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Birdie
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 47
0 miles · Indiana
Forum
Seeker
Thanks everyone. Once I get through tomorrow I should be okay. I actually have plans, since I can get unemployment, to stay home for at least a month and do some interior decorating. We moved into this house almost a year ago and I have been so busy working that I have not had a chance to personalize the house...all I have been able to do is clean, clean, clean.
Chef, can I come stay with you a while?
And I am sure that millions of dollars went into the research. Geesh...
Seeker
Quote by nicola
Oh Birdie, that's a blow.
Was it expected? Do you have contingency plans, or not worried about looking for now?
It was expected, although no one told me about it. My boss told me that I could be called back in the spring...but he knows as well as I do that I wont be back. I love my job...it was interesting because I had never been around airplanes until I started this job and I learned a lot about them and airports in the three years that I was there.
There were 5 regular employees who worked there so in three years we became like a little, disgruntled family. I had 30+ pilots memorized by voice alone. When they called in on the radio, I knew exactly who they were and they never had to identify themselves. (They thought that was creepy at first). I have become too attached to the people there.
The only downfall to my job is/was my boss' wife. She hated me for no reason at all and it seemed like her main goal in life was to make me miserable. She was the only person there who didnt like me and no one could figure that one out. She has accused me of being a thief, a spy, a liar, and, worst of all, accused me of sleeping with more than one pilot...(god, if I only had the time for that!) Technically, I could own her if I turned her in.
That being said, when he finally told me that I was going to be laid off, I actually got excited because defending yourself on a daily basis against a bunch of outright lies is overly exhausting and I am ready for a change. He is letting me work through Saturday, which is going to be hard because that is the day that I have to say goodbye to everyone I have seen nearly every day for the past 3 years.
Seeker
Application for Permission to Date My Daughter
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
______________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married ______________________________
If less than your age, explain
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?
(IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? _____________
pastor? _____________
SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
______________________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
______________________________________________________________
C: A woman's place is in the:
______________________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
______________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
______________________________________________________________
F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature
_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would
cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
(you might watch your back)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
______________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married ______________________________
If less than your age, explain
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?
(IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? _____________
pastor? _____________
SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
______________________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
______________________________________________________________
C: A woman's place is in the:
______________________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
______________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
______________________________________________________________
F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature
_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would
cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
(you might watch your back)
Seeker
Quote by nicola
I'm having rump steak tonight(for someone who was a vegetarian for around a decade, I have changed somewhat over the years...)
Oh, as for the life lesson - hmmm, the message is not to strive for anything better and you wont get humped unwillingly?
You too? I was a vegetarian for 7 years. WAS...and now I sure do love steak!!
BTW, that pic is hilarious!
Seeker
Quote by nicola
That reminds me of a joke Birdie.
A guy goes to the Psychiatrist and says, "my wife treats me like a dog, she belittles me in front of people, I feel so worthless."
The Psychiatrist says to him, "hope up here on the couch and tell me more."
He replies, "I'm not allowed on the couch."
Hmmm...wonder if that would work at my house? LOL
