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ChuckEPoo
3 days ago
Straight Male
0 miles · Oxnard

Forum

Oh hell yes. Erotic stories from a woman's POV are the best. Men seem to focus on the physical whereas women bring out the emotional and relational aspects of an encounter. Since eroticism starts in the mind, the mental nuances are far more sexual to me than a blow by blow sexual description.
I always thought it took a great education and life plan to become impotent.
A cooks delight. Make anything delicious. Add bacon and... butter.

Mashed potatoes? Add bacon and butter.

Steamed green beans? Add bacon and butter.

Burger? Yup. Add bacon.

Salad? Add bacon bits.

The list is endless. My favorite is hickory smoked bacon.
I have an asshole neighbor that thinks this is still the 4th of July and is setting off fireworks at three in the morning every night. Then comes the M-80s that set off all the car alarms. Id call the cops but they'd show up and probably start shooting thinking they were under fire. I would go talk to him but he is a red-neck with a pit bull. Soooo to make a long story short... I'm fucked.

If I go to him and complain he will sic his dog on me and in self preservation I'll call 911. The cops will come and most likely shoot the dog and the guy and I will be hospitalized with dog bites and have to go through rabies shots in the stomach, after sitting three hours waiting in the emergency room.

Carol just handed me my head phones playing the Piano Guys greatest hits. I swear that never occurred to me.
For the sake of harmony in the home I will say Carol my wife. But... there are several Lush lady friends I would be delighted to explore with. Not gonna list names but they know.
My wife calls them her girls. I like TaTa's. Boobs sound crass. Same with tits or titties. Breasts sound respectful and mammary glands clinical. By any name they are lovely.

Quote by sprite
booze. the more you drink, the more irresistible i become. smile


Quote by aliciaxxx69
are there authors here interested in collaborating with me on a diary style project
please send pm if interested
xxx


I suggest you post a story or two so other authors can see your writing style. A collaberation is tricky even with two well established authors.
Blaaa. Should have been a ten. Thing is that on Lush we can't count higher than 5.
It changes as I get older

In my twenties she had to have a hot bod. Nice tits, firm round ass, a face like an angel but fucks like a demon.

Then in my thirties she had to be pretty, and a pleasant person to be around. Great sense of humor and wonderful lover.

Along came the forties. She had to be a great conversationalist, critical thinker, attractive in the flesh but also in the spirit with a loving soul.

Now in my fifties she has to be in good health, good cook, extremely tolerant, and a great scrabble player.
Congratulations to you and all the hard working mods that so selflessly donate your time to make this site a success.


Simple... Women! I gave up trying to figure them out. I have a greater understanding of relativity than a woman's mind. When I hear those psychologists say there are fundamentally no differences between the sexes, I just scratch my head in disbelief.




I took my truck in to the dealer for scheduled maintenance and they said it needed to have several recall repairs. I agreed. Then... Two weeks later they tell me they need to keep it a week longer. Three weeks to do routine maintenance? So I calmly told them they were Incompetent losers that couldn't tell their assholes from a socket wrench. Needless to say, that didn't go as well as I hoped.

Cock suckers!
This is a formula for disaster. If both of you want relationships outside the marriage, then why not just call it quits? This sounds like a poorly written porno.
Well I'm obviously not a gal but a 69 for me is the least desirable sex act. I can't enjoy one thing without loosing tract of the other.
Actually my wife looks good in anything. From a bikini to a gown. She works hard on her body dieting and exercising so why not show it off?

On a note. Why is it that a woman can feel comfortable in a string bikini but if caught in bra and panties she freaks out like she was naked?

Hmmm. First sexual act? As I recall it was fumbling around in the pool-house with the neighbor girl acting like I knew what I was doing.
Quote by nicola
Embarrassed to say I've dipped in to just 2...

Number 10
Valley of the Dolls - 30 million
Author: Jacqueline Susann
Not be confused with Russ Meyer's campy film Beyond the Valley of the Dolls , this novel, which was first published in 1966, was an instant hit. The plot centers around three women vying to make it in showbiz, who instead get plagued by sex, drugs and scandal. Pushing the boundaries of the '60s, it's undeniably a trashy melodrama but it is addictive and entertaining nonetheless.

Excerpt: "I don't need a woman on my arm every minute."


Number 9
In His Steps: What Would Jesus Do? - 30 million
Author: Rev. Charles Monroe Sheldon
Sheldon was an average American clergyman. However, it all changed when he published this tome in 1896, bringing him phenomenal fame and fortune. This discourse is about dilemmas and how we can use the Bible in everyday life, boiling Christianity down to its very essence. What Sheldon proposes is that we put ourselves in Jesus' shoes for every decision we make, that it's the only way to really exercise discipleship.

Excerpt: "I know that the hand of divine love in all this is leading me."


Number 8

A Message to Garcia - 40 million
Author: Elbert Hubbard
This 1899 short essay, clocking in at around 1,500 words, is about the real hero of the Cuban War. At its core, it is a dissertation on labor relations that still rings true today. It basically addresses workers and preaches initiative. It achieved these staggering sales figures mostly because companies would buy the book in bulk to distribute to their employees.

Excerpt: "My heart goes out to the man who does his work when the 'boss' is away, as well as when he is home."


Number 7

Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care - 50 million
Author: Dr. Benjamin Spock
No Vulcans or warp speed, but the same good sense though. In 1946, pediatrician Spock penned this classic on how to raise children. Not only was the book important in its own right, it was also somewhat controversial considering a man wrote about what was traditionally considered a woman's task. This is the source that generations of parents have relied on when dealing with newborns and toddlers. It covers a wide range of topics relating to childcare, from infancy to early education.

Excerpt: "The fact is that child rearing is a long, hard job, the rewards are not always immediately obvious, the work is often undervalued, and parents are just as human and almost as vulnerable as their children."


Number 6

The McGuffey Readers - 60 million
Author: William Holmes McGuffey
The numerous editions of this anthology of short stories for young readers were quite popular when first printed in 1836, though they were initially rather preachy. Not only were they a great learning tool but they also contained valuable moral lessons. During the 19th century, 80% of all American schoolchildren used them. Some sources claim that 120 million copies were sold but it is believed that these figures are bloated considering the U.S. population numbered around 10 million at the time.

Excerpt: "The first object of the intelligent teacher, is to awaken the attention of his pupil."


Number 5

The World Almanac and Book of Facts (2003) - 73.5 million
Author: World Almanac Books
The world saw the apparition of this work in 1868 and it's been published every year since, except for a hiatus between 1876 and 1886 when ownership was in limbo. A comprehensive reference manual encompassing information on just about every subject, from sports and economy to history and geography, the World Almanac is a favorite of many. In 1923, Calvin Coolidge was sworn in as U.S. President by his Justice father who read the oath from a copy of this book.

Excerpt: "At the site where the World Trade Center had stood, the task of removing 1.62 million tons of rubble while searching for human remains officially ended July 15, 2002."


Number 4

Guinness World Records (2003) - 94 million
Author: Various Before flooding the Web and network TV specials, world records have fascinated millions through the famous book in its yearly edition. First published in 1955, the book is a repository of world records of all sorts, from sports heroics and eccentric feats to freaky human deformities. It came to be when the big boss of the Guinness brewery wanted to know what the fastest game bird in Europe was; he figured a book containing such facts might prove lucrative. The fact that it contains lots of photographs deeply appeals to the human voyeuristic hunger.
Excerpt: "The world's longest kiss took place in New York City, lasting a Guinness World Record 30 hours, 59 minutes, and 27 seconds."


Number 3

The American Spelling Book - 100 million
Author: Noah Webster
It was in 1783 that this famous book was first published. It soon became the preferred English textbook in schools through 19th-century America. The Blue-Back Speller 's charm was that words were broken down into syllables, which made it easier for students to learn pronunciation. The book was often revised and reedited by its author.

Excerpt: "The design of this Grammatical institute is to furnish schools in this country with an easy, accurate and comprehensive system of rules and lessons for teaching the English language."


Number 2

Quotations From Chairman Mao Tse-Tung - 900 million
Author: Mao Tse-Tung
Most people are more familiar with the book under its nickname: The Little Red Book . First published in 1966, it sheds light on the Chinese dictator's views on life, economics, and politics. Fairly poetic in style, Mao's fervent beliefs of the Communist ideology shine through.

Excerpt: "We should support whatever the enemy opposes and oppose whatever the enemy supports."


Number 1

The Holy Bible - 6 billion
Author: Various
Does it really surprise anyone? The Good Book, which is the foundation of Christianity, aside from Christ himself of course, was the first volume to be printed around 1450. Until then, the book had been hand-copied by patient monks and was only available to clerics and scholars. Gutenberg's new printing technique allowed missionaries to bring copies of the bible with them in their religious conversion quests. It has been printed in more than 2,000 languages and dialects so far.

Excerpt: "Don't forget to be kind to strangers. For some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it."



First of all I was amazed at the top ten.

I'm not so amazed The Holy Bible at number one. Ive read the Bible cover to cover many times always discovering new things each time.

I've used the Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care book with my son, only to be alarmed after it was discredited after generations of use.

In His Steps I read many years ago. Surprised this was top ten as there are better books by far along this line.

We have used the Guinness Book of World Records as reference for years but I don't believe anyone read whole thing. If they did it was a waste of time or they were prepping for a game show.

We own the World Almanac but I can't honestly say I've read it. A really really big heavy book that looks good in library.
I think adding the Co-Authors badge is worth considering. There is a tremendous advantage if you hook up with the right author for RRs or EPs though.

BTW, I'd love to see Liz and Ashleigh produce a collaboration.

I think the badge system is a great system for new authors in particular. It is an incentive to improve your writing skills.

One last plug for a change I really want to happen and that is the simple ability to delete items on your timeline page. People have posted offensive things there in the past and I dislike having to look at it every time I log on.
All people have varying sex drives. My wife has always had a higher one than me. Mind you, I'm never a wham-bam-thank-you-mam. She just needs more than I do. Answer for me was the blue pill. However, I discovered that fore play consisted of more than rubbing her tit or a good licking. It meant conversation, actual communication, which means listening.

Ok I'm not that brilliant. I got those pearls of wisdom from couples therapy. But it works. Plus, I bought her a box full of sex toys from Amazon. It doesn't bother me in the least that I can be replaced by rechargeable Freddy.