My first time with a guy was right after I graduated high school. He was a coworker, a few years older, and had been flirting with me for weeks. One day he asked me over to his house to "watch a movie" since his parents were out. I knew exactly what that meant, and I was pretty much freaking out and excited at the same time.
We ended up just talking on his couch for a bit before he asked if he could kiss me. The second our lips met, it just clicked. I knew this was what I wanted. He went down on me first, but I couldn't get off. I was pretty embarrassed about it, and honestly, I still have a hard time cumming from just oral.
When I went down on him, though, he shot his load rather quickly. It caught me by surprise. I’d only just started trying my own cum after jacking off, so I wasn’t ready for his and I spit it out. Super awkward. I would never spit now.
It was a good first time, all things considered. We hooked up a few more times that summer, but it wasn't going anywhere. I told him I wanted to explore my feminine side, and that was a dealbreaker for him. He was into the "twink" thing, but not me actually wanting to be a girl. Still, I’m glad it happened. It was a huge part of me figuring out who I am.
