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Being a gentleman

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I was raised that a man was to conduct himself as a gentleman. The way he dresses, acts in public, treats ladies, mostly overall conduct. I look around today and see just the opposite. Guys with no respect from who they are. They can't war their caps right and will not remove them for anything. They can't wear the pants pulled up, and they have their ladies drive them around. These are just a few examples of the laziness I have seen. What do you think?
Hello LNR,

First of all I would like to welcome you to Lush, it seems like you are rather new here. I am sure you will enjoy this lovely little community!

As for your question of what I think (excuse me I know this is ask the Gals), I think you would be best off if you were to clean up your grammar and spelling mistakes in your post. A man cannot "war" a cap.

You do make a great point though, men these days have absolutely no respect for women. The old days of opening the car door and making sure she exits a room before you are long gone.....Well not for me at least
The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
Just to say i'm 21, and i absolutely agree. Old fashioned manners and politeness if something you just dont see anymore, from guys and girls..... and people ask why i'm still single!
Although I would also appreciate men pulling their goddamned trousers up I figure who the fuck are we to judge them for their choice of dress? Is it really laziness or is that the 'look' they're going for? One can't assume everyone who has half their boxers hanging out to be lazy - that'd be ridiculous.

I think there's a middle ground, I don't expect my man to work his ass off to cover me...it's give and take. However, manners cost nothing and manners is something I'd like to see all people exhibit at all times (including us women!). I don't see being gentlemanly as driving me round everywhere or guys dressing smartly, I see it as them checking in on you, trying to put you first, opening the door for you, not treating you like a piece of meat, that kind of thing.

That whole answer was one of the most jumbled up pieces of shit I've ever written, I am extremely tired so do forgive me for it...I hope the gist comes across at least.
I too understand this is ask the girls, but I have to chime in as well. There are times where I am just down right embarrassed to be a male. I see it time and time and time again. Guys with just no respect. It just makes me want to bash their fucking heads together, and tell them to and grow up. Its got nothing to do with the way they dress, its got everything to do with how they act. Half these younger guys think they can just walk up to any girl and start harassing them. Honestly, I feel sorry for the ladies of today (here at least. There is one particular race where it seems to be part of their culture), that they have to put up with this BS. I was raised to be respectful, to everyone. The problem is that the last 10-15 years or so, the current generation has not had the kick in the ass from their parents that we got. The problem is now out of control...rant over...
Part of me wonders if it has to do with the father's (if he decided to stick around) influence,
what they observe in their communities, what they see in films, and what young girls today
allow them to get away with. Though I see everyone's point as valid, I don't think
men and young men are the ones completely at fault. I think it's also up to the ladies to
help enforce that it isn't okay, that it isn't even remotely acceptable. Just my opinion...
Are you truly awake?
All my girl mates swoon over lads who open doors for them, let them go first, etc.

My lad mates who do that, do it because they want the girl to feel special, and treated with respect.

But for me, I hate it with a passion. It's not because I don't value the fact that they are trying to be polite and respectful, it's because I have a few problems of a kind I'd rather not go into here. And when a lad opens the door for me to go in first, how he reacts to me saying thank you and saying I would prefer it if he could go in first, tells me more about him than his original gesture. Unless they know me, a lot insist on my going first, without fail. I only ever agree when I feel it would hurt his feelings more than mine if I didn't, or it will cause a scene (at which point, I scoot through and wait on the other side of the door for them to go first to wherever it is we're going).

I believe that lads being "gentlemen" is about respect. But likewise, lasses should be ladies and respect them too. I hate the old-fashioned helplessness of stuff, and whilst I understand others enjoying it, I cringe at it. I'm very independant in a lot of ways, and I can open my own car door, thanks! And I can at least pay for half a bill, or the whole bill, whatever.

The clothes a person wears, in my opinion, should be what they are comfortable in, what they choose to cover themselves (or not!). And what I choose is what I choose, because I like it or I feel happiest in it. And anybody who doesn't like it and looks down on me because of it, is a narrow-minded snob, in my opinion. I don't judge others for it (even if it does look unfortunate sometimes), and I think it rude to do so.

I respect you, and I expect you to respect me back. I will go out of my way to do what I can to make you feel special. And I expect no less in return, including you going through the door first if you really want to make me feel comfortable!
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
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Quote by Shylass
[...]And when a lad opens the door for me to go in first, how he reacts to me saying thank you and saying I would prefer it if he could go in first, tells me more about him than his original gesture. Unless they know me, a lot insist on my going first, without fail. I only ever agree when I feel it would hurt his feelings more than mine if I didn't, or it will cause a scene (at which point, I scoot through and wait on the other side of the door for them to go first to wherever it is we're going).

[...]I hate the old-fashioned helplessness of stuff, and whilst I understand others enjoying it, I cringe at it. I'm very independant in a lot of ways, and I can open my own car door, thanks! And I can at least pay for half a bill, or the whole bill, whatever.


You remind me of a close friend of mine. You two would have
a ball discussing your opinions on chivalry
Are you truly awake?
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Isn't a gentleman, a man that can talk any woman's panties off, empty her bank account, and run off with her best friend, and she still loves him and would take him back?

Whatever a gentleman is I am sure I have never fit the bill. But I do hold doors, open car doors, walk on the outside, pull out chairs, etc. because even though I am 41 years old, my mama taught me to and she would still scold me if I didn't. (but where has it got me? two divorces.)
You are invited to read Passionate Danger, Part II, a story collaboration by Kim and ArtMan.
http://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/passionate-danger-part-ii.aspx

Common decency is what's missing these days. Its not even about someone holding a door open for me.
People, in general, don't respect anyone anymore. No one cares what's happening to their neighbors.

I'll wave someone through a stop sign before I go through, if we both get there at the same time.
Common practice twenty years ago was you always gave them a wave of thanks or some other sign for letting you go first.
Nowadays... Nothing.
People are too wrapped up in their own lives to see what's going on outside their own bubble.

I saw a pretty, young waitress in a diner the other day get grab-handed by a customer. No one cared or noticed that it upset her.
Sure, the guy was a dick for doing it. But what about the other twenty people that saw it and said nothing?

Alright... enough rambling from me... I've aired my major pet peeves
Quote by beowulf69
I'd like to see people treat each other with respect, common decency, kindness, & friendliness. I especially respect someone who does not think they are better than other people.


I like how you said this!! I agree!

personally, I am tired of so many people looking down their judgemental noses thinking they are better than you [me] ..... and expecting to be treated better! kinda reminds me of (from what I have seen on documentaries and stories told) of how some jerks were back in the days of discriminations based on class [similar to caste system] or colour of skin.

Manners are always admired, appreciated and classy.

Thank you .... mwah!
I believe that a man should act as a gentleman and that I should act as a lady. I hold myself to a high standard, dressing in a way that shows I respect myself, so my man (whenever I find him silly) should do the same. Does a man with his pants down to his ankles really have any self respect anyway ? I'm also flattered when a man opens a door for me, or pays for my meal for example, but I want the same opportunity to show him how much I care as well. I should never be denied the right to spoil someone I love in the name of chivalry. smile
Quote by Shylass
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?


Definitely not a bad thing, just interesting. After all, I did say
she's a good friend of mine
Are you truly awake?
Please excuse my writing. Not able to control my hands to well, and have to settle for getting something close sometimes. I hope to be getting better soon as I love to write. Most of the responses to my post have been good. While to some this is all about image, It is about defining who you are. A man should not have to prove he is a gentleman or has class. It should show on it's own. I would think if young men were to take more time trying to better themselves as gentleman with manners, It would do wonders for them as people. As the ladies ask "Where have all the good men gone?"
Quote by thelastnightrider
As the ladies ask "Where have all the good men gone?"


The flip side of that, though, is how "ladies" act too. A certain group of my mates are absolute (I can't find the right word!) idiots, particularly when out drinking (I never go out with them). The binge-drinking culture in the UK has been on the rise for some years, and the awful, nasty and disgusting behaviour these lasses display, not only when drunk, but now spilling over into more sober days, is downright filthy and a terrible role model for their children and siblings.

Of course, I do have some wonderful, classy friends who are awesome examples of what many people call a "lady".

I never saw myself as a "lady" and don't act with grace and elegance - partly because it's my nature to be clumsy and awkward, and partly because my style and humour isn't lady-like. I respect others, I just don't fit what society traditionally requires of "ladies" with dressing smartly and wearing make-up and heels and all that.

But I do my best to be kind and patient, grateful and friendly to everybody (including mean people I have to deal with). As you say, perhaps a lot depends on our definitions of "gentleman" and "lady". I know who I am, and I can tell a lot about a person by the way they react to me. And let me tell you, when you see two women fighting over a bag of ribbons, you do wonder where all the ladies have gone!

By the way, you are doing great with your typing.



Resident, if there is gingerbread involved, I'd discuss nearly anything with your friend.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Thanks for all the kind words. My hands were injured, and I'm in bandages. Hoping for a full recovery. The nerves are not acting right yet. It's hard to write, even harder when your a drummer. got about 3 more weeks to go. I'm sure dude was just trying to help me as I am new to this site, but I've been writing for several years and have over twenty copy writes. I will be putting some stories out on this site as soon as I can edit them. Thanks again
Quote by thelastnightrider
Thanks for all the kind words. My hands were injured, and I'm in bandages. Hoping for a full recovery. The nerves are not acting right yet. It's hard to write, even harder when your a drummer. got about 3 more weeks to go. I'm sure dude was just trying to help me as I am new to this site, but I've been writing for several years and have over twenty copy writes. I will be putting some stories out on this site as soon as I can edit them. Thanks again


My most sincere apologies, I had no idea that your hands were injured. As a fellow drummer (of a different sort) I realize that they are you tool and you need to make sure to take very good care of them. My original post was not meant to be smart assed, and thank-you for your understanding.

All the best to a speedy and successful recovery!
The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]