I've written about it but never actually done the strap-on thing for real. Vibrators, yes but not harnessed to me.
I know girls who have and they've enjoyed it.
Obviously, I screech in ticklish protest but I love the feel of a warm tongue licking down there (by accident he says - yeah right!!)
Never really noticed - good lubrication is much more important than anything else.
I wrote a story about this once - a girl provided some naughty holiday photos for a guy at work to wank over - that was based on something that happened to me. I was flattered (the guy was jokey about it - it wasn't even a rude pic!) I don't think it's weird.
"Here, Mister - your fly is open."
This argument has a fundamental flaw:
The kinds of people you're talking about - who do the 'read and refund' thing - almost certainly wouldn't buy your book in the first place if they couldn't return it. Forget about them, they are a waste of your time and effort.
Amazon aren't the enemy. They hate refunds too; just as much as us and just as much as every other shop. Don't forget that they lose their money on the sale too and refunds are a pain in their ass. It's a service that their customers want and it's a service that INCREASES overall sales. Amazon aren't stupid. The vast majority of their customers don't behave as described above and a lot of customers buy things with the safety net of being able to return them that they wouldn't otherwise buy.
If you don't want to see refunds, sell through Smashwords - once you get a sale there, it stays sold.
If you don't want to give your books away on Amazon through promotions, you're missing a trick by not publishing through Smashwords anyway - it doesn't take long (30 mins) to reformat an ebook for their 'meatgrinder' and the Smashwords keyword search is vastly superior to Amazon's, making your ebooks much easier to find (and thereby sell).
'Secret' to selling books? Write a great book that people want to read. Best marketing tool? Write another one.
Everything else is just pulling at threads and hoping.
I know a lovely old gent. Sadly his wife died some years ago, however their relationship was a scandal back in the day. He was a geography teacher and one of his female pupils took a shine to him. He wasn't sure how to handle the situation but managed to put her off by saying that it was unprofessional and he wouldn't so much as entertain her advances while she was at school. The day she left school, she turned-up on his doorstep and refused to take no for an answer. She dragged him to the bedroom; then dragged him to the altar - despite everyone's disapproval, they lived a happy lifetime together. He was her first and only and she was his.
All the mods get a vote from me - but special mention needs to go to One_Winged_Angel for giving my first story its approval and Lisa for giving me my first Lush rejection.
"It was bliss having his disco stick rammed inside me again; stuffing my split peach with a 15" spiked vibrator just didn't get my vibrator crater gushing like it used to. He munched on my beef curtains, even though I'd been riding the cotton pony for the best part of a week. With his clunger thrusting deep into my penis pothole, the sensation of his stilton spear smashing my cervix made me quiver like Vanessa Feltz's diesel-powered vibrator. I awoke the next morning with my salmon slit still flowing. I thought it was over but his cumtree had other ideas. After having my smush mitten pounded, he then proceeded to plow my shit winker."
Marvellous stuff!
I remember when I first saw him.
I would have thought 'an ecstasy' of erotic writers would be most apt.
Absolutely brilliant. Everyone should do that!!
Not bothered about the older / younger part. It's the 'Gentleman' part which is important to me.
Receiving is fun but men are way too hairy back there...
If it was my BF, certainly; otherwise, certainly not.
You could do with reading some new stories. I'd suggest that you start by popping "big breasts" into Lush's 'Search Stories' up there at the top right hand corner of the website. If you find that you like stories, leave comments for the authors and read their other work.
Thanks for that. I've found a good way to remove my darlings without 'killing' them: anything which I like but doesn't work gets cut-and-pasted into a word document. I just checked and that document is 78000 words and counting.
Of course, it's extremely satisfying when text gets cut-and-pasted the other way!!
My BF has a special kind of worship for me whenever I get down on my knees... 
