If you met someone and fell in-love or had a strong connection but eventually found out that this person is not interested in the BDSM lifestyle whatsoever and don't like it or care to be involved with it, would this be a deal-breaker for a relationship (either long-term or short-term) for those of you involved in BDSM?
In other words - is this so ingrained as part of your sexual identity or interests that you wouldn't be happy or satisfied with someone who wasn't into it or comfortable with it?
And when you do meet someone (as a potential dating-partner or significant other) when do you bring this topic up as something you're involved in? How do you typically broach the subject?
For me, it's not a deal breaker. While my wife indulges my bdsm tendencies, for her, it's just sort of fun, not a lifestyle, not a way of being. it's enough to keep me satisfied and not enough to make her feel uncomfortable in a role she isn't fully invested in. we sort of found a place in the middle that keeps us both happy. would i prefer she was a true Domme? yes. would she feel comfortable in that role? No. Does she understand that i "need' to be true sub/pet at times? Yes.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
I have seen very few people who have tried living the BDSM 'Lifestyle' 24/7 make it work. However, to have a partner who is opposed to any form of adventure or role playing would be pointless.
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