Active Ink Slinger
As long as both are healthy, it is in no way a deal breaker, I look at it this way, do you want a newbie handling a mission, or a seasoned SF type?
Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
Number of Sex Partners a Dealbreaker?
last reply
48 replies
5.7k views
2 watchers
0 likes
How would this revelation change how you feel?
It depends. Some women do use sex to degrade themselves for whatever reason, but I have met emotionally and psychologically strong women who have had many, many men and it didn't make them unattractive or undesirable so, no, given a strong soul and mind who just happens to enjoy feeding a ravenous appetite, it's definitely not a deal breaker.
Active Ink Slinger
I think of the 300 as more of a hypothetical and will not focus on that part of the question. I am 52 yrs old. I have heard all my life negative comments about men from women about our preoccupation with sex. I would find a women with an unusually high number to be a fascinating creature and someone who for once might view sex as I do. Sex is physical pleasure between people. Makeing love is what I do every day when I bring my pay home to support my wife, stay at her bedside and bathe her when she's in the hospital for a week. Kiss her and thank her for cooking even though I hated eating it. To me That is making love.
Having a woman that has such a level of sexual hunger is in my mind like finding a unicorn. Keep her? I wouldn't let her get away!!! I don't believe they really exist.
Having a woman that has such a level of sexual hunger is in my mind like finding a unicorn. Keep her? I wouldn't let her get away!!! I don't believe they really exist.
To me, it doesn't matter the number of partners. I have been married for 15 years, and I do not have any idea how many partners my wife had before me. I know she had one, because she has a daughter when we met. The only thing that matters is that there is chemistry, and that the couple satisfies each other. The past is the past and cant be changed so why ponder on it.
Active Ink Slinger
There is no pleasing people is it?
Most men complaint that they are not having enough sex yet they are intimidated by a woman with a huge sex drive?
Personally I would welcome it, especially if the chemistry was there.
Are we so selfish to think that a woman should save herself for the off chance that she may come across us one day.
I could go on but I would be way of topic.
Not only I would have no issues with it, I would be happy about it.
Most men complaint that they are not having enough sex yet they are intimidated by a woman with a huge sex drive?
Personally I would welcome it, especially if the chemistry was there.
Are we so selfish to think that a woman should save herself for the off chance that she may come across us one day.
I could go on but I would be way of topic.
Not only I would have no issues with it, I would be happy about it.
"If it doesn't leave you breathless, sweaty and ready to fade, it's just not worth doing."
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Organplayer1
Having a woman that has such a level of sexual hunger is in my mind like finding a unicorn. Keep her? I wouldn't let her get away!!! I don't believe they really exist.
Although I am kind of focusing on one woman right now I can assure you that I've known a few women in my life that had an insatiable sex drive and yes I have been used as a boy toy to satisfy them. Was I embarrassed or damaged by it in any way? NOT!!!! LOL
I admit that it seems to be a fairly rare thing but there ARE women with high sex drives that engage in sex acts with varied partners on a fairly regular basis. I think there are also a LOT of women that have become convinced to hide their sexuality away due to cultural pressures and here on Lush you can find literally hundreds of them... LOL
It's a shame that so many women are intimidated by the fear of being called or thought of as a slut. Until a woman becomes a slut she will never truly understand the enormous joy that comes with frequent sex with multiple partners when you totally surrender to it and it's joys and pleasures.
Remember the old saying "Is it true blondes have more fun?". Well... MY favorite is "Is it true sluts have more fun?"... And of course the answer is a resounding YES!!!
Take musicians for example as a parallel. We all know that it's true that only a bare handful ever make a decent living as musicians and it's only a bare handful of women that actually achieve the true slut status and they're having 90% of all the sexual fun and pleasure that's going around while the rest of the women hide out with their vibrators and stare at their computer or smart phone screens hoping for an orgasm.
There is, of course, the fear of STD's (easily fixed by condoms) and also the legitimate fear of getting hooked up with a predator that won't just be satisfied with some casual sex and the woman ends up on a morgue table like on CSI... YECH!!!
Girls... I'm not saying to drop all your inhibitions and start fucking every Tom, Dick, and Harry that comes your way but keeping that pussy hidden away while you wait for your knight in shining armor to come along isn't working out very well is it? LOL
Dang!!! There I go rambling again... If you're still reading this then you must have absolutely NO life and you should get away from the computer and meet someone new and do something exciting with them like perhaps... drum roll... SEX! ;)
Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together.... ;)
Active Ink Slinger
She must have been a Spartan. I think 300 is a bit excessive. I guess I'd rather not know the number and accept her as not being a virgin
The Bee's Knees
another woman adding her 
it wouldn't bother me at all. what occurred before i arrived on the scene is none of my business. i'm MUCH more concerned with how often he gets tested and if he practiced safe sex.
it wouldn't bother me at all. what occurred before i arrived on the scene is none of my business. i'm MUCH more concerned with how often he gets tested and if he practiced safe sex. 
Say. Her. Name.
Don't have two cents with me. But here is my experience and input.
I have been married just over year. And there is no way he could not know of my sexual history.
He did not ask and I did not volunteer either. While the number is high, I do not think it quite reaches 300.
If he has a problem with whatever your number is I would think now is a great time to come to an abrupt re-evaluation.
I have been married just over year. And there is no way he could not know of my sexual history.
He did not ask and I did not volunteer either. While the number is high, I do not think it quite reaches 300.
If he has a problem with whatever your number is I would think now is a great time to come to an abrupt re-evaluation.
In my opinion, any man or woman who is concerned about the number of sex partners their significant other has had is unworthy of their signficant others love. That number doesn't mean you have an STD, or that you ever had an STD. STD's are based on contact. You could just as easily catch one from your very first partner as you could your 300th. If anything relevant can be stated about the number, it is that with more partners comes more experience. And perhaps that experience is the difference between being a great sex partner and an awful one. Frankly, I'll take a.great sex partner anytime, I can't imagine anyone choosing a bad sex partner. Of course, I'm not insecure (i.e.: jealous) and maybe that is why the number doesn't matter to me.
Active Ink Slinger
In a perfect world, no, it isn't a deal breaker. In reality.... it depends.
If she (or he, for that matter) is 18 years old and has been with 300 people, then I'd have to reconsider. Clearly, there is something more than just wanting to have fun going on. There could be something deeper happening. Not that I'd ever ask how many people a partner has been with. But, if she volunteered this info, I'd want to know more.
If the number is high because she spent an extended amount of time working as a prostitute and slept with 1000 Johns, yes, it could be a deal breaker. It isn't necessarily the number of partners that would concern me, but the emotional toll could be something i'm not up for. Not to mention if she's become jaded about sex/men/love in the process.
If she's a 40+ year old woman that's spent years having fun, carefree, casual sex however and whenever she wanted and accumulated a high number; that wouldn't bother me in the least.
If she's only been with 3 guys, but one of them is her prepubescent son, I'd be out. Like above, it isn't the number as much as it is who/what/when/where/why reasons for the number.
If she (or he, for that matter) is 18 years old and has been with 300 people, then I'd have to reconsider. Clearly, there is something more than just wanting to have fun going on. There could be something deeper happening. Not that I'd ever ask how many people a partner has been with. But, if she volunteered this info, I'd want to know more.
If the number is high because she spent an extended amount of time working as a prostitute and slept with 1000 Johns, yes, it could be a deal breaker. It isn't necessarily the number of partners that would concern me, but the emotional toll could be something i'm not up for. Not to mention if she's become jaded about sex/men/love in the process.
If she's a 40+ year old woman that's spent years having fun, carefree, casual sex however and whenever she wanted and accumulated a high number; that wouldn't bother me in the least.
If she's only been with 3 guys, but one of them is her prepubescent son, I'd be out. Like above, it isn't the number as much as it is who/what/when/where/why reasons for the number.
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Rookie Scribe
Doesnt matter to me at all. In some ways, the more mature i've become and reflective, these days I probably prefer a long term partner thats had a lot of experience. Also given my sexual activity and past, i've lost count of the number of sexual partners i've had, so I cant exactly be hypocritcal. For context, i'd admit i'd always been a exhibitionist 'man slut' and flaunter of my abnormally large endowment, which got me a lot of attention from all genders. I then discovered the lifestyle/swing/nude scene in my early 20s. So I have had a lot of 'exposure'. Although as I got older, started to seek more longer term lasting realtionships, as oppose to wanting to 'fuck any wet and willing hole'.
Some of my FWBs and long term sex partners have been ex escorts. My 2nd baby mama was and likely had over 300+ men before we met through a mutal friend recommendation (suggested we'd be good for each other, due to my abnormally large endowment and her experience). At the time she'd quit the 'business' and was looking for a partner to have children with. I dont know if she would have told me, had we not been 'date matched' by a mutal friend however, it really would not have bothered me how many men she'd had sex with.
Living Bi-cariously through Lush
If she's been with 300 guys, but chooses to be with me after all that ... well, I'd take that as a high compliment.
Newest: Wife Hacking | Persistent Terror | Stan Bi Me | Sexsquatch | Heartbombing [RR!]
Hottest: Skiing with Keith & Kate | Amy's Mom [RR!] | Band Camp | Lewd Beach | A Hole New World
Horny Bi Ape Who Writes
I am not sure I can even answer the poll question as framed.
If she is, indeed, free of STDs and other baggage from that past then I would probably carry on carrying on.
As for it happening after marriage, let's be honest. If I did not ask for her history, she's not necessarily obliged to provide one.
As I think others have commented, if she is truly ready to put that all behind her and settle down with me, that seems like a positive.
I happen to know that my wife had one man before me because she was still getting her divorce finalized when we first started dating. I shrugged it off. In fact, it was pretty clear that it was not a happy situation (marriage of convenience, in fact).
On a difficult journey home, Kate finds love and sex in a fellow traveler.
And I first introduced Kate as a university student whose first time kind of sets the stage for her new story.
Active Ink Slinger
Couldn’t care less. Open communication is key, protection and all relevant information about STD’s should be disclosed before coupling, that’s just basic respect and safety.
Active Ink Slinger
It bothered me a little when we first started dating seriously, and I knew she down-played the body count (as most girls do). Then she told me she had no doubt that I had been with a bunch of women, and had a few girlfriends I'd been with hundreds or thousands of times (her words). And that I was that guy lurking in some guys imagination when he talked with his girlfriend or wife about her past. We agreed that, if we ever talked about it, we'd be honest and open and have fun with it. AFter all, we had fun at the time with those partners and they were not had to make trouble in our current relationships - they were part of the past that makes us what we are in the present. We agreed that, as we were going to highschool and college reunions, that we' be sensitive if we met an ex, but if I suspected and wanted to know, she'd tell me the truth, and the same would be true for me. I met two of her exes at her college reunion, and two at mine! She gave me some particulars, and of course it fed my vivid imagination and when we went to our room those nights, I vividly imagined her with these guys - and it was an incredible turn on - we had some awesome sex. At my college reunion, I was saying hi to one old friend, and she whispered in my ear that he and she had been a hot couple, and she wondered why she had not met me through him. Knowing him, I had a great time teasing her, and she regailed me with stories of their adventures - and that led to some great sex. Now and then, I look at her in bed, and imagine her spread eagled getting it doggy style from my friend or one of the guys I met at her school, and of her sucking them off and hearing their sighs of contentment after her great bj - and she did give great bjs. This all just made me love her even more. We were at a grocery store in downtown Boston shortly after we started dating, and we were at that "teasing stage" - there was a girl in line in front of us, very cute, nice body - and she said "From what I'd guess about you, she's your type". Turns out that yes, she was my type, and was in fact an ex from senior year. I introduced her to my girlfriend, and hey hit hit it, chatting for a while after we paid for groceries. That night, I heard that Anne (the exes name) was a really nice girl and that she was probably a great girlfriend, and that Anne had told her how lucky she was to be with me and knew that she's enjoy being my girlfriend. My wife asked her if there was anything special that she liked doing with me - I heard the question but not the answer, just a lot of giggling and laughing. Anne and my gf/wife have stayed sort-of friends since then.That ight, back at my gf's apartment, I had some of the best sex with her I've ever had.