Backfiring New Year’s Resolutions Writing Challenge for 500 Coins ($50)

Cum one, cum all to enter the Backfiring New Year’s Resolutions writing challenge while the story submit is on pause.

Write a 75-word story to post in this forum about a New Year’s Resolution that backfired. Be funny or scary or maybe it backfired in the best way possible. Just hit the theme, writers!

Rules:

1. All Lush site rules apply

2. Max 75 words

3. Must be about a New Year’s resolution that didn’t go as planned

4. Must be erotic.

5. No IF or Poetry

6. Have Fun!

Contest begins Dec 30th and ends at midnight January 9 Eastern Standard Time. One winner will be picked and awarded 375 coins ($37.50)

Edit: thanks to a second generous Lushie, the prize has been upped from 375 Lush coins to 500!!! :worship:

I don’t know who will judge yet, but it won’t be me. :)

All right, Kimmi. Let me get right on it.

Quote by Meagananne1986

All right, Kimmi. Let me get right on it.

Yay!

I turned 18 in November, still in high school.

My boyfriend began pressuring me to have sex with him. 

“No, I’m not sleeping with you.  Just stop.”  He didn’t. 

I made a New Year’s resolution to keep my virginity until I was ready.

“Let me dry hump you then.  I promise, I won’t fuck you.”

Lying naked together, he came all over my vulva.

“Mom, Dad --- I’m pregnant.”

“Any resolution,” my horny girlfriend offered on New Year’s Day.

“I resolve a year of unlimited anal sex,” I declared, something denied for years.

“Agreed, but on my terms.”

“Agreed.”

She stripped us. My massive cock hardened, readied for her tiny virgin ass.

She bent me over the table, cuffing my wrists and ankles wide. Then came her strap-on.

“Wait. No! Your ass!”

“My terms,” she repeated.

The doorbell rang for the Rose Bowl party.

Quote by KimmiBeGood

Cum one, cum all to enter the Backfiring New Year’s Resolutions writing challenge while the story submit is on pause.

Write a 75-word story to post in this forum about a New Year’s Resolution that backfired. Be funny or scary or maybe it backfired in the best way possible. Just hit the theme, writers!

Rules:

1. All Lush site rules apply

2. Max 75 words

3. Must be about a New Year’s resolution that didn’t go as planned

4. Must be erotic.

5. No IF or Poetry

6. Have Fun!

Contest begins Dec 30th and ends at midnight January 9 Eastern Standard Time. One winner will be picked and awarded 375 coins ($37.50)

I don’t know who will judge yet, but it won’t be me. :)

Oh my God I have so many. I wish I could submit a dozen.! Thank you - this will be some fun

Thank you for running this competition, Kimmi. 😊 I believe it is 74 words, all true, of course! 😜

Dry

“I’m not touching alcohol this January,” I confidently state.

“It’s my New Year’s resolution!”

My wife gives me a knowing smile.

At the pub, my wife, our friends, all drinking, having fun.

I sit there, watching, nursing my Yorkshire tea.  

Once home, my naked wife lies there, legs spread, inviting.

I climb between them, my ten-inch cock erect, primed.

She rolls to one side, legs closed, and giggles…

“I’m having a dry January too!”

Quote by wxt55uk

Thank you for running this competition, Kimmi. 😊 I believe it is 74 words, all true, of course! 😜

Dry

“I’m not touching alcohol this January,” I confidently state.

“It’s my New Year’s resolution!”

My wife gives me a knowing smile.

At the pub, my wife, our friends, all drinking, having fun.

I sit there, watching, nursing my Yorkshire tea.  

Once home, my naked wife lies there, legs spread, inviting.

I climb between them, my ten-inch cock erect, primed.

She rolls to one side, legs closed, and giggles…

“I’m having a dry January too!”

Geeee nius

What a fun way to finish and start the year. I love your challenges! Thank you, Kimmi!

I Hear You

Not our first tango.

“Promised I wouldn’t… again.”

“I hear your plea, yet your hips’ back-and-forth rocking onto me screams louder. Same as last NYE’s party.”

There’s the leg shaking and... eyes shutting tight.

“You know there’s no holding it. Yield.”

That's it.

“Once you come down, here, taste your melted resolve coating my fingers and tell me, which one should I believe, your words or your quivering body beckoning me for more?”

“Damn you!”

Me thinks y’all have taken a lil too quickly to this backfiring resolutions thing. Must have been down this road before.

Great idea, Kimmi. Seventy five words it is. Direct from the naughty cupboard under the stairs...

😁

Secret Whispers

After dinner that evening, I asked my wife what her New Year's resolution would be.

“To have sex more often,” she whispered. We mingled with the guests at the party.

Walking past the library, I heard my brother’s voice.

“So, you told him you’re going to have sex more often?”

“It was the truth, just not as often as I’ll be fucking you. Now stick your dick back in me and make me cum again.”

Quote by AvidlyCurious

What a fun way to finish and start the year. I love your challenges! Thank you, Kimmi!

I Hear You

Not our first tango.

“Promised I wouldn’t… again.”

“I hear your plea, yet your hips’ back-and-forth rocking onto me screams louder. Same as last NYE’s party.”

There’s the leg shaking and... eyes shutting tight.

“You know there’s no holding it. Yield.”

That's it.

“Once you come down, here, taste your melted resolve coating my fingers and tell me, which one should I believe, your words or your quivering body beckoning me for more?”

“Damn you!”

Damn you indeed. Leg shaking was it. Hmmm.

I slipped off Greg’s cock and stretched out next to him. Cum oozed out of my ass as I relaxed. My own cream coated Greg’s belly.

“How was that?” Greg asked, smiling.

“Fantastic,” I answered, “Best sex ever.”

“Better than Gail?”

I chuckled at the mention of my wife.

“Much,” I replied, “I resolved at New Year’s to improve relations with her family like she wanted. Mission accomplished.”

My brother-in-law burst into laughter.

The end of 2025. A time for reflection. What might a healthier, happier 2026 look like?

Tantric sex! Spirituality, sensuality, self awareness! A new me! An ‘edgy’ 2026, followed by kicking off 2027 with a BANG!

Fast forward: January 2, 2026. I am catching up on the Lush Advent Writing Comp. Great stories. Some pull at my heartstrings. Others make me want to ‘pull’ something else. Fuck.

Lesson learned. Resolutions are hard. Edging, harder.

You're the best Kimmi. My entry:

I crushed my few remaining cigarettes, lighters, matches, everything, deep into the trash; deliberately beneath the buffet’s soggy debris. I stepped out in to the crisp silence of 2026 craving that first chilled breath of fresh air. She emerged from the shadows, short black dress revealing her sensual curves. I’d been watching her all night.

“If you have a light I’ll give you the best blowjob of your life.” Lips shimmering red. “While I smoke.”

OK, Kimmi, I'll give it a shot.....

My wife and I always enjoyed setting sexy resolutions each year.

Hoping to spice up our lives, I vowed to let her try anything she had ever fantasized about.

My wife vowed to have sex on a more regular basis, our sexlife having grown a little stale over the past year.

Unfortunately, it seems, my brother, father, best friend, and half the men at my work enjoyed this year's resolutions way more than I did.

Thank you, Kimmi, for the challenge and the fun!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“My resolution? Being fucked by you and your sister in a three-way!”

“Are you fucking kidding me??”

He smiled.

Finally, she nodded, “Tomorrow night. Her place.”

-----

He walked in, was kissed by Katie and blindfolded by Norma.

They stripped him naked, then a mouth sucked his cock, another kissed his bum.

“This way…” Hands led him forward…then shoved him out into the snow.

Katie shouted, “You’re fucked – asshole!” and slammed the back door.

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

Thank you, Kimmi, for the challenge and the fun!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“My resolution? Being fucked by you and your sister in a three-way!”

“Are you fucking kidding me??”

He smiled.

Finally, she nodded, “Tomorrow night. Her place.”

-----

He walked in, was kissed by Katie and blindfolded by Norma.

They stripped him naked, then a mouth sucked his cock, another kissed his bum.

“This way…” Hands led him forward…then shoved him out into the snow.

Katie shouted, “You’re fucked – asshole!” and slammed the back door.

🤣🤣🤣 throws snowballs at naked Bear locked outside 😂😂😂

Well, that's the funniest entry so far. grabs a snowball

First off Thank you Kimmi and here is my entry.

Ten minutes before midnight December 31st, 2025.

He asked his wife, “What is your resolution for 2026. 

She replied, “To not drink too much in 2026.”

She asked, “What is your resolution?”

He said, “To not cheat on you anymore.”

The next morning, he shakes her awake from a drunken stupor.

She said, “Sorry. Looks like I failed my resolution. How did you do?”

He replies, “There is always next year.

Quote by AAnna

She said, “Sorry. Looks like I failed my resolution. How did you do?”

He replies, “There is always next year.

Anna, I absolutely love your challenge story ending. Fits perfectly with the theme. You've got my vote as the winner so far.

Well, some people around here really like y’all! I received another donation of coins to put in this writing challenge. So… a second place will be awarded for 125 ($12.50) Lush coins.

Keep ‘em cumming!

Thanks Kimmi! These are always fun!

I overdid it in 2025. There's no getting around it. A lot of male meat passed through my lips and my hands this year. I made my NY resolution: 

“I will not see or touch more than three cocks this year.”

It was going really well. I met a nice guy, we were great in bed, and I was dropping unsubtle hints I wanted something serious.

Alas, the chicken farm sent me a job offer.

Allright then, lets try this:

"This is my first time" I said to Veronica.

"With anyone?"

"No, with a... professional."

Chuckling, she said "Let's make it memorable then" as she went down. It's unfair what a woman can do to a man with her mouth. It was a symphony of lips, tongue, fluids and throat cartilage. A gift to myself for the new year.

But it was her finger entering my ass as I came that really made it unforgettable.

Quote by MC1982

Thanks Kimmi! These are always fun!

I overdid it in 2025. There's no getting around it. A lot of male meat passed through my lips and my hands this year. I made my NY resolution: 

“I will not see or touch more than three cocks this year.”

It was going really well. I met a nice guy, we were great in bed, and I was dropping unsubtle hints I wanted something serious.

Alas, the chicken farm sent me a job offer.

Hilarious.

A power outage sent Bev and Kay home early from the gym—a perverse, cosmic twist, considering the memberships had been gifts from their husbands to fulfill their New Year’s resolutions. They walked through the house, frozen by the lecherous sight in the backyard hot tub: Bill fucking Jake from behind, his arm wrapped around, stroking his hard cock.

“Should we—”

“Join them?” Bev finished.

This is going to be a great year, thought Kay.

Cradling her rounded belly, the naked woman answered. The sunrise perfectly cast curvaceous shadows of her expecting body.

“Package for me?” she purred, attempting to use innuendo to separate the young man from his mission. She then cupped her breasts, gently massaging one nipple to express a succulent drop.

“The juice is worth the squeeze.” She winked. “I promise.”

Horny lactating cougars. Never stands a chance. Fulfilling his soon-to-be-failed resolution would wait (again) another year.

Quote by MC1982
Alas, the chicken farm sent me a job offer.

Okay, this punch line might be even funnier than the Bear's story.

This is a fun challenge, Kimmi! Let an imaginative newbie join in....

*******************************************************************************************************************************************************

January 1st. "I will never get naked with a married man online again," I promised myself.

January 3rd. My mentor has been suffering from a degenerative eye disease due to old age. He has repeatedly tried to just be jolly about it, stating he was hoping to photograph a naked lady before he loses his eyesight. So I tossed off my lingerie, posed seductively in bed, took a selfie, and sent him his post-holiday treat.