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Hello I'm getting tired of wearing jeans because I have a big cock and it's hard

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thegamer
Rookie Scribe
Hello I'm getting tired of wearing jeans because I have a big cock and it's hard
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Stop wearing jeans. problem solved. i know, i'm amazing, right?

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
My practical and efficient disposition would advise you to avoid extraneous words and simply use stripped-down sentences regarding whatever it is you wish to express.

There, I'm feeling generous:

"I have a big cock and it's hard."
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
Quote by sprite
Stop wearing jeans. problem solved. i know, i'm amazing, right?


You didn't just advise a horny newcomer to parade around without his pants?

Sprite...
Beffer
Rainbow Warrior
Most jeans have zippers or buttons in front. Just undo them and let it hang out. Why do I have to think of everything?
Nikki703
Active Ink Slinger
Get bigger jeans!
naughtyannie
God Empress of Lush
I have a large pair of scissors that will soon solve your problem.

Why not join my popular Lush Group One Tit Out Group | Lush Stories? For all those who enjoy pictures of women showing just one boob. Lots of cheeky flashes and accidental slips. Come on, you know you want to! Annie xxx
kylie_kained
Detention Seeker
Wear a bag of ice tied around it with a skirt
Melissa999
Υπηρέτης της Αφροδίτης
The tone of some of these threads is pathetic and utterly pointless bullshit.
In the world's harsh wear and tear many a very sincere attachment is slowly obliterated.


Είμαι ταξιδιώτης τόσο στο χρόνο όσο και στο διάστημα
samg61
Active Ink Slinger
Make a time machine - go back in time and have your mom mate with a irish man. It worked from my mom and me
Dani
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Submitting this thread for Lush canonization.

I know it's early in the game, but I know a classic when I see it.

"What is the quality of your intent?" - Thurgood Marshall
LaylaJune
Fancy Schmancy
Quote by Dani
Submitting this thread for Lush canonization.

I know it's early in the game, but I know a classic when I see it.



On the mantle, right next to the clit-fart thread
Dani
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Quote by thegamer
Hello I'm getting tired of wearing jeans because I have a big cock and it's hard


If your erection persists for more than 4 hours, call the number on the back of the box.

"What is the quality of your intent?" - Thurgood Marshall
Guest
Lurker
I wonder where he keeps his brains!!
69Kisses96
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by KindOfHeart
I wonder where he keeps his brains!!


Now that could be the opposite problem there.
SummerLeigh
Candyland Kitten
Like when you try to scratch your ankle and you end up scratching your penis. That must suck balls. Well, assuming someone can get at them.
simplyjohn
Site administrator
Strap it to your waist.
Unknown User
If you must keep a cock in your jeans then you should allow it room to breathe and wander freely.
Obviously you didn't and now it is dead which is probably why it has gone hard. I believe the technical term is Rigor Mortis.
Don't worry though, it will soften in time and you will be able to pluck it.
Unless, of course it smells, in which case it has begun to decompose and you should remove it from your jeans immediately and dispose of the carcass.

You see? I can write crap too!
Guest
Lurker
It is because of the cock who wanted to become a bull. You know, just like a cock and bull story.
Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
I feel your pain.
simplyjohn
Site administrator
Quote by Annamagique
If you must keep a cock in your jeans then you should allow it room to breathe and wander freely.
Obviously you didn't and now it is dead which is probably why it has gone hard. I believe the technical term is Rigor Mortis.
Don't worry though, it will soften in time and you will be able to pluck it.
Unless, of course it smells, in which case it has begun to decompose and you should remove it from your jeans immediately and dispose of the carcass.

You see? I can write crap too!


Thats Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!... likely explaination however smile.
Guest
Lurker
Ok ok so your HUNG for a field mouse.... bwahaha
Cattywolf
Active Ink Slinger
Let's amputate.
For generations our ancestors fought proudly as warriors against the Jedi. Reclaim our armored past for an unending future.
PhilU
Forum Kan-Guru
Quote by Dani


If your erection persists for more than 4 hours, call the number on the back of the box.


Actually, depending on the cause, a guy should be seeking medical attention at the four hour mark, as permanent scarring can occur. So, OP, take your issue to the emergency room (wearing loose pants if that's easier). They can treat it for you, quite possibly by ""aspiration of blood from the corpus cavernosum" (hint: that involves a big needle in your "big cock"). Then you should be able to wear jeans comfortably again.

You're welcome.
elizabethblack
Awesome Lady
A few ideas:

#1 - just hold it



#2 work at reducing it, but be careful not to cut off anything really important



#3 Have it relocated




#4 Don't worry about it - it will find it's way