Project Semi Colon: Lush Style

Quote by kiera
Hey, everyone. Sorry I've not been around much, just so busy with the kids and real life lately. Wanted to send you all hugs though.

I had a bit of a mind fuck recently. One of the things I considered after Paul (my late husband died) was finding out if he knew what was wrong with him. The Drs at the hospital certainly indicated that he must have. People close to me said it would do me no good to have that answer so on their advice I chose to leave it.

They were right; It does not do me any good to know. The kids and I were cleaning out the car at the weekend, and I found a load of letters from Drs he had hidden chasing him up for urgent liver function tests and missed appointments. All of them ignored. So he did know and chose to do nothing about it.

I'm pretty fucking angry right now. I try to understand his frame of mind and get that sometimes you don't want to be helped and it's easier to just bury your head in the sand, but for me, my beautiful children have always been enough for me to kick myself up the arse and deal with shit. Look at how much I have achieved in the last year, I didn't even know I could be that strong, and I did it all for them, and they are thriving.

I can't get my head around or seem to forgive him for not having the strength to do that for them. They were his kids too, and he put them through a loss like that rather than deal with his issues. Am I being too hard on him? Cause I have to tell you if he were here I would stab him in the eye or cock or wherever it would fucking hurt the most because they didn't have to go through that, he could have gotten help, and he chose not to.

It's my wedding anniversary Saturday, and I don't give a fuck. Really fucking angry right now. I didn't tell the kids what I'd found, but they knew something was up because I was furious. I still am. If one more person tells me he was doing it to protect me, I will fucking scream. He did no such thing; he did it because he was weak and a cock and because we were not important enough to him.

Yeah, I really didn't need to know this, my friends were right.

Rant over. Sorry.

On a positive note, we are off to Spain next Friday, and I am focusing on that instead of the utter betrayal of that weak arse sorry arse wankstain I was married too. I'm never going to shed another tear for that man ever again.

Quote by Castle4coochie
Just know I LOOOOVVVVEE y'all, and there ain't a damn thing y'all can do about it.

Quote by sprite


wow... you're right, there isn't! lol Feeling is mutual, Ms Castle!

Quote by IAMLOVE
I love you too, Castle!

On a very serious note, I was reminded by a beautiful and most kind lady that I am perfectly me.

And I am perfectly myself, from the time I was born until I die. And so are all of you. You were born perfectly you. (I'm not talking about perfection)

No matter how we grew up, no matter what physical limitations we have or any other kind, we are still perfectly us. That will never change, no matter what life has thrown at us.

I'm not saying we don't make mistakes, we all do. But whatever happened to us, isn't our fault.

It's so easy to beat ourselves up internally or even self-harm, get into bad habits. We do whatever we need to do to survive.

I just want to say, you, as pure as you were born, your essence and everything about you, can't be changed.

We can be hurt horribly, that isn't our fault.

So please be easy and kind to yourself. As I read somewhere, you will be the longest relationship you ever have your life.

Please take care, things do get better.

I love you all too.

(Thank you to all who have always shown support and love to me here, you get the credit of my knowledge. Thank you for your gift. You deserve so much credit. Thank you. I'm adding what I know and believe)

Quote by sprite


you are fucking amazing

Quote by Castle4coochie
I do not remember if I updated, and not going too scroll through. But last year my Dady was in a bad tractor accident, puncturing a lung, he was in ICU for a month. Today he is healed, and back at work. The Louisisana, hat dose burn his lung, on occasion.

Quote by IAMLOVE


I'm so glad to hear that, sweetie. That's wonderful!

Quote by Castle4coochie

Thank you Love

Quote by Castle4coochie
I do not remember if I updated, and not going too scroll through. But last year my Dady was in a bad tractor accident, puncturing a lung, he was in ICU for a month. Today he is healed, and back at work. The Louisisana, hat dose burn his lung, on occasion.

Quote by sprite

Quote by Whiskey_violet
Feeling a little lost and helpless...

I am a pretty private person and do not share a a lot with many people. Today is a different day.

Suicide is difficult to talk about, especially with children, no matter the age.

My seventeen year son received the tragic news Tuesday night, that his father had passed away. We got the call on Sunday morning that his father was in ICU, unresponsive and in a medically induced coma; they said his heart stopped. The social worker and his Grandmother told him, it was not looking good. My son had a difficult choice to make, fly to Ohio and say goodbye to his father or stay until here, until he passed and then attend the funeral. My son decided he did not want the last memory of his father to be in a hospital, hooked up to machines keeping him alive

My son started the grieving process and was on a roller coaster of emotions during this first couple of days. We were getting everything ready for him to fly out on Wednesday. He still had unanswered questions, after a phone call to his Grandmother, he was finally told that his father was found with a cord around his neck. The shock and confusion he felt was overwhelming and my sweet boy broke down in state of pure raw grief.

My thoughts are: no matter how painful the truth might be, please do not lie, or hold back information about how a parent has passed away. In trying to do what his father’s family was “best for my son”, they turned his world upside and sideways, with this information. The grieving processing he had stared, after the first call was washed away with the truth. He is now on a new path of grieving, one that has left him, angry, confused, heartbroken and extremely hurt.

As his mom, I hurt for him and want to help him through this. Honestly, I want to wrap him in my arms and never let him go. It’s unrealistic, I know. What I can do is get him to talk to with a grief therapist and be there for him and tell him how much I love him.

I know it gets said many times, but please, if you know anyone suffering from depression, please be there for them. Encourage them to talk with someone they trust or a professional. Depression is a ugly part of life and one that hits many homes across the world. One I wish with all my heart did not exist.


Take care of those you love and be kind to one another…

Quote by Castle4coochie
First of all, everything is fine now. On Sunday, my daddy I and were scouting, for hunting season. My black lab blue heeler mix Drake, was with us. Drake trips over a long buried barbed wire, it gets wrapped around his right hand once. Yes I call it hands. We went to the animal hospital, too see the Vet. Drake has a wrap, and stitches, i bring back in a few day too see if there in infection.

Quote by Castle4coochie
Thank you, he is healing. Took him in for a check up, there is no infection. Some mud had gotten in him, but was cleaned out. I threw my back out putting him in bed, but I' better too.

Quote by IAMLOVE


aw, geez I'm sorry honey. I'm glad he is better but you take it easy there, Miss Castle.

That sounds insanely painful. feel better soon!

Quote by Castle4coochie

Thanks again my mom is a nurse, she said it is just a strained muscle. It should be healed in a few more days