to be honest, before kids very very rarely the old boy was turned down, however now it does happen a little more, with 4 kids and running a business we are both stuffed... thats not saying a quickie cant be done.
I turned my ex boyfriend down once. We were just having fun in bed (clothed) and then he started calling me names like "slut" and "whore," etc. I told him to stop nicely, but he kept at it, so I told him no deal. He tried being real nice the rest of the night to make it up and the stupid boy did his act again. Later after we broke up I found out he really only wanted me for sex and wouldn't stop harassing me for it. I almost had to block him on my phone after we broke up.
yes it is very damaging, and not only to the relationship, but the person cut off. often the denier associates not only all forms of sex (oral, vaginal etc) with the ban on meeting in the middle, but affectionate contact as well. things like kissing, cuddling, affectionate touches disappear as well because they can be construed as foreplay. no contact at all can do all kinds of slow,cracking damage to a person. we are creatures of contact and mutual affection; deny that and a person can slowly lose self esteem and isolation can set in.
In the least irritating way possible, it's not just women who turn down men: my boyfriend turned me down the other night for a whole weekend, claiming he "wasn't in the mood", so, I'm completely as lost as you. When you find the solution, please let me know. It's so horrendous to a relationship, I couldn't feel more cut off
Can't say I've ever turned husband down, the same cannot be said for him though.
Turning down my significant other for sex? If you have to ask, makes me wonder. If you feel there is something behind it, then it's time to have an open discussion. Otherwise, chalk it up to normal things. Right now I have a terrible cold and not feeling terrible sexy... just feel contagious. Are you always ready? Is there nothing that interferes with your libido?
