True story. First of all I want to say I absolutely love my wife's breasts. Pert C-cups that drive me crazy.
This guy I did a kitchen remodel for was a surgeon that did reconstructive surgery. He had a display showing different implants. I had a brilliant idea and asked him if I could borrow a set... Of big ones. He looked at me with curiosity. I said I'd return them. He said no need. He had a pair of outdated models I could have.
So... I packaged them up and put them under the Christmas tree. Then, with family and friends Christmas morning, Carol opens the package and pulls out one. She looks at me with a puzzled look. Then someone recognized what it was and started to laugh. Carol started to laugh along with her. Then... Her laugh turned to anger. She threw it hard and it splatted up against my cheek. Then she ran to the bedroom and slammed the door.
When I fuck up I fuck up royally. I begged her forgiveness and explained it was just a sick joke gone wrong. After ten minutes she unlocks the bedroom door and proudly walks out in her bikini. Walked into living room and does a spin. Then says, "She who laughs last, laughs harder."
Depends. If it is hot sex talk, I am in.
"Oh baby... Yes... Fuck me you beast... Give me that big cock... Oh my god fuck your little slut..."
Not...
"Honey did you shut off the water earlier?..."
Not always. When we make love I like going to sleep cupping her breast or... When it's hot outside. When we were first were married, naked was our night time wear... Then... After our son was born it was nightwear. Kids just come in at the most unexpected times.
I love to blow in a belly button and cause a farting sound. It lightens a serous intense moment. Sex is best having fun. Carol says making love with me is like an amusement park. Lol.
My name is Chuck and my wife would say Chuck-e-poo. Pretty soon it was a handle I was stuck with if I liked it or not.
Then Sprite started calling me Mr. Poo. ? Oh well...
I just love having sex with a married woman. My wife is by far the sexiest most sensual lover I've ever bedded.
Congratulations to all that won and all that entered. I was going to try but just stared at a blank screen. Gothic gene seems to elude me. Tried to conjure up my dark side but could not find any Poe in my soul. It is good to see new faces on the podium. Congrats again.
Naughty talk but not stuff about the kids or the day. I remember my ex told me to hurry up that she had a show she wanted to see. Talk about a mood killer.
Ask the IRS. They jerk me off regular.
No. I've got enough laundry to do.
Well, I was raised in a strict atheist home under a tyrannical abusive father. While suffering from post war trauma years later I did something most Christians never do... I read the Bible cover to cover. Although some of it was fabled and allegorical I found myself believing enough to believe in God, heaven and hell. In proverbs it says to live today as if it were all you had. So here is what I believe. I have hope in life after death, hope in heaven, but live today and love today as it is all I have.
1Corinthians 15:22 says, "Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we may die."
I find it humorous that people that believe in nothing out of intellectual superiority get so angered and feel it necessary to argue it. Let me see, if I believe in God and eternal life through Christ and you believe in nothing after death, why should that be upsetting? We both get what we believe in.
Truth is that all you have is today. What are you doing with it? That is the real question.
It depends. For sex it depends on how hot she is and factor in the cost of gas.
For love I'd travel the world over.
It far exceeds any expectations I had when younger. My bucket list is mighty small now but it isn't over with yet.
I don't know if this was strange sex request but I once had this couple ask if I would take pictures of them on my longboard. I looked at them like they were nuts but said sure and pointed to my surfboard on the sand. He said no, that they wanted it in the water. I asked if he had ever surfed? He said no that they were in California on vacation, and that they were from Minnesota. I told him that wouldn't be possible as it is difficult to just paddle one or sit on a surf board. Fucking on a surfboard would be a world class move. He was insistent so we gave it a try. She almost drown just trying to swim out past the break... Kooks!
Usually when the first telemarketer calls.
I believe this is basically a erotic story site. A really great community of people with various interests. I find the best way to expand your friend list is to read or write stories. There is almost a genre for everyone. I agree with Buz. The forum is a great way to get to know people.
Bring your own lube (good luck with that too) drop 'em and bend over is more likely the case! 
