that were yours.”

Hobo found his way to my recliner and was contently licking himself after polishing off his dinner.

“It doesn’t appear you need me anymore,” said Allie.

“Well, you’ve got that wrong. I need you in ways that far surpasses anything concerning that damn gym.”

“I bet you do. When’s the last time you did laundry?”

“Actually, the cleaning service did it yesterday. You know I’m not domesticated, so I hired it out.”

“Doesn’t that cost a bunch? A cleaning service, new hires at the gym, a cat… what other surprises should I expect?”

“That’s about all on my end. How about you?” I asked. “What are your surprises?”

“That’s a later conversation. Go clean up for dinner. I can smell you from over here.”

*****

I opted to use the downstairs guest room shower since I had moved all my things out of the master bedroom. It had been too painful for me seeing my wife’s clothing and personal items on a daily basis. I silently prayed that she was home to stay. The hot water didn’t wash away my anxiety. I wasn’t sure what the future of our marriage would be, but after over a month of separation, I was prepared to make any concession she’d ask for. I loved her that much.

“Smells wonderful,” I said, walking into the kitchen and buttoning my shirt.

“You must really be hungry if you appreciate my cooking.” Allie smirked.

“It beats the hell out of eating takeout.” I pulled her in for a kiss.

She put her hands on my chest and pushed me away saying, “Later, stud… eat your meal first.”

We ate while making polite conversation. I talked about all the changes at the gym, and she caught me up on what was happening at the hospital. She also expressed a desire to get back to work and update her nutrition program. We talked, but didn’t really talk, skirting the real issue of what had brought us to this point. As strange as it seemed, it was like we were a couple on a first date, feeling each other out. After our meal, we cleaned up in virtual silence.

In an effort to break the tension, I said, “Get your jacket.”

“Why?”

“Let’s take a walk and watch the sunset. I remember we used to walk after dinner all the time,” I replied, helping her put on her windbreaker.

*****

The sky was just starting to flair with an array of breathtaking colors. It reminded me of how people tend to take some of the best things in life for granted. We lived on a beach that people would travel thousands of miles to see, and I couldn’t remember the last time I surfed or even walked barefoot along the ocean edge.

Was it that same overfamiliarity that led me to fantasize about something different in my marriage? I thought to myself.

Allie took my arm in hers and snuggled close as we walked along the promenade. The crash of the breakers and salt mist made me feel small compared to the enormity of nature.

“Thank you, Jason,” she said, looking up at me while brushing away her windswept hair.

“For what?” I asked.

Her gaze was mesmerizing as our eyes locked.

“For trying to work things out with me… for us. I really do want to get back to normal.”

“You mean our normal overworked and over-stressed life?”

“No, smart ass. You know what I mean.”

“Yes, I do know what you mean, Allie. But I’m not sure we can go back—at least not to the way it was.”

“Why not?” she asked, raising her voice above the breaking surf.

I stopped walking and pulled her to me. “Because… too much has happened. We can’t go back. I think our only option is to move forward.”

“I agree, but there’s still much we need to discuss about our past. It appears we still have a lot to discover about each other,” she said, barely audible.

The sun was almost down, and the temperature was dropping quickly. I suggested we go to the little deli on the way home and get some coffee or coco; Allie readily agreed. I put my arm around her and led the way back on the cobblestone walkway. The shop was almost empty. Allie chose a table as I ordered a couple decaf coffees. I watched her in the mirror behind the bar. She pulled down her hood and shook out her hair. I thought how fortunate I was to have such a gorgeous wife and wondered how things had got to where they were. I remembered how Martin once told me that it was inevitable that my wife would eventually find a lover because it was in her nature.

“There ya go, just how you like it,” I said, setting her large coffee on the table.

“Big and black?” She giggled.

“Actually, I was thinking more like sweet and rich… speaking of big and black, what do you think about me rehiring Martin?”

“I… I’m not sure. After what occurred, I am puzzled why you’ve made that decision.”

“I figured we’d have to confront what happened eventually… and until we do, I don’t think we can move forward. Allie, what do you envision our future to be?” I asked in a gentle voice.

“Well, I need to finish my nursing degree. After that, I’m not sure. I guess finding a job at a hospital or going back to my nutrition business at the gym. It depends on a lot of things.”

“That’s all pretty much a given. I was referring to us… like starting a family.”

“I don’t think I want kids right now. There are too many things I need to work out in my life—in our lives, before I start popping out rug-rats.”

“You mean things like what happened with Martin?” I bluntly asked.

She stared at me, motionless. I could see her processing my question. When she finally answered it was calm and measured. “Are you asking me if I still want to fuck him?”

“I wasn’t actually going to ask it like that, but… yeah. That’s an important question.”

“No... I don’t know. What if I do?”

“Well, that would certainly change things for sure. Big time.”

“Could you deal with that?”

“Honestly, I don’t really know. I was uncertain as to what I wanted when all this began, and I’m still not sure. It really depends on your desires.”

“When I saw how you reacted to my confession about Martin it was confusing. Instead of you raging and threatening divorce, you apologized to me. I was confused. I immediately processed that as you not caring enough to even get angry. You set me up, and now you want to pretend it never happened. What is it you want from me?”

I noticed that the place was starting to fill. I stood up and offered her my hand. “Let’s continue this discussion at home in private.”

*****
 

Fifteen minutes later, we were back in our place. On the way home I had made it clear I would do anything to repair the damage I’d done to our marriage. I didn’t actually go as far as including her being with other men, but I was pretty sure she understood that everything and anything could be on the table.

I knocked on the bedroom door frame, uncertain about our sleeping arrangements. Allie stepped out of the dressing area, wrapped in a towel with her hair still damp from the shower.

“Don’t just stand there gawking. Clean up and shave,” she said, picking up the hair dryer.

Just the thought of us getting some normalcy back in our lives made me smile. As hot water stung my cheeks, I thought how it had been over a month since I had shared a bed with my wife. When I got out of the bathroom, the bedroom was dark, lighted only by a single scented candle on the dresser. It took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust. I saw the bed was stripped of its covers, with Allie’s naked figure silhouetted on the sheets.

I started to speak, but she cut me off saying, “Shut up and come here…”

Needing no further prompting, I slipped into bed and pulled her to me, our bodies instantly molded together. There were times where the mood demanded haste, but this was not one of them. This moment was to be savored almost like a fine wine. I didn’t know why I was whispering to her; I guess it was almost a spiritual moment for me, something I definitely prayed for. As we kissed, her flavored lips tasted of mint as her tongue sought mine. She took charge, rolling on top. Her huge tits swayed above my face, tantalizing me to cup them as her mound ground against my stiffness.

“Ohhh, I missed this,” Allie breathed, her silky hair dangling in my face.

“Let me taste you,” I panted.

She responded by sliding up and straddling my face.

Damn, I miss this, I thought as my tongue found a life of its own, exploring her soaking wet folds.

I didn’t always like the taste of her juices, but I guess it was an acquired taste, and I now found my face saturated with her wetness. She was always easy to get off with a little stimulation on her clit. I thought how seldom it was that she orgasmed vaginally.

“Oh God, oh God. I missed this so much,” Allie cried out, holding onto the headboard. She proceeded to slide down my body until the tip of my cock was positioned at her entrance.

She always wanted to be in control, both in bed and out. It never really bothered me in the past, considering it to be nothing but a personal preference. However, lately she had all but rejected anything but female superior positions. I didn’t know if that was a critique on my lovemaking skills or just her personal preference. I decided to change things up and flipped her over, driving into her like I was spearing a fish. It felt unbelievable as I took her with authority.

When I rose up and looked into her face, she had an unmistakable look of indifference. The last thing I wanted was to turn her off, so I rolled back over, which seemed to please her greatly. Her hips resumed their rapid undulating motions as the sound of our squishy coupling and her cries of pleasure filled the room. I cupped her rocking breasts, quickening the pace. Sometimes it was as if she was on her own and I was nothing more than her human dildo.

“I’m almost there. Don’t stop. Keep going.” Allie moaned.

I was trying my hardest to hold off, but I was only human; it was welling up like an unstoppable force of nature.

I bet Martin probably wouldn’t blow his load so quickly.

I had never been so happy in my entire life as when I heard my wife screaming out her orgasm just before flooding her with my pent-up seed. She rolled off, gasping for air. I wanted to hug and cuddle her, but one of her idiosyncrasies was that she didn’t like to be held after sex. I knew if I gave her a few minutes to recover, we could snuggle, so I waited patiently.

“Can I get you something to drink?” I offered, turning on my nightstand light.

“Some white wine would be perfect.”

“Okay. Anything else?”

“Yeah, some more of what you just gave me,” she said with a grin.

I looked back at her propped up on her elbow and thought she was the most gorgeous woman on earth. Allie saw me staring.

“What?”

“I was just thinking how beautiful you are.”

“Thanks. You’re not bad to look at, either. On second thought… just forget the wine and bring me some tea. We have a lot to discuss and I want to be clear-headed.”

“Okay… two sugars or honey?”

“Surprise me and hurry back.”

*****

As I waited for the tea to steep, my mind was muddled with a million thoughts, mostly concerning my immediate future. I was trying to visualize what our marriage would be like if I didn’t take control of this mess. All I knew was that I’d do virtually anything to keep my wife, but what that would look like was up to her.

She was sitting up against the headboard, eyes closed with Hobo cuddled in her arms when I returned. I was careful not to disturb her as I set her tea on the nightstand; getting Hobo to move was another story. When I attempted to quietly move him, he let out a “Grrr-owl!” and swatted at me.

Allie’s eyes snapped open as she said with a laugh, “I think I finally found a guy who doesn’t want to share me.”

“Not funny!” I glared at Hobo. “Move, you useless ball of hair!”

He responded by twisting his head and rubbing it against Allie’s hand. Instead of arguing with a cat, I took her makeup table chair and sat next to the bed. “Okay, let’s talk.”

She sipped her honey-laced tea and waited for me.

I gathered myself and asked, “What are we going to do?”

“Good question. It really depends on what you want. We can’t ignore what has already happened. I think we might need outside counsel.”

“Didn’t you tell me you’re already talking to someone?”

“Not officially. I just briefly discussed our dilemma with my professor’s wife.”

“Do you trust her opinion?”

“I do… but you might want to meet her and find out for yourself.”

“Okay, I’m game. Now, move over. I’m coming to bed.”

Allie reached for Hobo and gently placed him on the floor. I could see by his turned back ears he wasn’t a happy kitty.

*****

A week later, we were sitting in Dr. DeeAnn’s waiting room for our first couples therapy meeting. I was curious to what she looked like. I always thought of female counselors to be older women with horn-rimmed glasses and a German accent. Actually, I didn’t know what to expect. When we were told to come into her office, I followed behind my wife. I was more than pleasantly surprised to discover that Dr. DeeAnn wasn’t at all what I’d imagined. Standing to greet me was a stunning woman that appeared to be in her late thirties or early forties. She wore a stylish hip-hugging gray skirt and white blouse that did nothing to hide her more than ample bosom. I could immediately notice her confidence in the way she carried herself.

“Jason? I’m DeeAnn.” She smiled. “It’s good to finally meet you. Your wife has totally understated you. Won’t you please take a seat?”

“Thank you. I can say the same about you,” I replied, offering my hand before sitting in the leather chair across her desk.

“You’ll find I’m fairly direct in my approach to counseling, so I’ll be upfront and tell you I’m somewhat familiar with your situation from my previous discussions with Allie. To begin, I would like to hear from each of you and what you hope to accomplish through counseling.”

Allie and I glanced at each other as Dee patiently waited for our reply. I always thought that patience was a great quality in a counselor, but wished she’d say something.

Finally, Allie said, “I’m here to try and save my marriage, if that’s possible.”

“What about you, Jason? Why did you decide to try therapy?”

“I’m here for the same thing, but I know that’s not going to be easy. I think we have much to work through, both individually and as a couple.”

“Can you elaborate?” Dr. DeeAnn asked, writing down a note on her legal pad.

“Well, there are some things in my past I’ve struggled with, even before I met Allie.”

“Things like sharing me like a common whore?”

“You’ll have your turn, Allie,” DeeAnn interjected. “Let him finish.”

My wife crossed her arms on her chest in disgust and sagged back in her chair, glaring at me.

“Go ahead, Jason. Continue,” Dee prompted.

“These feelings have little to do with Allie. I’ve had them long before I ever met her.”

“Exactly what are those feelings?”

“It’s something that’s existed since my first real girlfriend in high school. Her name was Becky. I met her in my freshman year and we quickly became an item. She wasn’t allowed to date, so our relationship never progressed beyond kissing and holding hands. One day, I saw her with a guy that was a senior… they were making out in his car in the school parking lot.”

“That must have hurt you. What did you do?”

“Rather than confront them, I peaked in the back window at her giving him a hand job. We eventually broke up and I never did tell her about witnessing the incident in the parking lot.”

“How did you react to catching her in the act?”

“I’m embarrassed to say… I found it exciting.”

Allie looked angered and half-shouted, “I’m not some high school bimbo! I’m your wife.”

“You’ll have your turn,” Dee sternly stated. “Let him finish. Jason, it says here your parents had divorced but remarried. While they were separated, whom did you live with?”

“I lived with Mom—brother lived with dad. It was a tough time for our family.”

“Did you miss not having male influence in your life?”

“Not really. I still saw my dad occasionally and my mom had lots of… well… boyfriends. Some stayed longer than others, but none were what you would call father figures.”

“How did you feel about that?”

“I can’t lie, it was tough, as you might imagine. One day my life seemed normal, and the next day my world had flipped upside down. When my dad left us for some bimbo half his age, my mom kinda freaked out and started going out with virtually any guy that paid her a compliment. She’d bring home some of the biggest losers you could ever imagine. I had to listen to them grunting and groaning as they pounded my mother in the next room.”

“Interesting. How did that make you feel?”

“How the hell do you think I felt hearing my mother degrade herself like that?” I angrily replied. “I really don’t care to discuss this any longer. This has no bearing on my present situation—it’s all psycho-babble bullshit.” I stood up, preparing to leave.

Allie grabbed my shirt and said, “Just like you to run… if you leave, keep on going and don’t come back.”

I could tell she was serious, so I settled back down in my chair, disgruntled. I was confronted with the possibility that my twisted history I had tried so hard to forget might have had some influence on my marriage and future.

Dr. Dee turned to Allie and asked, “How much of this did you know?”

“Not much. Jason has always been very guarded about his past. We seldom visit with his folks, and when we do there is always a feeling of extreme discomfort—unlike my family… they’re all very open. No tension.”

I interrupted this time and said, “Yeah, your dad openly tells me how his darling daughter made a huge mistake marrying below her station.”

“Well, he doesn’t pretend, does he?” Allie countered.

“Hold on, guys, remember what I told you about being civil?” Dee interrupted us. “Allie, you have the floor. Explain your thoughts about why you’re in this situation.”

“I don’t know why the only man I have ever loved has a fantasy about sharing me sexually with other men. In my opinion, that is sick,” she answered, glaring at me.

“Wait a minute,” I said. “I admit my part in this, but you didn’t exactly put up a lot of resistance to Martin’s advances. Don’t pretend we haven’t role played in the past pretending I was someone else while we screwed.”

Allie looked away, avoiding eye contact. It was clear I had struck a nerve. I considered bringing up her masturbation session I had witnessed, where she had called out Martin’s name; but I decided to keep quiet, knowing that would definitely strike a fatal blow to our marriage that was already on life support.

“Have either of you considered the possibility that you’ve both been fantasizing about the same thing?”

I looked at Allie as she met my gaze with a blank stare.

“Just what are you suggesting?” I asked.

“I’m offering an alternative thought that it might be a shared desire. There are countless couples that have opened their relationship in that way.”

Allie and I were speechless.

“After all that happened, do you still love each other?”

I knew that was a redundant question, so I answered for both of us, “Of course we do.”

Allie nodded in agreement.

I couldn’t help but ask Dr. Dee, “From what Allie shared with me, aren’t you in an open marriage yourself?”

“We’re not here to talk about my marriage, Jason, we’re here to discuss yours. No two marriages are the same. I think we’ve gone as far as we can on this first session. I have some homework for you both. Read this pamphlet before our next meeting and answer the questions separately. Don’t share your answers with each other.” She instructed, handing us each a copy.

*****

I wish I could say everything at work was running like clockwork, but not quite. Allie and Denny were worse than two siblings competing for attention. In this case, it was about their individual authority at a very demanding gym. We were busting at the seams with new members. I couldn’t help but notice how their rivalry had extended to much more than just business stuff; both Allie and Denny were attention whores. I had the duty of telling each one privately to tone down their attire. It almost seemed like we were back at Church camp, all those years ago.

Every time I confronted them, their reply was always the same: “As soon as she does, I will.”

The percentage of new members were mostly males, outnumbering the females: three to one. I couldn’t say for sure but having two highly developed hotties running around the gym dressed in spandex without underwear might have had something to do with that.

Martin and I were slowly regaining our working relationship, but it wasn’t easy to forget how my wife had been screaming out his name while shoving a foot-long dildo up herself. I still was undecided whether or not to bring up that incident during our counseling session. Allie’s midterms had made it impossible to meet with Dr. DeeAnn until this afternoon at 4 PM.

I signaled to Martin that we needed to talk. He muttered something to his client and quickly jogged over.

“What’s up?”

“Could you and Denny close up? Allie and I have an appointment.”

“Sure, no problem. How’s that going?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your therapy.”

“Who told you we were in therapy?”

“That little minx you hired told me about you and Allie.”

“So, you and Denny are discussing us?”

“Come on, it’s pretty obvious to everyone that something is not right between you guys—and she asked me if I knew anything. I didn’t tell her I knew, but I’ll warn you now, that girl has the hots for you bad, really bad.”

“Denny?” I was genuinely shocked. “No way.”

“Jason, you can’t be that oblivious to the way she looks at you. Anyway… I just thought you should know.”

Allie would have flipped out if she had eavesdropped on this conversation.

*****

The drive to our appointment was in virtual silence. I had read the pamphlet and answered the questions as honestly as I could, but the whole time I was wondering what my wife’s answers would be. We glanced at each other, though neither one of us said anything. It was like we were on our way to witness an execution, not attend a counseling session.

“I’m surprised you even wanted to do this.” Allie broke the silence. “What made you change your mind?”

“Are you kidding? I’d do anything to save our marriage, you know that.”

“Me too,” she wistfully sighed.

There was no one in the waiting room when we finally arrived. I wondered if we had got the day wrong. The office was unlocked, so I took the liberty to open Dr. DeeAnn’s door; she was sitting at her desk, looking through her laptop when she saw me.

“Come on in and have a seat. Sorry I’m running late.”

Allie dropped into the overstuffed office chair without saying anything. I pulled my chair closer to hers before sitting. Dr. Dee seemed engrossed in whatever she was looking at on her laptop, so I just quietly sat there waiting. She was gorgeous by any standard for a woman her age. I wondered if those large full breasts had been surgically enhanced before looking away, not wanting to be caught checking her out.

“Thank you for your patience, but I was downloading some things that might be helpful for you. Now… did you manage to fill out the brochure I gave you?” she asked, holding out her hand.

We both handed her our pamphlets.

“What did you did think?”

Allie glanced at me before saying, “It was difficult.”

“And what about you, Jason?”

“I agree. It was difficult. It made me think about things that I avoided most of my life.”

“That was the purpose.” Dee smiled sympathetically. “Our lives are not set in stone, but fluid and evolving. Now I want you both to look at this video while I review your booklets.” She turned the large laptop screen toward us.

Initially, it looked like a vacation promotion video that had clips of everything from cruise ships to island resorts. The video was titled, “For the Discerning Couple.” It went on to show listings of clubs by cities. It quickly occurred to me that these were all hedonistic clubs and activities. I looked at Allie’s expression and she appeared as confused as I was. Dee was still engrossed with reading our surveys, so I remained quiet and continued to view the website. When I passed one of the ads for an island resort, Allie brought it back, zooming in on the photo promotions. The photo she highlighted showed an attractive white couple, walking with a very muscular black guy; the woman was holding hands with him. Allie chuckled, causing Dee to look up.

“Almost done,” she said. “It appears we have a lot to discuss.” Dee highlighted something on one of our booklets.

When she finally finished, she said, “I found it very interesting that almost all your answers were the same, particularly the ones defining love and desires. What did you think about the video?”

“Why did you have us look at this website?” Allie asked.

“I was showing you some alternative lifestyles I thought you might find intriguing, but we’ll get back to that later. Right now, I want to discuss your answers, if that’s all right with you?”

We looked at each other and nodded in unison.

“I found several things extremely interesting. Jason, your answer about how you view your future as a couple said that you’re willing to stretch your horizons, as long as it is with your wife. Allie, you said that you’re wanting to try new things but only with Jason’s approval. You both added that you thought life was an adventure with endless possibilities. Do either of you want to comment or expand on your statement?”

Allie seemed nervous as she said, “I was saying that I think our story has yet to be written.”

“Under the subject of personal goals, you both included you’d eventually want to have children… Jason, do you really want four?”

“Four?” Allie nearly choked out. “No fucking way!” she exclaimed, punching my shoulder.

Dr. Dee then broached another subject by asking, “Is it all right if we talk about your individual fantasies?”

Allie looked at me with uncertainty. After a few moments of silence, I answered, “I suppose that’s one of the things we need to talk about.”

Dee returned our surveys and said, “I think it’s more effective if you read your own replies. Jason, if you don’t mind going first?”

“Umm, it asks: What are your sexual fantasies both long term and current? I wrote that I was open to new things between us that possibly included others. My long-term goal is to invigorate our marriage to greater heights through new experiences. My current goal is to strengthen our relationship with greater trust and openness.”

“Very interesting, Jason. That was fairly nondescriptive. I’ve got a feeling Allie’s answers are going to be more forthright.” She paused and smiled at my wife. “Your turn. You read it aloud.”

“I’m not sure how you’re going to take this, but here goes. Jason, I love you, but I feel like we’re in a rut sexually. Our lovemaking is like Groundhog Day. You’re undoubtedly the most attractive guy I’ve ever met, but I think you lack genuine creativity and spontaneity. You’re older than me and supposed to be more experienced, I just—”

“What exactly do you want from me?” I interrupted.

“What do I want? Everything! Or at least more than now. There are long periods where you don’t even touch me. It makes me wonder if you even want me. I have men hitting on me daily, telling me how hot I am, but you don’t give me a fraction of the attention these strangers do,” Allie said, her eyes tearing up. “I know it’s difficult to hear, but I’m being honest.”

I was unable to speak after hearing her confession. Fortunately, Dee saw my discomfort and took control of the conversation.

“That’s enough for today. Our time is almost up. Will I be seeing you Monday?”

“You bet!” Allie answered in a millisecond. They both looked at me for my reply. I nodded, feeling miserable.

*****

On the way home I was waiting for Allie to continue roasting me further, but she was silent.

“Did you really mean all those things?” I asked.

“What do you think?”

“I think… I’m embarrassed I don’t seem to satisfy you.”

“I wasn’t saying you don’t satisfy me; you do… but what if I want more?”

“I don’t follow what you’re saying.”

“Let me ask you this: why is it usually me who initiates our love-making?”

“I wasn’t aware you felt that way. If that’s true, it’s not that I don’t find you sexy, it’s probably because I’m just dog tired or I’m nonassertive by nature.”

“You’ve never really been passionate about anything but that damn gym since I’ve known you. Just look at how you reacted to the whole situation with Martin. I expected you to beat him to a bloody pulp, but you’re so damn passive, you even hired him back.”

She was right.

“Allie, I’m sorry.”

“Stop it! Stop apologizing! Don’t you see how wimpy that is? Any other husband would be furious and at least tell me what a cheating whore I was. But no, not you. You’re a monster of a man physically, but I think inside you’re a timid little boy.”

“I… I’m—"

“Sorry?” She scoffed. “Please...”

I was extremely embarrassed being dressed down by my wife. All through the drive I said nothing and let her vent. I half listened to her tirade but was caught in my own thoughts. I knew there was some validity to her accusations, but she misunderstood my desire to avoid confrontation as weakness. My childhood had been filled with one violent argument after another. After our years together, I couldn’t remember a single argument. My opinion was that peace and harmony is more important than being right.

“Answer me, Jason! Dammit, are you even listening to me?”

“Sorry… what was the question?”

“Are you serious? I just asked what you thought about that video Dee showed us?”

“It seemed like an advertisement for hedonism featuring swingers’ resorts. Does that interest you?”

As we pulled into the driveway, she still hadn’t answered my question. All she said was, “We’ll discuss that later.”

*****

As soon as we entered the house, Hobo started whining for his dinner. Allie opened a can of tuna while he rubbed himself against her leg. She glared at me, still fuming. I decided to take action as I walked toward her. A look of bewilderment was on her face as I drew her close and kissed her deeply, squeezing her tight. Then, I lifted her up, throwing her over my shoulder before carrying her to the bedroom.

“What the hell are you doing?” she screamed.

“Taking charge.”

Allie half-heartedly kicked and complained, telling me to stop as I carried her up the stairs. I fully intended to reinsert myself as the dominate force in our relationship, after all she had shared in therapy.

*****

When I woke the next morning, the sun was streaming in through a crack in the curtains. Allie was wrapped around me like an octopus. I smiled, remembering last night and our marathon of sex. I thought about peeling myself from her ensnarement and getting ready for work but decided to savor the feeling of her breasts pressed against my back. Work would have to wait. Just as I drifted off, my morning nemesis (alarm clock) blasted loud enough to raise the dead. I swatted at it but only accomplished knocking over my empty wine glass.

Allie rolled away mumbling something unintelligible as I drug myself out of bed and staggered toward the shower, reeking of sex. I wasn’t sure about her schedule, so I let her sleep. As the hot water streamed off my back, I smiled when I recalled the night prior and how she had responded to my unusual aggression.

After dressing in my workout shorts and tank top, I threw on one of my favorite Hawaiian shirts. Then, I left a note on the counter saying I’d see her later and to not forget to shut off the AC.

*****

When I entered our parking lot, it was full, with cars parked down the street. Martin was finishing up his advanced aerobics class and Denny was busy with her hot yoga class. I decided to take the opportunity to do my workout routine that had been interrupted by all this drama. Funny how things take root in your mind. The harder you try to erase those thoughts, the more prominent they become.

As I powdered my hands, getting ready to bench press, I considered what my life would look like now if Martin had actually fucked Allie. Would I just be another one of Martin’s cuckolds? I wondered, almost shuddering.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Denny’s voice startled me.

I turned to answer, but the sight of her sweat-soaked spandex and prominent camel-toe made me pause. My prolonged gaze didn’t go unnoticed, as she gave me one of those smiles that slightly curled at the corner of her lips.

“My thoughts?” I said, snapping out of it. “You don’t wanna know.”

“Awww, boss… Don’t worry… I won’t tell.” She spun around, walking away with a little extra sway of her hips.

*****

Back in my office I was thinking about what Dr. DeeAnn had said and the website she had shown us. My curiosity got the best of me as I logged on to the opening introductory page. There were numerous selections to choose from—most were beach resorts, but we already lived at the beach. Then, something caught my eyes: “All Inclusive Ski Vacation.” I clicked on the link and read the opening description. It went on to say that the package included ski instructions for the novice, to more experienced skiers. When I clicked on the photos, most of them were of hard-bodied instructors, posing in bikinis and briefs (mostly in the hot tub). However, there were enough scenes of actual skiing to legitimize the ski school introduction. It all had a sinful feel about it. Priced at 20k per person, I thought it was a bit expensive—but it did include private airfare.

Allie and I hadn’t been on a proper vacation since our honeymoon. I knew if I booked it without getting her permission, I’d be in deep shit. But the longer I considered it, the more I liked the idea, so I booked our reservation. In my defense, it did have a 24-hour cancellation policy.

Shortly after, I called my wife. On the fifth ring, she picked up and said in a groggy voice, “This better be good, buster.”

“Remember how you’ve been saying we need a vacation?”

“Yeah… what are you suggesting?”

“You’ve got two days to go shopping. We’re booked for a stay in an Aspen Resort.”

There was nothing but cricket chirping silence.

“You still there?”

“You booked a vacation without asking me? What the fuck were you thinking?”

“Well… I was thinking how hot you’d look in a skintight ski outfit and string bikini.”

“Jason, we can’t—”

“Just trust me on this, please? We need a holiday, Allie. You need it. I need it. It’s been years.”

There was a long pause before she sighed and said, “You’d better increase my credit card limit. I need to go shopping.”