Quote by BlueEyes031886
Unfortunately, I always get my signals crossed. I meet a girl I want to be friends with and she was just looking to get laid and I didn't pick up on it until it was too late... or I meet a girl who just wants to be friends and I'm just looking to get laid.
Why would it be selfish, it's not like I'm out there trying to lead a girl on just to sleep with her. Can you honestly tell me that women never just want a good fuck and nothing more? Unfulfilling, I can agree with. I'd much rather meet someone with a deeper meaning to our relationship, but let's face it. I'm getting nowhere with anyone.
Concerning how to approach girls generally, really your best 'strategy' is to display both a friendly and flirtatious attitude ; one does not exclude the other at all. Of course, this is according to what the girl inspires you ; don't act overly friendly/flirtatious if you don't want them as a friend/lover in the first place. That way you offer her the two possibilities, and can act accordingly depending on how she reacts to each. If she reacts positively to your flirtatious moves, fine - you just found a potential lover/fuckbuddy. If she doesn't follow that lead, don't insist (much) and see if she at least reacts to your friendly approach. If she reacts positively, fine - you just found a potential friend. If she doesn't react to either, fine - you won't lose any time daydreaming helplessly about her.
As to what being 'flirtatious' means exactly, it can depend on a lot of things. You won't 'flirt' the same way with an extrovert girl in a club than you would with a timid girl in a work environment. The same 'moves' will not be interpreted the same in each scenario, so it's very situation dependant. Simply act 'casually audacious'. Again, being audacious will have a different meaning according to the situation. Basically, just show her that 'you're a man and she's a lady', and that there's a possibility there for something to happen. Just don't act naively with this 'I reaaally didn't notice you were a sexy person of the opposite sex' attitude. In a way, this will even put her off from becoming your friend as she will somehow perceive that you have hidden intentions. Or she will see you as a submissive asexual male, and might grant you a 'doormat' status.
I also disagree with Kal-El85 about how "friendship should be first on your brain". Friendship should be on your brain, but flirting and sexual desires should too if you intend to pursue sexual/romantic goals. As I've said, one does not exclude the other, and there's absolutely nothing wrong about having sexual desires for a girl (as long as you don't expose those desires in an overly apparent manner). Just don't insist if she's not interested in you sexually or romantically.
Personally, I always maintain the 'I'm a man and you're a lady' attitude, even with female friends. This is not meant for flirting (though it might raise your chances if you wish something more later), but only to keep the relationship clear and sane. This is just a way to show her that even if she's a real friend and that you're mature/thoughtful enough to control your sexual urges, you're still a man that should not be 'provoked' carelessly. In a way, this also shows her that your friendship is equal and that you also can demand some respect : "I'm respectful enough not to hint at anything sexual, could you please show me enough respect and not jump into my arms, and rub your titties agaisnt me whenever you need moral support?". This will also help you maintain a manly and respectable image of yourself ; being friends with a girl doesn't mean you suddenly become an asexual moron.
