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Is it strange that if I have a daughter I would want her to be lesbian?
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Cheeky Chick
No, not weird. Men suck. Keep her far away from them.
Edit: I hope everyone knows I'm joking.
Edit: I hope everyone knows I'm joking.
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
I think it's very strange that you have a preferred sexuality for your daughter before you've even conceived one. There are equally shitty women out there. You could be the best judge of character there is, and you can still be taken in by a completely horrible person, regardless of their sex.
You should focus more on wanting your daughter to be happy and comfortable and secure with who she is as a person, and less on her sexual orientation. That way when she gets taken in by a douchedick (because it happens to us all at some point), she can bounce back. She'll be secure enough in herself to know that some people are dicks, but it doesn't make them all bad. And also that their dick-like tendencies are no reflection of her. And she'll be a lot less bitter.
You should focus more on wanting your daughter to be happy and comfortable and secure with who she is as a person, and less on her sexual orientation. That way when she gets taken in by a douchedick (because it happens to us all at some point), she can bounce back. She'll be secure enough in herself to know that some people are dicks, but it doesn't make them all bad. And also that their dick-like tendencies are no reflection of her. And she'll be a lot less bitter.
"What is the quality of your intent?" - Thurgood Marshall
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by AustinJ18
I don't want her to be interested in guys cause there are some really shitty guys out there as you all know. So how weird is it that I would rather her be lesbian? I don't think its weird at all but when I tell other people that they look at me like I'm crazy. What do you guys think?
I am sure that each of us would want our offspring to be a particular something or someone, based on our own ideals. But in raising a child, one must also remember that they are their own person, with their own character, personality, biology and emotions. You cannot make somebody something they are not, nor successfully change them.
Rather than trying to protect her, which is, I think, the focus of your preferred sexuality for her, instead look to the ways that you could teach her to be secure in herself, and how to react to the people around her. Teach her joy and wonder in the world around her. Allow her to make mistakes and friendships and space to spend time with people. Teach her her own self worth and help her pick up the pieces when she and her best friend fall out during playground time.
Yes, protect her. But don't think that her sexuality will keep her safe. It's how she chooses to deal with heartache and build or end relationships that will protect her, not you trying to keep her away from idiots. I know some immensely nasty and cruel women. If you knew them, perhaps you would wish your potential daughter had no sexuality at all.
Interpersonal skills, boundaries, communication and discernment are what will help keep her safe. Help her to explore who she is and how she will deal with the people around her. Don't think her sexuality will keep her safe from idiots. It won't. Ever.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
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You get what you get. Worrying about who and what they will be ahead of time is pointless because it's beyond your control. My son is a different mix of his mother and I and himself than I would probably have wanted or expected but part of the joy of being a parent is learning about your children.
What you contribute (besides your genes), as others have said, is teaching them what you can about the ways of the world. They may not seem to listen (I have a teenager) but generally at some point down the road, they will say or do something that makes you realize that it's sunk in. Prepare them for the bad but make sure they know there is also plenty of good. Making them cautious doesn't have to mean making them paranoid.
What you contribute (besides your genes), as others have said, is teaching them what you can about the ways of the world. They may not seem to listen (I have a teenager) but generally at some point down the road, they will say or do something that makes you realize that it's sunk in. Prepare them for the bad but make sure they know there is also plenty of good. Making them cautious doesn't have to mean making them paranoid.
Active Ink Slinger
Um hate to tell you this buttercup but there are some really shitty women out there too. And let me tell you there is little sympathy or support services available for same sex victims of and domestic violence. If you think she might never be treated like shit just because she is with a woman you are either very naive or totally sexist.
Teach your daughter to respect herself and to demand respect from those she allows into her life and heart. Being gay won't protect her from being a doormat but a strong sense of who she is and what she deserves will.
Teach your daughter to respect herself and to demand respect from those she allows into her life and heart. Being gay won't protect her from being a doormat but a strong sense of who she is and what she deserves will.
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami X
Quote by AustinJ18
I don't want her to be interested in guys cause there are some really shitty guys out there as you all know. So how weird is it that I would rather her be lesbian? I don't think its weird at all but when I tell other people that they look at me like I'm crazy. What do you guys think?
What an INCREDIBLY stupid statement!
Let me explain WHY by turning it around.
"If I had a son I'd hate it if he was gay..."
Let me further trundle down Idiot Avenue...
A person's sexuality is NO BUSINESS of anyone else, EVEN a parent. Loving parents want their kids to be HAPPY. Just that.
The ASSUMPTION that women who love women have an easier time of it? ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS???
WOMEN never hurt their lovers, either deliberately or through unfortunate circumstance? (How fucking young are you?)
Here's some advice. NEVER say this aloud again. Jesus, Man...
(Possibly the most ill-thought-out post I've EVER seen here!)
xx Steph
(Might I suggest an Emotional age limit in future? Gav, can you sort that?)
Active Ink Slinger
I think what you mean is you'd want her to be happy.
Wanting her to be a lesbian is pretty irrelevant.
Wanting her to be a lesbian is pretty irrelevant.
{allba115-feed-5eed-facedeadbeef}
Active Ink Slinger
Don't you all just love how the male 18 yr old mind works. Next stage must surely be abort male babies because they turn out shitty. Priceless!!
A TRUE story...
MANY years ago I worked for an LGBT newspaper.
One day, a female colleague of mine showed up at work with a black eye...
I asked what had happened. She explained that her and her girlfriend had enjoyed an evening out and she had walked her girl to the bus. As the bus arrived she kissed her lover goodnight. Just a goodnight kiss.
AS she walked home she was set upon by a group of GIRLS who had witnessed this. They beat the shit out of her.
THAT'S how easy it STILL is to be LBGT in a LOT of the world we live in.
It's GETTING better, (I hope...)
The HOMOPHOBIC premise of the initiator of this thread isn't fucking helping with that...
Ignorance IS NO EXCUSE!
xx Steph
MANY years ago I worked for an LGBT newspaper.
One day, a female colleague of mine showed up at work with a black eye...
I asked what had happened. She explained that her and her girlfriend had enjoyed an evening out and she had walked her girl to the bus. As the bus arrived she kissed her lover goodnight. Just a goodnight kiss.
AS she walked home she was set upon by a group of GIRLS who had witnessed this. They beat the shit out of her.
THAT'S how easy it STILL is to be LBGT in a LOT of the world we live in.
It's GETTING better, (I hope...)
The HOMOPHOBIC premise of the initiator of this thread isn't fucking helping with that...
Ignorance IS NO EXCUSE!
xx Steph
Story Verifier
So, in much the same way that lots of women think gay men are all really nice, but in fact they're just not trying to get into our pants and they treat the guys they're trying to fuck more or less like straight men act toward women (yes, the whole spectrum of behavior), it goes like that for lesbians too. Hope that doesn't offend anybody, but it's absolutely been my experience.
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Quote by WhiteQueensKnight
So, in much the same way that lots of women think gay men are all really nice, but in fact they're just not trying to get into our pants and they treat the guys they're trying to fuck more or less like straight men act toward women (yes, the whole spectrum of behavior), it goes like that for lesbians too. Hope that doesn't offend anybody, but it's absolutely been my experience.
Honestly expressed!
All Gay men aren't sensitive and lovely. (Lots are...)
All Lesbian women aren't man-hating dykes... (Well... Some are...)
(Add your own cliche here.....)
All PEOPLE are PEOPLE... (No matter WHAT you are or WHO you do...)
xx SF
(Does this poster have any GAY male friends? Does he have friends? Does he KNOW what he's trying to talk about?)
I would have THOUGHT a young American man who has been (obviously) educated to the point where he finds and talks to US upon Lush might have more sense...
I await with interest his response and of course I will respect it.
Active Ink Slinger
Come on now, the guy is only 18 don't be too harsh on him. He will learn.
Wild at Heart
Who wants to deal with some guy and his filthy penis around their daughter?
Quote by dpw
Come on now, the guy is only 18 don't be too harsh on him. He will learn.
With REAL respect, I disagree...
Issues like Racism, Homophobia, Fascism, Fundamentalism, Ignorant Intolerance etc. need to be (metaphorically) STOMPTED on...
18 is old enough to know better. (Not okay is ALWAYS not okay!)
This young man HAD the opportunity to respond. (I invited him to.)
Unsurprisingly, he didn't.
xx SF
Active Ink Slinger
I think that your daughters sexual orientation should be up to her
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by stephanie
With REAL respect, I disagree...
Issues like Racism, Homophobia, Fascism, Fundamentalism, Ignorant Intolerance etc. need to be (metaphorically) STOMPTED on...
18 is old enough to know better. (Not okay is ALWAYS not okay!)
This young man HAD the opportunity to respond. (I invited him to.)
Unsurprisingly, he didn't.
xx SF
Ok the guy has left the site. However although his comment was peurile and ridiculous, I don't think they fell into any of your categories. Certainly not homophobic, quite the opposite in fact. He was probably not wanting a daughter to end up with a guy like himself. I would hope the girls might see him as he sees himself and avoid him. Although if it was his pic on his profile he was so cute I think they'll be queuing up. Kind of reassuring that such a looker has such low intelligence- sort of evens things out. Lol
Quote by dpw
Ok the guy has left the site. However although his comment was peurile and ridiculous, I don't think they fell into any of your categories. Certainly not homophobic, quite the opposite in fact. He was probably not wanting a daughter to end up with a guy like himself. I would hope the girls might see him as he sees himself and avoid him. Although if it was his pic on his profile he was so cute I think they'll be queuing up. Kind of reassuring that such a looker has such low intelligence- sort of evens things out. Lol
He ASSUMED that Lesbians, (by virtue of being just that) experience life differently.
That's homophobic.
(He DID look cute though!)
I'm SORRY I frightened him away!
He'll come back... (They always do, Honey!)
xx Steph
(And Thank You DPW for your intelligence... And humour!)
(x)
Active Ink Slinger
If I ever have kids I guess from a comfort level would like to have a girl and lesbian but as long as he/she is happy I'm good