Lush Limericks

This thread needs a kick in the butt

Write verses either clean or with smut

So get off your ass

And post some cute sass

And get this out of a rut!

If rutting's the name of your game

Then this site is just right for your fame

With sucks, licks, and splashes

Plus cocks, slits, and lashes

And action that's far from just tame!

A satin collar she wore

As she knelt there right on the floor

Just 'twixt my thighs

Looking me in the eyes

As she thrilled me right to the core

A smelly older man came

He looked like one who is lame

A sack for a bag

He yelled with a nag

His image is on the Wall of Shame.

Myrrhhhhhh is one we have missed

She's very hard to resist

My Partner in Crime

And a Sis of mine

At you, you don't want her pissed!

Quote by Myrrhhhhhh

A smelly older man came

He looked like one who is lame

A sack for a bag

He yelled with a nag

His image is on the Wall of Shame.

--

Oh, I could take this and run

Making Rob the butt of this fun

But I shall not

'Cause I like him alot

And love the rhymes that he's spun

This is completely insane.

I have no real claim to fame.

Lim'ricker broken

Rhymes left unspoken.

That's the name of the game.

A limerick's a kind of a poem

And smart-asses are the ones who all know 'em

They're short and they're punchy

About pants that are bunch–y

And boys exploring bushes with a comb!

Boys with a comb are frustrated

Since bush is no more celebrated

It's now the fashion

For skin to skin passion

And pussies must be depilated

.

It was not like that in my day

When, with my girlfriends I'd play

"Keep looking Rob

"You're doing a good job

"It's down in there somewhere," they'd say.

Quote by dlcalguy

Boys with a comb are frustrated

Since bush is no more celebrated

It's now the fashion

For skin to skin passion

And pussies must be depilated

.

It was not like that in my day

When, with my girlfriends I'd play

"Keep looking Rob

"You're doing a good job

"It's down in there somewhere," they'd say.

.

And when finally I cut through the bush,

I was delighted to find pussy AND tush

My dick was so hard

It stretched quite a yard,

So lined it up, then gave it a push!

A bush is now mere decoration.

For enhanced oral celebration.

Sculpted hairs is the style

Makes dicks long as a mile.

That's my outstanding declaration.

Quote by Sandra47

A bush is now mere decoration.

For enhanced oral celebration.

Sculpted hairs is the style

Makes dicks long as a mile.

That's my outstanding declaration.

.

I declare that, bushy or bare

A pussy is worth more than a stare

A lick and a tongue

By a guy who is hung

And a home for a boner, I swear!

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

.

I declare that, bushy or bare

A pussy is worth more than a stare

A lick and a tongue

By a guy who is hung

And a home for a boner, I swear!

.

The shortest of hairs that surround

A phallus, can really astound.

A girl who is smitten,

Purrs just like a kitten.

For dicks that appear quite profound.

Just me it may be, perhaps

But I've always thought that chaps

Should likewise be bare-

Sans pubic hair

To not muffle those intense pelvic slaps

There was a man of Barcelona

Who suffered a permanent boner

He said with a frown

It just will not go down

She's been sucking as long as I've known 'er

The blindfold fit her quite well

Along with the plug in her tail

Pink cuffs on her wrists

(On those she insists)

To satisfy she'll never fail

This thread has become a bit stale

We're in quite dire want of a tale

Smutty or not

Precious or hot

I just know that you will prevail!

I may not be able to help

Despite your appeal for help-yelp

Though I've got a nice tail

It don't qualify as a tale

Unless it's about a polar bear welp

And my rhyming has been known to be wanting

Despite online dictionaries I've been haunting

To find the right word

That isn't absurd

But sometimes things get stuck and it just doesn't work out quite the way I was…hoping?

Lost in a dream, feeling elated,

Sweaty, with rolling hips gyrated.

A playmate or two,

Keeps everything new,

A lust that is readily sated.

A young Chinese man from Shandong

Had a cock that was three meters long

He searched all of China

For a fitting vagina

But he settled for cows, which was wrong

There was a young fella of Kent

Who had one so long that it bent

To save himself trouble

He twisted it double

But instead of coming, he went!

A petite young lady called May

Went for a roll in the hay

With her friend Kate

It was quite great

And now all they do is play

A woman remarkable was Ann

Of any task she said "I can"

With strap-on in hand

She laid out her plan

And that's where her legend began

There once was a woman named Lynn

Who never committed a sin

Blissfully pure

Never to lure

My lies are given away with a grin.

A naive young whore in Madras,

Enticed all the men as they passed.

But she got her cummuppance

When for an extra tuppence,

A punter requested her ass.

Her screams could be heard in Lahore,

As he pushed himself in more and more.

When he couldn’t hold back,

And he came in her crack,

She went limping back home, very sore.

I have a Doll, delightful

Who pleases me something frightful

All limits are lost

Along with clothes, tossed

As is, of course, just rightful!

When the priest met a nun who was willing

To try something naughty and thrilling

They started the fun

With her playing the bun

And him taking care of the filling

A rather submissive young lady

Said "I'm not a bit 'fraidy"

"So bring on the cuffs"

"Like pink powder puffs"

"And do what you will, Milady"

A horny old fellow named Roger

Scared a young maid with his todger

She climbed up a tree

Yelling "get away from me!"

And nothing he did could dislodge her.