Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
Buz
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 40
0 miles · Atlanta
Forum
The Linebacker
Rumpy, my wife is of half Cajun heritage. Her other half is mostly from French immigrants in the very early 1800s. So Cajuns being from the Canadian French, she's pretty much, in general, all French descent. But something about those Cajuns, strong willed, stubborn and love to party, seems to be what she inherited the most.
Time for a Bloody Mary and a black coffee. Maybe a Louisiana-style coffee, strong as hell.
Time for a Bloody Mary and a black coffee. Maybe a Louisiana-style coffee, strong as hell.
The Linebacker
Most recently I've been enjoying HBO's Westworld. Other than that I've mostly been watching sports or documentaries (history, science or crime). I usually read while my wife watches her favorite shows. She likes stuff like Dancing With The Stars, The Voice, etc. but she is good about watching football with me or going to football games.
The Linebacker
Quote by Burquette
At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.
The Linebacker
He's too pretty to be Batman. Unless he toughens up, Underdog will pee on his leg.
Robin: Holy dog piss, Batman! UnderDog has peed on your leg!
Batman: I didn't know UnderDog was a deity?
Robin: He is in Canada.
Batman: Oh. Well, don't just stand there Robin, get me out of these wet Batsocks.
Robin: Holy hell, do I have to? They're all wet and soggy.
Batman: Yes, and then go get me a clean pair of Batsocks out of the trunk of the Batmobile.
Robin: Speaking of Batmobile, you're getting a parking ticket.
Batman: A parking ticket? It's not MeterMaid is it?
Robin: Holy Cop! It is MeterMaid!
Batman: Quick Robin, let's run for our lives!
Robin: C'mon Batman, don't get those panties you wear on the outside of yout tights in a wad, it's just a parking ticket.
Robin: Holy dog piss, Batman! UnderDog has peed on your leg!
Batman: I didn't know UnderDog was a deity?
Robin: He is in Canada.
Batman: Oh. Well, don't just stand there Robin, get me out of these wet Batsocks.
Robin: Holy hell, do I have to? They're all wet and soggy.
Batman: Yes, and then go get me a clean pair of Batsocks out of the trunk of the Batmobile.
Robin: Speaking of Batmobile, you're getting a parking ticket.
Batman: A parking ticket? It's not MeterMaid is it?
Robin: Holy Cop! It is MeterMaid!
Batman: Quick Robin, let's run for our lives!
Robin: C'mon Batman, don't get those panties you wear on the outside of yout tights in a wad, it's just a parking ticket.
The Linebacker
That's hard to say but I'm crazy insane, so I kind of like this excerpt from my story "Bluelight Special" in the Humor section...
Sarge finally freed the snap on his buckle. His pants dropped to the ground and as he attempted to step out of them, he tripped. Suddenly sprawled out on the floor, the sergeant sat up. “Shit!”
“Are you okay, Sarge?” Despite being handcuffed, Doreen pulled herself up into a sitting position to check on the sergeant.
“Uh, why, yeah,” Sarge moaned, “I’m fine.”
He strained, stretched, groaned and barely reached his shoes to untie them. In his effort to get off the floor, the sergeant rolled over, his large boxer covered butt, poked upward. The material pulled so tight, forming a wide backside camel toe, that both Doreen and Bugs thought it might tear and snap. But Sarge somehow managed to get to his feet with his underwear all in one piece.
The sergeant stood there triumphantly in his boxers, tank style white undershirt, and black socks. His look of victory quickly turned to disbelief. Raising an eyebrow in astonishment, he stared at Bugs standing next to him, wearing only a leopard print Speedo bikini.
“Oh my god!” exclaimed Sarge.
“A banana hammock,” giggled Doreen.
Bugs rolled his eyes, gesturing with the open palms of his hands. “Women like these.”
Sarge with a silly grin cornered his eyes away and whispered under his breath, “Yeah, right.”
“Uh!” grunted Bugs.
“Okay,” said the sergeant, “you never mention me falling down and I won’t ever mention those, whatever those panties are you got on.”
“They ain’t panties, Sarge,” Bugs desperately explained. “These are a men’s underwear.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“Would you two quit arguing about that damned banana hammock. I wanna get some action!”
“Oh, yeah, sure,” said Sarge.
Simultaneously, Sarge and Bugs moved towards Doreen as she dropped back, spread eagle onto the bed. Colliding just in front of her spread legs, they both backed away and gave each other an annoyed look.
“Guys?” Doreen seemed a little perturbed.
“I’m going down on her first,” demanded Sarge.
Bugs shrugged in protest.
“I outrank you,” added the sergeant.
Bugs backed off enough for the sergeant to crawl on the bed between Doreen’s knees. Grabbing her by the thighs he winked at Doreen and grinned. “Besides, I got more experience at this.”
Doreen rolled her eyes.
Sarge finally freed the snap on his buckle. His pants dropped to the ground and as he attempted to step out of them, he tripped. Suddenly sprawled out on the floor, the sergeant sat up. “Shit!”
“Are you okay, Sarge?” Despite being handcuffed, Doreen pulled herself up into a sitting position to check on the sergeant.
“Uh, why, yeah,” Sarge moaned, “I’m fine.”
He strained, stretched, groaned and barely reached his shoes to untie them. In his effort to get off the floor, the sergeant rolled over, his large boxer covered butt, poked upward. The material pulled so tight, forming a wide backside camel toe, that both Doreen and Bugs thought it might tear and snap. But Sarge somehow managed to get to his feet with his underwear all in one piece.
The sergeant stood there triumphantly in his boxers, tank style white undershirt, and black socks. His look of victory quickly turned to disbelief. Raising an eyebrow in astonishment, he stared at Bugs standing next to him, wearing only a leopard print Speedo bikini.
“Oh my god!” exclaimed Sarge.
“A banana hammock,” giggled Doreen.
Bugs rolled his eyes, gesturing with the open palms of his hands. “Women like these.”
Sarge with a silly grin cornered his eyes away and whispered under his breath, “Yeah, right.”
“Uh!” grunted Bugs.
“Okay,” said the sergeant, “you never mention me falling down and I won’t ever mention those, whatever those panties are you got on.”
“They ain’t panties, Sarge,” Bugs desperately explained. “These are a men’s underwear.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“Would you two quit arguing about that damned banana hammock. I wanna get some action!”
“Oh, yeah, sure,” said Sarge.
Simultaneously, Sarge and Bugs moved towards Doreen as she dropped back, spread eagle onto the bed. Colliding just in front of her spread legs, they both backed away and gave each other an annoyed look.
“Guys?” Doreen seemed a little perturbed.
“I’m going down on her first,” demanded Sarge.
Bugs shrugged in protest.
“I outrank you,” added the sergeant.
Bugs backed off enough for the sergeant to crawl on the bed between Doreen’s knees. Grabbing her by the thighs he winked at Doreen and grinned. “Besides, I got more experience at this.”
Doreen rolled her eyes.
Get a sense of humor. 
