A elderly woman went to the doctor for a physical examination.
After which the doctor, sighed and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news... You have terminal cancer. You'd best put your affairs in order."
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter was sitting, waiting for her.
"Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are going well, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't going so well. I have terminal cancer. So... let's head to the bar and have a margarita."
After 3 or 4 margaritas, the two were feeling a little less somber. They had a few laughs and a few more margaritas.
They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.
The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, "I've been diagnosed with AIDS."
The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, "Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?"
"Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone."
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