BDSM is overrated.

BDSM is overrated.

Because it's fictional enslavement.

A guy sends a lady a message stating that she needs his dick in her wet hole?

Is that fiction worth anything?

Is that kind of fiction good for a family atmosphere?

One person giving voluntary control to another, via the safety of a safety word?

Then comes the cold wardrobe...

A zipper across the lips is supposed to be sexy I guess?

Yes, BDSM is overrated.

Quote by InkandArt
One person giving voluntary control to another, via the safety of a safety word?

There are whole worlds inside that one little interaction.

Quote by InkandArt

BDSM is overrated.

Because it's fictional enslavement.

These are very strong words. I'm curious as to what happened to cause such a reaction.

Is every BDSM/D/s relationship good? No, absolutely not, but neither is every "vanilla" or "traditional" relationship.

I'm not sure how you mean it's overrated by the examples you gave. Please don't think I'm trying to argue or convince you to try it, but as someone who has been in this lifestyle for a good chunk of their life, I disagree with you. I do agree that some things are sensationalized and false in the media. Not every Dom/Master/D is a millionaire with emotional damage.

A good family atmosphere? I've managed to be a great submissive and a fantastic mother. I raised two highly functioning adults that I genuinely like.

There is no enslavement with true BDSM unless that is your kink, which in that case, we don't kink shame people. As for me, I'm free to go anytime I want to. And I'm sure you've heard, but may not believe, in a healthy relationship the sub has the majority of the power. They choose to stay or go.

If a Dom sends his sub that he needs to get his dick wet is no different than any other man telling his wife he wants her. It might not be your way, but it doesn't make it wrong. If he is saying that to his sub and she's staying with him, chances are she likes it. I'm a sub and I say some very naughty things to my Dom at times.

A zipper across the lips? Above or below? That's not my thing but to each their own. I find ball gags to be sexy at the right moment, but they are a hard no for me so I never use one.

Cold wardrobe? Is there something specific? I'm not sure wardrobe can be seen as bad. If my Dom wants me to wear nothing but my pearl necklace then how is that any different than a husband stripping his wife bare or having her wear a sexy bit of lingerie? Do you mean metal? I admit, that metal can get very cold, but I love the feel of cold glass and metal against my skin. That's kind of my thing. 😈

There are rules when it comes to BDSM. One of the number one rules collectively across the board is your submissive must feel safe. If they don't feel safe with you then it slips into the realm of abuse and that's not reserved for BDSM is it? Plenty of good "normal" spouses/partners are being beaten on by someone they were supposed to trust but can't.

My Dom is someone that I trust completely. Again, every relationship is different. I feel so safe and confident in him as my Dom, my partner, and my friend that all things are possible. I am so secure in our connection that I will do things with him without hesitation and I will allow him to do things that I have never let anyone else do. Why? Because I trust him to know me and my body. To listen to me and my safe word. Trust and respect.

Trust and respect are something you specifically seem to not see or know about in terms of BDSM. This is a shame. More people should highlight that part in their stories.

Again, I'm not trying to convince you to give it a go because it's not for everyone. I know and respect that. Just know that BDSM-D/s is a big world with a lot of amazing things in it. Some are good, some not so good, same as every other relationship, but let's not generalize or kink shame because you've had a bad run-in with it.

Sure, the 50 Shades stuff is BS. If that's what you are referencing here, I'm on board- overrated. But the real stuff (at least the BDS part as I have no real M experience)...

Quote by MollyDoll

My Dom is someone that I trust completely. Again, every relationship is different. I feel so safe and confident in him as my Dom, my partner, and my friend that all things are possible. I am so secure in our connection that I will do things with him without hesitation and I will allow him to do things that I have never let anyone else do. Why? Because I trust him to know me and my body. To listen to me and my safe word. Trust and respect.

Trust and respect are something you specifically seem to not see or know about in terms of BDSM. This is a shame. More people should highlight that part in their stories.

Molly, per usual, eloquently hit the nail on the head. D/s is a partnership built on trust. Partners, together, decide the limits and the kinks within those limits. It's much more than just a word- one that in the right partnership is used rarely if at all- because the trust binds them. A good D worries about protecting the bond, the trust that was gifted to them by the partner, a gift to be truly cherished. That's the real stuff that I hope everyone, that is inclined to try it with the right partner, gets to experience. Seems Molly is one of the lucky ones to have had these experiences.

Quote by Ensorceled

There are whole worlds inside that one little interaction.

Indeed, Ensorceled. The mainstream perception of D/s is overblown and overrated. That should not taint those that have experienced what it truly can be for both sides of the coin.

I enjoyed the piece for the thought provoking nature of it and the discussion that has subsequently stemmed from it InkandArt. You've done something when you elicited quite the response from 2 of the best writers on the site.

Quote by leftlingula

Seems Molly is one of the lucky ones to have had these experiences.

Don't ever doubt that. 😇

I enjoyed the piece for the thought provoking nature of it and the discussion that has subsequently stemmed from it InkandArt. You've done something when you elicited quite the response from 2 of the best writers on the site.

I agree that it was thought-provoking.

Also, flatter. You're a pretty fantastic writer yourself. Please excuse the shameless plug, if y'all haven't read Leftlingula or Ensorceled you're missing out.

I always think it’s interesting how BDSM is always portrayed as kind of doom-ish. I think the dungeon theme makes it seem like everybody doing it is all serious and miserable.

While trust and respect are important points it’s nothing like enslavement. Sex is fun, it’s hot as hell to be dominated and usually it involves a fair bit of giggles and weird bruises. How could partners doing dirty things together with consent and having a great time possibly be overrated?

BDSM is not one size fits all. All one needs to do to understand that is to take a look at the current story competition to understand that. For those of you who haven’t checked out the stories, I’ve included the link. (And it would be a huge ego boost if you’d read and like my story, Alisha Unleashed if you’re so inclined. Please and thank you! )

https://www.lushstories.com/competitions/unleashed

I have no interest in BDSM myself. I see sex as an act of affection between two equals. To me, dominance and submission (let alone pain or punishment of all but the mildest kind) violate that, and I usually find unequal power dynamics profoundly unsexy, an active turnoff. I don’t easily relate to what people often do in that category.

But just because I’m turned off by someone else’s kinks doesn’t mean I need to judge them and call it wrong. And from what I’ve seen, in most cases it really isn’t “enslavement” of any kind when people enter into this voluntarily.

It’s simple reality that asymmetric power is a turnon for a lot of people, and this site is about people exploring their fantasies, which often they never plan to see through. I’m sure a lot of people are reading BDSM stories for catharsis, and it may actually help them deal with certain thoughts and make them better people.

I’m sure almost everyone who comes in here finds some of the categories to be turnoffs. Heaven knows the category I mostly write in (bisexual) is a pretty heavy turnoff to a lot of people. Let he who can write a story that is super sexy, but offends absolutely no one, cast the first stone.

Being a Dominant has MANY different facets. Sure there ar those that practice it for the pain, but there is a softer side that allows the Dom to pleasure his sub when his/her trust is placed willinly in thier Dominant. If done well its a growing evolving partnership of exploration, pleasure and togetherness. Its so much more then the Dominant ordering his slave around. Every dynamic is different, but the commonality of all is the trust they have in one another.

Quote by InkandArt

BDSM is overrated.

Because it's fictional enslavement.

A guy sends a lady a message stating that she needs his dick in her wet hole?

Is that fiction worth anything?

Is that kind of fiction good for a family atmosphere?

One person giving voluntary control to another, via the safety of a safety word?

Then comes the cold wardrobe...

A zipper across the lips is supposed to be sexy I guess?

Yes, BDSM is overrated.

um... most erotica is not intended for sitting around with the family and enjoying. i mean, what are we doing, using it for bedtime stories?

Quote by sprite

um... most erotica is not intended for sitting around with the family and enjoying. i mean, what are we doing, using it for bedtime stories?

😳