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Ruin a date in 5 words
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1.4k replies
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❤️️🌹Elusive Enigma 🌹❤️️
I've changed since my exorcism.
Kissing your lips while straddling your lap.
❤️️🌹Elusive Enigma 🌹❤️️
I think my water broke.
Kissing your lips while straddling your lap.
Senior Analyst
This eyeball is glass. See?
❤️️🌹Elusive Enigma 🌹❤️️
I was abducted by aliens.
Kissing your lips while straddling your lap.
Mystical Dragonfly
seriously, I have to pay
PLEASE READ MY COMP. STORY
.. https://www.lushstories.com/stories/occupations/-quickie-in-the-parking-booth-.aspx
Active Ink Slinger
Is a leaky penis normal?
(There are some hilarious responses in here!)
(There are some hilarious responses in here!)
Senior Analyst
I bet our panties match!
❤️️🌹Elusive Enigma 🌹❤️️
I bypassed your alarm system.
Kissing your lips while straddling your lap.
Active Ink Slinger
I can smell your vagina...
❤️️🌹Elusive Enigma 🌹❤️️
Is that a hair transplant?
Kissing your lips while straddling your lap.
Active Ink Slinger
Forget to bleach your mustache?
❤️️🌹Elusive Enigma 🌹❤️️
You almost caught me spying
Kissing your lips while straddling your lap.
Prolific Writer
I had a lobotomy yesterday.
Fancy Schmancy
Double order of kimchi, please. 
Senior Analyst
You smell like my Nana.
Fancy Schmancy
My oozing sores aren't contagious
Prolific Writer
Been to prison last year.
Senior Analyst
Needing other people is STUPID.
Convict
where are your teeth dude?
My new Flash Fiction:
An Extraordinary Orgasm.
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/flash-erotica/an-extraordinary-orgasm-2
Prolific Writer
Your breath is really gross....
Convict
Do you bite your toenails?
My new Flash Fiction:
An Extraordinary Orgasm.
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/flash-erotica/an-extraordinary-orgasm-2
Active Ink Slinger
Will you father my baby?