Now that the end of term has come and we are on holiday I have a special message for all the students I have taught this year. I would like to say that it has been a pleasure teaching you and that I look forward to continuing your education next academic year.
Unfortunately, I can't. I can't wait until you leave and I will never have to see your arrogant spotty faces again.
You may think that education is a waste of time and that you have more important things to do. You may think your teachers are pathetic losers for punishing you for not getting on with your work. What you don't know is that they slog their guts out to produce lessons that will entice and interest you. They spend their own money on producing resources to try and instil in you a lifelong love of learning and you, you pathetic bunch of losers, just throw it back in their faces.
I realise that you expect to leave school with no qualifications and immediately be offered a huge salary for doing fuck all, or (for the girls) marrying someone very rich. Unfortunately, that is unlikely to happen.
Nobody offers you lots of money for doing nothing unless you went to a top public school. Tough, guys, you're in a run down comprehensive on a shitty council estate in the arsehole of nowhere. It just aint gonna happen. Oh, and girls, I appreciate that you're going to marry someone wealthy but, unfortunately, you have to be actually attractive. More make-up doesn't mean more attractive unless you find someone with a fetish for clowns or, in some cases - Pandas (and yes, Courtney, I am referring to you!)
Also could I point out that few of you are talented enough to win X-factor, or even enter it for that matter and, in the whole history of the school, only one ex-pupil has become famous and, let's be honest, being well known on YouTube as a porn actress isn't actually anything to shout about.
Being a bank robber, a drug dealer or a call girl are also not career options I'd recommend (yes, I know your mother is a "working girl", Cally, but that still doesn't make it a job I'd recommend and no, I am not "dissin' yo mama." Why do you talk like that anyway, you're neither black nor, given your appalling attempt at poetry in English, a rapper. Oh, and while I am on the subject, using the N word is racist no matter how you spell it!)
Yes, I understand that prison may appear to be a cushy number where you get everything you want, that's certainly the way the newspapers report it but, having visited a few ex-pupils in my time, I think you'll find the reality a little different. Okay, I'm a teacher so obviously you don't believe me but ask your dad/uncle/stepdad/mother's pimp next time you visit him.
Similarly, a lifetime on the dole is not as great as it sounds and, although it seems like a fortune to you now, the amount you get in benefit is actually a pittance when you have to pay bills. You would realise this only you weren't listening when they covered this in PSHE. Okay, so you are going to live at home where you mummy can continue to wipe your bottom but, just remember, one day she'll either die or get as sick of your bullshit as I am and kick you out. Then you'll be alone and have to actually do things for yourself.
Thirty years from now you are going to be sat in some seedy pub moaning about how no one ever gave you a chance. Well listen up -
This is your chance and you're fucking it up!
All names have been changed to protect the guilty
to whoever it was that decided it was okay to start smoking in the middle of the movie theater last night: i really really really hope you get diagnosed with lung cancer. i don't wish that upon people cause i have seen just how long and strung out and agonizing that shit is. but you most certainly can have it. i understand that it was a long movie. and it was a midnight premiere. but seriously. go fuck yourself. if you cant go more than and hour and fifty minutes without a cig, dont go to a movie that is over ninety minutes.
If you choose to open a fucking Chatroom open to the public where your target members are women don't call the fucking room "Who wants to be impregnated". You are an idiot.
Dear Neighbor,
Are you really that brain dead to ask me if what my 5yr old kid said to your 5yr old kid was true?
He's 5. Not that I care, but really?
Did you get him to put his hand on the bible and make him swear it was truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Did you think asking me in front of everyone would make me deny it? Or feel bad about it?
Did you hear the other parents gasp? I'm not quite sure if it was because of my answer or that they couldn't believe the fucking nerve you had to ask it in front of 50 people.
The next time you pull a stunt like this in front of crowd I will fire with both barrels.
1. It's true. I don't like you. I said so. It's not my fault you thought I was joking. I laugh and smile when someone pisses me off. I can't help it. I laughed because I'm secretly thinking in my head what a fucking moron you are but how it wouldn't be appropriate to say it out loud.
2. You're a fucking pig. Lazy, disgusting, slob, whatever you want to call it, you're a fucking mess. Go brush your teeth and comb your greasy fucking hair. Maybe try washing your clothes once a week. That white NHL hockey shirt you wear 24/7 is GREY!
3. No. My kid will never set foot in your house for a play date with your kid. You have MOLD on your ceiling. You have a fucking science project growing on your counter underneath MOUNDS of dirty dishes and other things I couldn't identify. And that's what I could see from the doorway.
4. Your house SMELLS of cat piss. And like a sewer backed up in it. Your husband should be ashamed of himself. You need serious help. BOTH of you. My barnyard is cleaner.
5. Your holier-than-thou attitude can get checked at the door. I don't give a fuck if you were the prom queen in high school. I tried to help you on a few occasions and you were a righteous bitch. Take you bible and ram jam it up your arse. I don't NEED to go to church. Or spout gospel. Or tell people they're going to burn in hell. I don't care. This is Canada. I'd like someplace warm when I die.
6. Your child is more than welcome to come to my house. I will feed and bathe him and make sure he's safe. I am not that fucking pathetic. He's a good kid. Let's hope you don't screw this one up.
So the next time you feel you should drag our kids into it, at least have the decency to not do it in front of the entire PTA.
I really don't give a fuck what you think of me, but I am sitting in the vice chair so show a little tact and respect. Or I won't the next time.
You stupid, fecking, bastardy, pooface, knobheady, evil little git! I am NOT that tasty! Do you realise you make me swell up not-in-the-fun way when you bite me? Your crap stays with me for weeks on end and I HATE you! I still have your nasty little bites on my feet from weeks ago when you decided I am a nommy treat. I have news for you. I AM BITTER! I am bitter and twisted and sour and if I see any of your crappy little whiney family, I will squash them too, just like I squashed you, you WORD-I-HAVEN'T-INVENTED-YET-BUT-IT'S-BAD!
Bollocky mosquitos, I HATE you! This is England FFS! It's meant to be raining and cold, and instead we have this horrible, horrible heatwave and all the bastardy mosquitos. I wish I lived in Snowland.
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Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
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********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
i want my life back. i want to be able to step outside and not be paralyzed with fear. i want to get through just one hour of one day without crying. i want to have normal conversations about normal things. i want the hurt inside to fade like the bruises. i want someone to tell me it's going to be better and believe them. i want to laugh and not having it sound like it's forced. i want to turn back the clock and change everything that happened. i want to stop hurting so much. i want to be able to breath again and to not jump at every sound or touch. i want my life back.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
How many fucking times do I have to say it? If you get a bottle of water out of the refrigerator replace it with another so the next person has a cold bottle to drink. And for fucks sake, clean up after yourself! It only takes one minute to wipe something up.
Fuck... Off...
No, it's not that time of the month.
I'm just in a bad fucking mood. My day is not going according to plan.
I should've stayed in bed. My luck the fucking bed would break. Or the house would catch fire. Or it would flood. Or something equally horrific would happen. Everything I try to do today is turning to absolute shit!
So the next insensitive asshole that asks me if I'm ragging it is gonna get a punch in the head... with a brick!! GRRRR!!
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Fuck everything. Fuck every single thing in this world. Turn over a rock, and fuck whatever the fuck you find underneath, too. Fuck.
"What is the quality of your intent?" - Thurgood Marshall
The fuck is wrong with every company putting shitty music on when you're on hold? It makes my ears burn! Why the fuck can't you put some decent music on, something that won't make me want to jump off a cliff because the fall would probably be a lot more comfortable than listening to this shite they call music. Can't they for once, just one time, just not have waiting music? Just create a system that allows them to call back up when there's someone available. It's there! Use it!
Also, what's wrong with oversensitive people on here? They hear one phrase and can't be bothered to read the rest. They don't get a joke! They get all pissy and go crying and can't even bother to read the rest which will actually put things into context. LISTEN YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!
And all this time I thought this thread was the RIB cage and I was going to say: Women, you can't live with 'em and you can't stick 'em back in your rib cage. But of course I don't really believe women came from rib cages and my poor deceased mother would have taken a maple switch to my ass for suggesting such.F11mflRGJ2sRDFBZ
this thread seems to be so haphazard !!!!
Rage is a part of one's self...like a well trained pet dog... which can be let lose of people who are intimidating.... i keep my dog very much in control but.....we all have our limits for everything....
I'm posting in red 'cause I get fucking livid at the assholes who complain about the government and when you ask them how they voted reply "Oh I don't vote, it won't make a difference"Well then, go complain about the fucking weather, you won't make a difference there either. Actually, I'm glad they didn't vote as they don't know shit about what's going on.
Okay, I'm a political junkie, but this country as going down a rathole unless people get off their ass and quit with their hand out "Where's mine" attitude and start paying attention.
IGNORANCE. FOR FUCK SAKE, if you dont know about a situation, or don't understand a situation, you do not get ANY right to make any kind of statement on "how easy it is"
FUCK FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCKING MOTHER FUCK.
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Who the feck is going to buy this fecking bunting anyway? I HATE not knowing. 
