one day at a time. like Kiera said, kind of done with 2016 
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Quote by sprite
made it to today. still kind of shaky, but better. thanks to all the love, guys. it means a lot to me.
Quote by Regnadkcin
Sprite,
I hope today is better. Many of us are fragile right now, searching for a new reality in a rapidly decining world. We survive one day at a time.
I try to find one thing each day to make me happy. Right now it is my dog and only my dog.
Regnadkcin
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Quote by sprite
i have cats. pets love you without conditions. my girls are the best therapy ever.
) 
Quote by Regnadkcin
Today, I think I made a turn for the good. I had debated treating or not treating a health issue. I decided to go for the surgery and now have the right mental / emotional state. Good day!
This is good news. I am happy things are looking more positive for you. 
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Quote by sprite
My Anti-Valentine Entry 💔
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/cheating/a-valentines-date-to-remember
My first EP and a top ten from the Pride Competition
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/lesbian/-love-is-love-.aspx
Hanging in the background but around
Quote by kiera
You know, my sole focus since Paul died has been just to get us through it, me and the kids. Make this year as good as I can possibly make it so that my kids don't just look back on 2016 and remember that he died. I think I have done as good as I possibly could have done, they are happy and I wanted to do that and get this god awful year over with. Now it's almost over and tbh I have achieved what I wanted but I am in a bit of a WTF do I do now kinda mode, I never thought further ahead than this. I miss him, I don't want to do Christmas without him, it just won't be the same, it never will be. I worry myself sick over the kids all the time in case I haven't done enough or am not doing enough. All the presents in the world won't make up for their dad not being here Christmas morning. It's just another one of those firsts (probably the hardest one) I've got to get thru, I suppose but for the record they truly suck
Anyway, I don't know what it is but I just feel exhausted. My optimism that I have held onto all this time that if I just get 2016 out of the way with as much damage control as humanly possible things will be ok has gone. What was I thinking? Things never get better, life is just one fucking big challenge after another and I feel wiped out.
Instead of feeling like 2017 is going to be a new start for us, i just feel like what the fuck is 2017 going to throw at me and will I be strong enough? atm I am so exhausted i think if it through a bit of fluff at me I would break.
Quote by Verbal
So this is a reply to a pretty old post, but it resonated deeply when I read it today, and we've talked about this before, so wtf. I know I gave my kids 3-4 really sad Christmas seasons in a row while my wife was dying, and felt horribly guilty about it, but was unable to break out of my grief to turn things around (in retrospect they would have been sad Christmases for the kids anyway, regardless of my actions, but I was beating myself up about a lot of things at the time). Now, I think back, and yeah, they really were pretty sad fucking Christmases, but Christmas is only a day, and life moves on, and hopefully we are a little more healed the next time it rolls around. Hopefully.
I have really de-emphasized Christmas Day the last couple years. Enjoy the present opening, eat a good meal, watch a movie the kids got for Christmas. Enjoy those sweet and unexpected moments that occur during the season, because they are there to witness, if you are not blind to them. But mostly, don't feel the need to make Christmas perfect. It's not gonna be, and you (and your kids) are gonna get hit with some painful shit for awhile. Let it happen - it's gonna anyway. You will heal, so let that happen too. Christmas will never be the same. Accept it. It won't be as sad next year. And even less sad the year after that.
2017 will, I am sure, throw you some shit and try to break you (it has me, and it's barely fucking February). It won't break you. Be as strong as you can reasonably be, but realize you are human, and you have your limits, and sometimes you just can't be strong as you'd like, or think you need to be. Keep your head above water, and have faith that the stress will pass.
Feel free to write, dear.
(insert huge hug here, KK)
