Birdie... because I used to be terribly shy when I was younger... just sitting in the corner, observing. So, I'm Little Birdie because, I may not say a lot... but I sure have seen a lot!
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Birdie
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 47
0 miles · Indiana
Forum
Shenanigans
Seeker
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to
borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the
loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,
she has the title and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the
blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground
garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very
happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies..... "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two
weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Finally, a smart blonde joke!
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to
borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the
loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,
she has the title and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the
blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground
garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very
happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies..... "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two
weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Finally, a smart blonde joke!
Only 1? Just kill me.
I just LOVE this little guy!
Seeker
1. What is your favourite word?
Splendoriffic
2. What is your least favourite word?
Whatever
3. What turns you on?
Hands that wander my skin from head to toe and eyes that say, I love you.
Little things, like being given a single flower or finding an unexpected note hidden somewhere.
Australian accents *drool*
4. What turns you off?
Someone sticking their tongue in my ear...or blowing in it. Having my tits, ass, or crotch grabbed
like someone is trying to pick out fruit. Dont molest me, love me.
5. What sound or noise do you love?
A thunderstorm with light rain and low rumbles of thunder, the tick tock of the clock next to my bed,
crickets, waterfalls, birds, breaking glass, windchimes, my little girls giggles.
HIS VOICE
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound of an entire box of cereal being dumped on the kitchen floor, the sound of the water
running in the bathroom behind a locked door and three sets of giggles to go with it.
SpongeBob's laugh.
Silence....followed by, "Uh-Oh"
Car Alarms
7. What is your favourite curse word?
HOLY CRAP!! (I know, I totally live on the edge.)
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Child psychology, home improvement, Interior Decorating
9. What profession would you not like to do?
Housewife
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear your God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You Are Forgiven, Come On In, Free Chocolate, Your Mother Would Like To Say Hello....
Splendoriffic
2. What is your least favourite word?
Whatever
3. What turns you on?
Hands that wander my skin from head to toe and eyes that say, I love you.
Little things, like being given a single flower or finding an unexpected note hidden somewhere.
Australian accents *drool*
4. What turns you off?
Someone sticking their tongue in my ear...or blowing in it. Having my tits, ass, or crotch grabbed
like someone is trying to pick out fruit. Dont molest me, love me.
5. What sound or noise do you love?
A thunderstorm with light rain and low rumbles of thunder, the tick tock of the clock next to my bed,
crickets, waterfalls, birds, breaking glass, windchimes, my little girls giggles.
HIS VOICE
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound of an entire box of cereal being dumped on the kitchen floor, the sound of the water
running in the bathroom behind a locked door and three sets of giggles to go with it.
SpongeBob's laugh.
Silence....followed by, "Uh-Oh"
Car Alarms
7. What is your favourite curse word?
HOLY CRAP!! (I know, I totally live on the edge.)
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Child psychology, home improvement, Interior Decorating
9. What profession would you not like to do?
Housewife
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear your God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You Are Forgiven, Come On In, Free Chocolate, Your Mother Would Like To Say Hello....
Seeker
One of my girls invited me out. I promised my husband I'd be home by midnight. Hours passed and margaritas went down way too easy.
Around 3 AM (a bit loaded) I headed home. Just as I got in the cuckoo clock chimed 3 times. Afraid my hubby would wake I quickly cockooed 9 more times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick witted solution. The next morning he asked what time I got in.
I said, "MIDNIGHT!" He seemed fine so I thought I'd gotten away with it.
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked why he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, said "Oh shit", cuckooed 4 times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed 3 times again, giggled, cuckooed twice more, then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
Around 3 AM (a bit loaded) I headed home. Just as I got in the cuckoo clock chimed 3 times. Afraid my hubby would wake I quickly cockooed 9 more times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick witted solution. The next morning he asked what time I got in.
I said, "MIDNIGHT!" He seemed fine so I thought I'd gotten away with it.
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked why he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, said "Oh shit", cuckooed 4 times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed 3 times again, giggled, cuckooed twice more, then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
