About HeraTeleia


Mum, aunt, sister, nurse, churchgoing United Methodist, writer of porn. In that order.

Paradise, British Columbia , Canada
Reading, reading, reading, and also, reading. Oh, and shooting (Glock pistols), counted cross-stitch, knitting, gardening (particularly working on water gardens and raised beds), and floristry.
Favorite Books:
Through The Brazilian Wilderness; A Yellow Raft In Blue Water; Into Thin Air; Dominion; Passage To Juneau; Vox; U & I; Dead Wake: The Last Crossing of the Lusitania; Unbroken; A Widow For One Year; A Confederacy of Dunces; Lincoln; Catch-22; Schindler's List; Hitler's Willing Executioners: Ordinary Germans and the Holocaust; (misconceptions); Indian Killer; Under The Banner Of Heaven; 1861: The Civil War Awakening; God Is Not Great; The Hunt For Red October; Cadillac Desert; the entire Harry Potter series....the list goes on, and on, and on.
Favorite Authors:
Krakauer, Raban, Alexie, Dorris, Roosevelt, Ondaatje, Doig, Rowling, Erik Larson, Nicholson Baker, Naomi Wolf, Hitchens, Clancy, Kearns Goodwin...and again, the list goes on, and on, and on.
Favorite Movies:
The Harry Potter movies; The Hunt For Red October; Taken; Ocean's Eleven; Field of Dreams; Bull Durham; Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them; Run Silent, Run Deep; Crimson Tide; Indiana Jones and The Lost Ark; Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade; The Killing Fields; Hotel Rwanda; Major League (yes, really); Zodiac; All The President's Men; The English Patient...not much of a moviegoer but these round out my list of movies I can see over and over again.
Favourite TV Shows:
NCIS and its various spin-offs, anything news-related.
Favorite Music:
Widely varied taste in music...pretty much everything but metal.


Date Joined:
25 Jan 2014
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Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 24 Jun 2017 23:33

Nick, so happy for you. Watching for it to appear on the home page.

So...I want to make an audio of me reading one of my stories. It'll probably be "My Favourite Word", a Flash piece, my first submitted piece, and (to make it a trifecta) my first RR recipient.

Could someone tell me how to do it, and more specifically, can I use my iPhone 6s? Gav has promised to tinker with the audio (I have a very soft voice that can run to the heavily accented at times), I just need to figure out how to do the recording bit. Figured that one of the denizens of Bill's Bar 'N Strip (we still have that pole up, right?) might have some tips.

Yah, I'm only doing it for the badge--although giving Gav a headache isn't far behind in motive. Speaking of, please keep your thoughts and prayers with him--his home suffered some substantial flooding and with assorted other things going on in his life, he had a bit of a rough week last week.

Norman update: My veterinarian of 17 years is out of town this week, and Norman, quite fortuitously, is somehow moving around better today. Which means I can wait until Dr. Wilcock is back in the office--for some reason, it's crazy important to me that Norman pass from this world with his own veterinarian at his side. I'll be there, too.

Topic: What are you reading?
Posted: 24 Jun 2017 20:09

Grunt , by the amazing Mary Roach.



James Ellroy's "The Black Dahlia". Yet again. For about the third time this year... (yeah, some might call it an addiction, but what are you gonna do?)

Oddly, Ellroy's L.A. Quartet (or Cycle) is one of the very few, maybe the only, set of signed first edition/first printing fiction in a series form that I own. I read "The Black Dahlia" novel, in a paperback version from the library, about ten years ago. Was hooked. Checked out "White Jazz", "L.A. Confidential", and "The Big Nowhere" quickly thereafter.

It took me about five years, but now I have all four, 1st/1st/signed and all in F/VF condition. "The Black Dahlia" is still my favourite, though.

Topic: Recreational Drugs
Posted: 24 Jun 2017 17:04

I have never partaken of anything interesting, not even marijuana, probably to my own detriment. Not really a conscious decision, just never happened, and by the time I had the time and space to partake, it really wasn't something I was interested in doing.

Topic: 8 Million Views
Posted: 24 Jun 2017 10:33

Very nice. And astonishing. Congratulations.

Topic: How often do you submit a story, & how long was your worst writers block?
Posted: 23 Jun 2017 21:42

How often? 15 stories submitted in 3 1/2 years...which averages out to a little more than once every three months. That said, I tend to go long stretches without submitting anything--it's not writer's block, it's that life interferes.

I hadn't submitted anything at all this year before submitting "Blood Lust" ~10 days ago, and then in quick succession, Mike (OceanRunner) and I finished and I submitted "Losing It". So for those keeping track at home, nothing for over six months, and then two stories submitted and posted within a week of each other.

"Losing It" coming hard on the heels of "Blood Lust" was just a coincidence of timing--Mike and I had been kicking the story lackadaisically back and forth since probably March, and then I had two days in a row off, and we buckled down (tied up?) and finished the story out.

Like Methilda, I generally have several unfinished stories kicking around in my Google Drive. Most will be left to wither and die, or to wander off into the woods to be eaten by bears. It is what it is. For those on Lush who have the patience to actually schedule out time to sit down and write, I have great admiration--I'm more of the "Okay, so I have 73 minutes before the casserole is done, let's get this knocked out" sort of writer.

Hell, I'm not even a writer. I'm a mum and a nurse who just happens to be blessed with a filthy, dirty mind and some kind of skill (apparently) at writing what I know is, at the end of the day, just wank material. Literary porn.

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 Jun 2017 09:33

Coffee, please. Working.

Norman is going progressively, and rapidly, downhill. Norman being my beloved neutered male Great Pyrenees (he makes a cameo, along with Lily, my other Pyr, in "Neighbours"). He came up lame on his L rear a few weeks ago, was dx'd with osteosarcoma (bone cancer--it's what gets the giant breeds) and I made the decision to go with palliative care instead of therapeutic (chemo, radiation, etc.) care. He's roughly nine years old, and Pyrs just don't live much past 10-12 years, if you're lucky.

Anyway. Thought, somehow, that I'd have him comfortable and happy for at least a year. No. This morning he could barely get up to go outside. He just...it's heartbreaking. 165 lbs. of absolute devotion and he's having difficulty navigating the small distance from the patio to the yard. Pyrs aren't a breed to show pain, so for him to be visibly compromised--it means that he's absolutely racked.

The objective part of me knows that as a pet owner, the one final grace I can give him is a peaceful exit from this world. The subjective part of me is just a fucked up mess of denial and sadness and everything else. I don't think I can handle one more heavy urn on the bookcase.

Topic: Sexless marriage
Posted: 23 Jun 2017 08:05

I'm also a curvy lady and I'm pretty positive that most men are not interested in curvy women...

No. Just...no. I am the very definition of "curvy", and last I checked, guys were very into the heavy breasts, wide hips and ample ass thing. Don't internalize whatever messages you may be receiving from your husband/the media/whatever. You are beautiful.

Topic: Australia's "Underpants Gnomes" Gun Ban
Posted: 23 Jun 2017 07:41

In your 3rd paragraph you state you take issue with drawing and holding. The time I drew my gun the teens threatening to rob me and carjack my SUV turned and ran as soon as they saw the gun. If I would have shot them running away, then I go to prison. The situation was neutralized as soon as they turned and ran. I'm glade I did not need to shoot any of them, but I would not have let them get close enough to take my gun before I started shooting. At least my first shot would have been in the ground near their feet.

You stating, if you draw you fire until empty then reload and fire until empty or the situation is neutralized, tells me you don't know what you are talking about. You are the one pounding on your chest. And you are the stupid one, if you believe you would give up your life and everything in you home or car before taking the life of a worthless piece of garbage the would break into your home to steal your belongings and kill you.


And again, you miss my point. You were willing to draw to defend what, at the end of the day, was just stuff . I am not willing to draw or fire to protect stuff . In the same situation, I would not have drawn. Period, full stop.

Hand over purse, hand over keys, walk away, call insurance agent.

If you think me stupid for not being willing to take a life (even that of a "worthless piece of garbage") over material things, well, you go right on ahead with that, Brandie. Bless your heart.

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 22 Jun 2017 23:58

Oh, btw, anyone who manages to include the dessication of coconut in their entry will be a hero in my eyes. Just sayin'. <img src="/forum/images/emoticons/regaeman.gif" alt="Regaeman Man">

Here I was trying to figure out how to make my hardcore entry even more hardcore, and you just hand me "desiccated coconut meat". I love you, H. I think I'll sprinkle a bit across the subject's breasts, to be mixed with other things.

Topic: Australia's "Underpants Gnomes" Gun Ban
Posted: 22 Jun 2017 23:06

I left this morning for work with this thread in a fairly reasonable place, aside from Seax's presumption that somehow, a person who chooses to not carry a firearm on them at all times is choosing to be a victim. Now I come home to find that it's devolved into the usual Trump Good!/Trump Bad! CF.

Some points about me. One, IMTMFA pretty much sums it up for me with regards to the current placeholder seated (sometimes--when Bannon isn't there) behind the Resolute Desk. Two, I shoot often, and I shoot well. Three, I teach, on occasion (~2-3 times/year) intermediate to advanced level defencive pistol technique.

Seax, NOLA, et al., I take issue with the idea of "drawing and holding". You do not threaten. You do not brandish. You give a verbal command, you give a second--if possible--verbal command, but if you draw, you fire until slide lock requiring speed load, and then you continue to fire until slide lock and/or the threat is neutralised. This feeling that you're magically safe just because you're carrying is just stupidness.

I (of course) have a CCP permit, I throw hundreds or thousands of rounds downrange in practice alone every month, but do I carry? No. I carry rarely, perhaps ~6-8 times/year. I don't need to, and because of my profession, am not able to, at any rate. Situational awareness, physical presence and skills with de-escalation go a lot further than drawing and holding ever will.

All drawing and holding (brandishing) does is set you up to have your firearm wrested from your control. For all of those cited "success" stories, I can think of a million ways in which those stories could have gone horribly wrong.

Maybe if you'd had my first instructor...maybe then you'd think differently. He always said that if I were to draw, I'd better be damn sure of my target, my sighting, and my cartridge load, because behind my target (the Bad Guy) was a nun, and behind that nun, was a pregnant woman pushing an infant in a stroller. His way of driving home the message that the decision to draw--the decision to carry at all--should never be made lightly.

I am just tired of all of the chest thumping about the need for guns. Yes, I am a staunch defender of the 2A, but honestly, people who casually buy a handgun without ever taking a class or working to continually improve their knowledge and skill and then lazily cite cute statistics provided (so handily all positive!) by the NRA really do make it more difficult by the day to be what I am--a shooter. A competitor. A teacher. I do not need to brag about my abilities or how much of a badass I am to feel good and safe, and truly, I feel sorry for those of you who do.

FTR, there is absolutely nothing material in my house (or car) that is worth taking a human life over. Absolutely nothing. Even my own life, alone, is not worth taking another's life over. You value things differently, Seax and NOLA and fellow travellers, and that is fine, but honestly, you're not doing much for those of us who grow weary of your bravado.

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