The change room was fairly busy that afternoon. I walked in, found a free locker, and started stripping. Men in various stages of changing were all around me. My eyes wandered, most drawn to the ones who were nude or close to it. Cocks abounded, not usually visible for long, but long enough to stir interest. Somehow, I got into my trunks without popping a boner.

When I was changed, I headed out to the swimming pool. I was there to meet friends for an afternoon swim. They were on the pool deck near the deep end, lined up for a try at diving. In the back of my mind, thoughts of naked men and exposed cocks lingered. My eyes occasionally locked onto a guy in a tight Speedo or otherwise showing off.

I was seventeen that summer and had only just come around to realizing that I was almost unquestionably gay. Not that I would admit that to anyone, even friends. Being gay was not something you were out about as a teen boy in the 1980s. There were few out gay men around and even fewer gay role models in the media or other public spheres.

After an hour or so frolicking around the pool, my friends and I headed for the lockers. We undressed in sight of each other. Matty, my oldest friend, was a tall hunk of a youth whose cock I had admired for a long time. I was not in love with him, at least not at that point, but I certainly entertained fantasies about our friendship becoming something more intimate. Not that I really expected I would get to do the things that I imagined, but the fantasy was there nonetheless.

Matty and I went back to his place afterwards. His family was out for the afternoon, probably not back until late. We ordered a pizza for dinner, then crashed in front of the TV.

“Hey, Jack has a porno. Want to watch it?” Matty asked.

Jack was his older brother. We were too young to rent dirty movies, but Jack was twenty. He had to keep them hidden from their parents, but I guess Matty figured out where his brother kept his porn stash.

“Sure,” I said, getting a bit excited, “Put it on.”

The movie was typical straight-to-video porn. It had a thin line of plot that existed just to justify a string of sex scenes. I watched with fascination, my attention squarely on the men. The sight of their long, hard cocks aroused me something fierce. When the camera lingered lovingly on a girl giving a guy a blowjob, I mentally put myself in her place rather than his. When a scene ended in anal, I imagined a guy in the girl’s position and me fucking his ass.

Two scenes in, there was a noticeable bulge in my jeans. I kept touching it, trying to be subtle about it but probably failing. It was getting to Matty, too, or so it seemed. He was a bit twitchy and kept rubbing the bulge in his own pants. Finally, he looked at me.

“You okay if I stroke?” he asked.

“Sure, as long as you don’t mind me doing the same,” I responded.

He answered by unzipping his jeans and sliding them down along with his underwear. I took that as approval and did the same. We both sported erections. Matty’s looked a bit longer than mine and he was circumcised, unlike me.

Matty wrapped his fingers around his shaft and began moving his hand up and down along it. His eyes were on the screen where a girl was licking the pussy of another girl.

I knew about lesbians, but I guess the reality of them did not click until I saw that scene. As a boy with gay inclinations, I was focused more on male homosexuality than female. Years later, I found out that my mother was bisexual and had an affair with a female neighbour for several years. So I guess it was closer to home than I knew at the time.

The sight of Matty’s hand stroking his long, hard cock awoke a terrible sense of longing in me. I wanted his cock in my hand or even between my lips. But I had no idea how he would respond if I actually suggested it. I pulled my eyes back to the porno and tried to focus on the action on the TV as I caressed and jerked my own cock.

On screen, both women were now sucking cocks. They knelt side by side with the men standing in front of them. I envied the blonde on the left. She was sucking the bigger of the two cocks and that size made it seem all the more exciting to me. It looked more like Matty’s, too.

“Oh god,” Matty groaned, quickly pulling up his shirt to bare his belly.

Moments later, my friend shot his load. A burst of milky cream shot up his belly, followed by more.

What, I wondered, did that thick liquid taste like? I pondered licking it off his belly. Even better would be having his cock in my mouth, pouring it right onto my tongue or down my throat.

Those fantasies sent me over the edge. With an inarticulate moan, I threw my head back as cum shot out of my cock onto my waiting belly. I kept stroking, ribbons of my cream spraying in short bursts. Finally, I stopped, expended. I glanced at Matty and realized he was looking back at me.

“Fuck that felt good,” he said.

“Sure did,” I responded.

We both got naked and went to the family’s bathroom. Matty used a wet washcloth to clean himself, then rinsed it and passed it to me. After we were both cleaned up and dressed, Matty returned the porno to its hiding place. We fired up his Atari 2600 and played games for the rest of the evening. What happened seemed forgotten, or at least put aside.

When I got home that night, everyone was in their rooms, some probably already sleeping. I shut the door, stripped off my clothes, and climbed on my bed. Pyjamas could wait. Lying there with only a nightlight on, I replayed the jerk session in my head.

That memory turned into a fantasy. I imagined that I crawled over and started stroking Matty’s cock. As I did, we kissed and he began doing the same to mine. We gazed into each other’s eyes and jerked each other until we both exploded, making a mess of cum on his family room rug.

I came hard at that thought, writhing and moaning on my bed. My orgasm was even more intense than the one in the afternoon. Cum landed high on my chest, then sprayed over my torso, leaving a huge creamy puddle on my belly.

I wiped myself clean with tissues, then curled up under the covers. My mind was still turning over what happened at Matty’s house. Just before dawn, I awoke with a raging hard-on on the brink of exploding. Only masturbating again got me back to sleep.

“Fuck, I was so gay last night,” I raged at myself in the morning.

What would Matty think? Then again, he had suggested it. I had merely gone along. And that had me wondering whether my friend was also gay, or thinking he might be. Was our jerk off session a test or even a fantasy for him?

Later that day, I met Matty in a local park. We sometimes went there just to hang out or to play games on the ball field there. He seemed a bit nervous when I got there. We chatted for a few minutes, then Matty took a deep breath.

“I, um, have a date tonight,” he told me, sounding almost like he was confessing.

I raised an eyebrow. Matty dating was new. I had not seen this coming.

“With who?” I asked, trying not to sound too disappointed.

“Amy Westerby,” he said, “We were talking in school the other day and she was going on about an event that she wanted to go to, a teen dance party at Lovelock Community Center. So I asked if I could take her. She said yes.”

That gave me pause. Amy was a tall, slim, very pretty girl in our year. She was a cheerleader and gymnast with a few awards under her belt and quite popular. Having large, shapely tits and a penchant for tight tops probably helped, too. Being gay, those charms kind of bounced off of me.

Rumours abounded about Amy’s love life. She certainly had a rather diverse, checkered dating history. Amy did not, however, seem like the kind of girl who would be dating a “nerd” like one of us.

“Wow, that’s incredible,” I reacted, eyebrows raised, “It does sound like she was fishing for it, though.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. Who would have known that Amy would be into me?”

“Is she? Or does she just not want to go without a date?”

Amy having an agenda would not be out of character, I knew.

“Hard to tell, but it is Amy, so it seems unlikely that she couldn’t find a date.”

I clapped Matty on the back and told him, “Have a good time, man. She’s hot as they come in our world. Make the most of it.”

My heart was sinking as I said that.

Matty grinned.

“I, um, picked up some supplies if you get my drift. From what they say, she’s been with every guy she has gone out with.”

I laughed and responded, “‘They’ say a lot of things about her. She’s supposed to be dating and screwing Mike Smith, isn’t she?”

“That was the last I heard. Maybe they’re on the outs now.”

“And she’s rumoured to be into girls, too, right?”

“Doesn’t seem like a lesbian, though, based on the other rumours,” Matty pointed out.

“No, she doesn’t. So maybe those are just unfounded gossip.”

We moved on to other topics after that. I felt a bit sad and unsettled as I thought more about Matty’s news. This seeming confirmation of my friend being straight disappointed me. A memory of the previous evening came and went. I decided that I would just have to find another outlet for my gay desires.

That evening, I headed down to the games store where we often hung out. With Matty off on his date, I hoped I could connect with some other guys I knew down there and get a game going. The store had a room in the back where there was often a group playing role-playing or war games. Playing something like that might distract me from my raging lust.

Derek Wilson was in the store with a couple of his band of friends. He was a college student who worked in the store and ran a lot of the games in that back room. Derek was also the only openly gay man I knew, though I was not out to him yet. They were playing Car Wars, a slightly crazy board war game where you fought battles using tricked-out cars. It was kind of Mad Max, the game.

I joined in for a while, losing myself in pretending to blow up shit. We had a ball, but Derek’s friends had to be going, and he had to close up the store. I started for the door myself, but Derek stopped me.

“Hang for a bit?” he asked.

I cocked an eyebrow.

“Yeah, sure, Derek.”

He locked the door and turned down the front lights. After he ran the cash totals for the day and moved the money to a safe under the counter, Derek nodded to the back room. We crashed in chairs.

“What’s wrong, man? You’ve been pretty distracted this evening,” he asked pointedly.

I took a deep breath.

“A buddy of mine is on a date tonight and I, um, yeah. I … we kind of had some fun together last night and I guess I misread the room.”

“Some fun?” Derek asked.

“We jerked off in front of each other watching porn.”

Derek cocked an eyebrow and asked point-blank, “Steve, are you gay?”

I was a bit stunned but took another deep breath and answered, “Yeah, I am. I guess I am safe telling you, eh.”

He chuckled.

“Yeah, I’ll keep your secret. I am keeping quite a few. Hell, I’m not out to some family members yet. The rest cover for me.”

I relaxed, realizing I was now in good company, someone who knew.

“So how did you find out?” I asked Derek, “That you were gay?”

He sat back, smiled, and recounted, “I felt it for a long time before I really understood what I felt. I crushed on other boys, fantasized about them, that sort of thing. I thought I was weird at first, maybe a bit loco in the cabasa if you get my drift. So I buried it so deep in the closet that I hoped even I couldn’t find it. Hell, when I was your age, I had sex with a couple of girls just trying to convince myself I was straight. Worst sex ever.”

That got me chuckling.

“Okay, I haven’t tried that yet,” I told him.

“Don’t, man,” Derek urged, “If you really are gay, just go with it. Sure, things can get pretty bad when people find out, but you’ll be true to yourself and that matters.”

“I am pretty sure about being gay, Derek, but I feel unsure about where to go from there,” I told him.

“I get that. I struggled for a long time, too, even after I started fucking guys. So you and this friend, I’m guessing it’s Matty, jerked off in front of each other and that got you turned on. You were hoping he was gay and ready to explore, too?”

I was a bit surprised at him guessing correctly that it was Matty. Maybe it was obvious since Matty and I hung out together in the store a lot.

“Basically. I didn’t feel confident enough to let it out, though. And now he’s on a date with a hot girl from school and has condoms in his pocket.”

Derek giggled.

“Fuck, he’s trying to avoid it like I did. Figures if he acts straight, he will be straight.”

“What? You know Matty’s gay?”

“That’s just my reading of him, but yeah. I think he’s gay or bi and struggling with it. I’ll bet last night was him trying to sort that out before the big date.”

“So even if he does get laid tonight, that doesn’t mean he’s straight, just that he’s testing himself?”

“Basically,” Derek answered, “He’s trying to find himself, see who he really is. Be prepared, though. If this date goes badly, he could head the other way like a boomerang. And he’ll need someone there to catch it, if you get my drift.”

“Which would be me, his best friend.”

“Right. Meanwhile, if you’re looking to get some release and experience, you and I have this place to ourselves and I’m a bit horny. Haven’t had a guy in a few days.”

I stared at Derek. He was a good-looking guy, but I had never thought of us together before. The thought immediately had me feeling aroused. Dare I accept?

“You’re suggesting we could, um, do it here?” I asked, just to confirm his intent.

“Sure. I don’t have any lube or protection so no fucking but we can do a lot without going there.”

Now I was horny. This would be my first time doing anything with anyone, male or female. I started undoing my pants. Derek smiled, clearly pleased at how this was going, and undid his own.

When he stood and dropped his jeans and underwear to the floor, my eyes locked on his cock. It was big, certainly the biggest that I had seen up close. He was already partially erect, clearly as aroused as I was.

Eyes still on Derek’s cock, I got up and dropped my pants. My dick was shorter but maybe a bit thicker. We would see once we were both fully erect.

I stepped clear of the heap of clothing, then slipped my t-shirt off. Derek and I were both naked now. He stepped close and ran his hands over my torso, then caressed my cock. Shaking a little, I touched his. For a moment, we just stared at each other as we played with each other.

Derek moved closer, taking me in an embrace. His mouth pressed to mine, his tongue slid in. I put my hands on his back, stroking him as we kissed. Our cocks were pressed between us, swelling as they rubbed together.

When we parted, I was a bit stunned. I looked down and saw that we were both erect now. Tentatively, I reached out and stroked Derek’s erection. He smiled at me and did the same to mine. We both closed our hands around each other’s cock and began gently jerking each other.

“How do you feel?” Derek asked.

“Crazy good. Can’t believe this is finally happening,” I responded.

“Know what frotting is?”

“No. I’m new to this sex stuff, you know.”

Derek laughed and explained, “It’s when two guys rub their dicks against each other. We kind of did it inadvertently there when I kissed you.”

“Sound sexy as hell.”

“Let’s do it.”

We moved together again. Derek made sure our cocks were together, then held me against him. His hands massaged my ass, so I did the same to him. Slowly, we moved against each other.

“Shit, this feels great. Do you ever cum doing this?” I asked.

“Sure, but it might make a bit of a mess here,” Derek pointed out, “And I’d have to clean it up.”

“So can I try sucking you?” I suggested, still quite tentative about all this, “Cumming in my mouth should be less of a mess, right?”

“Definitely.”

I moved out of our embrace and knelt in front of Derek. First, I licked his cock, getting used to the slightly sweaty scent and taste of it. After a few licks, I put it between my lips. I was a bit nervous, not sure if I could actually take a cock in my mouth without choking or gagging.

“You’re doing well, kid,” Derek encouraged, “Suck now. Gently. And then try taking me in further.”

I was soon contentedly sucking his long rod with the head almost in my throat. My fear of gagging proved unfounded. This was actually quite exciting and enjoyable.

Derek put his hands on my head. At first, he just caressed my hair, but then he held my head and gently moved his hips. His cock moved between my lips as I kept sucking.

“That’s it, man. You’re really into this, aren’t you? God, this is wonderful,” Derek said in a soft, slightly breathless voice as he fucked my mouth.

Then he groaned. His cock throbbed between my lips. Thick cream flooded my mouth and throat. I managed to swallow enough to avoid choking. More poured out, but the flood soon abated. I released Derek’s cock and looked up at him.

“Wow, I just ate cum. That’s wild,” I said.

“I’ll bet you’re close to an explosion yourself,” my lover pointed out as I got up.

“For sure,” I responded, looking down at my hard cock. Precum glistened on the tip.

I sat in a chair with my thighs parted. Derek got down and wasted no time. My cock was soon buried to the balls in his mouth.

“Oh god, this is amazing,” I gasped as my arousal kicked into high gear.

It didn’t take long before I gripped the arms, threw my head back, and let out a series of low cries. My cock pulsed between Derek’s lips, pumping out my cum. He expertly swallowed it.

“There you go. How’s that?” he asked when he released me.

“Fucking awesome,” I said between breaths, “Never dreamt it could be that intense.”

“Good. Look, I’m available if you want to do more. We’ll use my place going forward. There’s risk in doing it here and I have some necessary supplies in my nightstand.”

“Yeah, I can see that. Let’s see what happens, eh.”

Derek got up and started dressing. I took another minute or two to recover, then did the same. I slipped out of the store first while he closed things up.

At home, I undressed and climbed into bed naked. In spite of having just cum hard in my first sex partner’s mouth, I was soon jerking happily away as I recalled that evening.

The next day, Matty called and asked me to come over. He sounded downcast, even depressed. I quickly headed over, worried about my friend.

“What’s up, man?” I asked when we were sequestered in his bedroom.

His family was all out, but he still wanted to ensure absolute privacy for whatever he wanted to tell me.

“Last night was a fucking disaster,” Matty said, hanging his head.

“What happened?”

“I was just a pawn in a game. She used me to get to someone else. It seemed to work, too. I ended up coming home alone.”

I sighed, feeling sorry for Matty but also a bit guilty. While he suffered through a terrible night, I had been enjoying my first sexual experience.

“Oh shit, that fucking sucks, Matty. Her reputation continues, I guess.”

“Yeah, I should have known better. I just ... I hoped it would go differently. You know, maybe me and her doing stuff after the dance.”

I grinned and patted his shoulder.

“It’s a fantasy worth chasing, I guess.”

“Is it, though?” he said, “I mean, just the other day I was jerking off next to you and really enjoying it.”

My ears pricked up at that.

“Really? You enjoyed getting off with me?” I asked, privately delighted by this news.

“Fuck, you enjoyed it, too, didn’t you? You kept watching me as much as the porn,” he replied, disappointment on his face turning to a sly grin.

I smiled and answered, “Indeed. Matty, I was fantasizing about you and me. I even got off to those fantasies when I got home.”

He looked up at me, now smiling.

“So are we gay, Steve?” he asked.

I thought carefully, debating how much to tell him. After all, I was not sure he should know I went to another guy.

“I am for sure, Matty. I actually had sex for the first time recently. With a guy. No ass fucking, just stroking and sucking. What a cum that was. I wanted it to be with you, though. Really. But when you told me you were going out with a girl, that kind of killed it.”

“I don’t know what I am,” Matty said with a sigh, “I hear there’s such a thing as bisexual. Maybe that’s me.”

“People who enjoy both sexes? Yeah, I’ve heard of that, too. That’s kind of cool, really.”

We looked at each other. My cock was stirring, wondering if this was the moment.

“I want to find out for sure, Steve,” Matty told me, longing in his eyes.

“I can help with that, I think.”

I moved in close and pressed my mouth to his. Matty was startled, but then gave in. Our tongues met and slid around each other for a moment or two. Then we sat back.

“Wow, I am seriously turned on right now,” Matty said.

“I am, too. You ready to do this?”

“Very much,” my friend replied, starting to undo his jeans.

Matty stood and slid his pants down, releasing his cock. Smiling, I rose and did the same. Our t-shirts followed, leaving us both nude.

“Now what?” Matty asked.

“Maybe this,” I responded, pulling his body against mine.

Now we kissed in earnest. I ran my hands up and down his back as my tongue and his worked against each other. Soon, Matty’s hands were squeezing my ass. Our bodies moved together, rubbing our swelling cocks against each other.

“Get on the bed,” I told Matty when we paused for breath.

Matty obeyed, stretching out on his back. I lay alongside and took his cock in my hand. As I kissed my friend again, I stroked his cock with my fingers. It was soon hard in my hand.

I moved down between Matty’s legs. Holding his cock up in my hand, I kissed the head. Then I circled my tongue around the head before licking up and down his shaft. After one more stroke of my tongue over the head, I wrapped my lips around it and began to suck. I slowly took more and more of Matty in, hoping I could take all of him as Derek had done for me. The head was basically in my throat, but I figured out how to do it.

“Steve, this is fucking wild. It feels so good,” Matty said.

He propped himself up on his elbows to watch. I pulled off his cock and looked up at my friend, stroking his cock with my fingers.

“I’m glad you like it, Matty. How do you want to cum?”

“In your mouth?”

“Perfect. That’s what I hoped for,” I answered, then resumed sucking his cock.

Once he was all the way in again, I began moving my head up and down. His cock slid back and forth between my lips. Matty seemed to like that. He began moving his hips to push it in.

“Oh,” he gasped.

A flood of cum poured out. I was more ready than I was with Derek, happy swallowing all Matty could give me. When the flow eased, I pulled off and licked his dick clean. Finally, I crawled up over my friend and gave him another French kiss. I was sure he could taste himself on my tongue, and that made me hornier than I already felt.

“I want to do that to you now, Steve,” Matty said after we made out for a bit.

“Sure. I’ll guide you, but it’s mostly just doing what I did to you,” I told him.

“Sit on the edge of the bed,” he told me, “I’ll get down in front and suck you that way. Like the girls do in the movies.”

I delighted in how Matty was getting so into this. I sat up on the edge of the bed while my friend got on his knees in front of me. He stroked my cock with his fingers, eyes on it. Then, a bit tentatively, Matty kissed and licked the head.

“Wow, you taste good,” he commented.

Matty wrapped his lips around the head of my cock, much as I had done with his. He sucked a little, then took more in. I did not really need to do much. Matty seemed to have a good grasp of what to do. I leaned back on my arms and enjoyed watching him take more and more of me in. Soon, his nose was in my pubes and he was sucking away happily.

“Woo hoo, you’ve got it, man,” I said softly, sitting up and stroking my friend’s hair, “Keep that up and you’ll get a nice meal out of me.”

Matty grunted some kind of acknowledgement but with his mouth stuffed with my thickness, words weren’t coming. He began sliding back and forth along my cock. Then I remembered Derek fucking my mouth.

“Let me get up, then you can suck me standing up. I want to try something.”

My friend pulled off my cock and I got up. He leaned in and kissed my stiff cock, then stroked the tip with his tongue.

“There’s cum already,” he said.

“Yeah, that happens when I masturbate, too.”

Matty licked off the precum, then resumed sucking my cock. A bit nervous, I put my hands on his head.

“If I go too hard, stop me. You can just slap my thigh or something.”

I began to move my hips, sliding my cock back and forth between my friend’s lips. Matty clued in to what was happening. He relaxed and let me take control. Soon, he was taking me all the way in. I could feel his tongue against my cock, his lips around the base. I stopped thrusting and let him suck my swollen cock.

As I felt my climax rising, I closed my eyes and tilted my head back.

“Oh man, here it comes,” I gasped.

Matty eased back a bit, then held my cock and kept sucking. The explosion shook my body and my penis throbbed between his lips, pumping out a creamy load. My friend had to stop to swallow, then resumed hungrily sucking as I poured out more. Finally, I was done. Matty licked my cock clean, then stood for a long kiss.

We climbed into Matty’s bed and cuddled. I loved the feel of my friend’s nude body against mine. Eventually, we started kissing again. Matty’s cock was pressed against me so I could feel it hardening again.

I shifted position to put our cocks between us. As we made out, I moved my body to rub them against each other. Matty took the hint and matched his movements to mine. Soon, he was on his back with me on top, cocks stiff and pressed together.

“Oh God, I am going to cum again,” Matty gasped.

“Me, too.”

We began moving again, slowly rubbing against each other. It felt so good. For a while, we alternated. I would lie down on top and kiss him, then I would raise myself up with my arms and rub my cock against his.

When I came, it was not as physically intense as the first time, but there was an intimacy that made me feel very good inside. Matty came at almost the same time. Together, we flooded the space between our bodies with cum. Then we kissed again, rubbing our bellies together to spread the creamy mess around.

Both sated now, we showered together and dressed.

“Feeling better?” I asked when we had settled in their rec room.

“Much,” Matty answered, “That was incredible, especially the second time. I think I fell in love there or something.”

“Me, too. You don’t know how happy I was when you admitted getting turned on during our porn watching.”

“This is the start of something, isn’t it?”

“I want it to be. We need to be careful, though.”

“Yeah, me being gay won’t go over well in some circles. A lot of circles, really.”

“Same. But if we can manage the odd time like this when we can let loose, then I guess we can keep it under wraps the rest of the time.”

“Definitely.”

We stared at each other, then kissed. The sound of a door upstairs startled us.

“Shit, I was just getting aroused again,” Matty said, glancing nervously at the stairs.

“Later. We’ll have chances,” I told him with a grin and a wink.

We turned on the TV and started a game on the Atari. Jack appeared and joined us, none the wiser as to what happened between us or the role his porn stash had inadvertently played in it.