Oh dear oh dear, bad jokes is it. Alright then: A three-legged dog walks into a bar, his six-shooter on his hip. He says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Now, even worse, and as I am blond I can get away with this, "Three blonds walked into a bar, you would think one of them would have noticed."
Talking of blonds when I was younger my hairdresser told me I was a dirty blond. I think that was a reference to my hair colour. But now that I am older I am wondering whether the hairdresser had a second career as a fortune teller.
Just a tea for me this Thursday afternoon, while I contemplate a couple of Australian jokes for you as I have not seen to many of us in this bar so offence is likely to be minimal.
We could start with "What is the difference between yogurt and Australia? Yogurt has some culture." I think it is amusing but it can easily offend.
Of course all really amusing Aussie jokes have blokes as the punch line, and most Aussie sheilas laughter is tinged with the realisation there may be spot of truth in the humour. Try this for instance, "What is the Australian animal that most resembles the Australian male? The wombat, because he eats, roots, and leaves." Or indeed this, "What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? An Australian man will actually search for a golf ball."
That is all from me, for the moment at least.
Evening all, Wednesday is all but done and I cant even relax with a drink as I am going dry this February. But I will have whatever non-alcoholic drink summer drink is recommended, the mercury has been well over 30 C this week. Just perfect for Happy Topless Tuesday, down under.
Been a little distracted this last week and I haven't visited this fine establishment, nor have I actually written any more of my competition entry. Whether I will get something written that pleases me enough to submit is an open question. This isn't helped by not drinking as for some reason my prose always reads better after a few drinks.
We all have different weather to contend with. The southerly just came through this Thursday evening plunging the temperature from 38 degrees C to around 26 degrees C. Thank God for that, the heat and humidity were kind of oppressive today. And February's humidity is still in front of us. Hope those who are suffering the cold snap up north are keeping safe.
Thanks Curvy for you know what, you are a great help. Another competition I see, I will have to see if I can get inspiration to strike.
A refreshing beer for me, need to keep hydrated this summer evening.
Annie
From the Australia is a weird place file comes this story, "A Canberra woman holidaying in Brisbane had a nasty surprise this week when a carpet python bit her on the bottom while she sat on the toilet... She called snake catcher Jasmine Zeleny and "kept vigil over that toilet seat" until Ms Zeleny arrived to fish the 1.6-metre long snake out. Mrs Richards said the bite drew blood but was not very painful and she initially treated the wound by washing it with soap and water and spraying it with antiseptic, then calming down with "a couple of gin and tonics" when her sister-in-law arrived home."
Now there are two morals from this story. One barkeep is that a gin and tonic never goes astray. So I will have one.
And second, as Australia has more venomous snakes than any other country in the world, being home to 9 of the top 10 most venomous snakes in the world, one might welcome the fact it was 'only' a carpet python. One of those top 10 poisonous snakes is not unknown in Sydney, "Fast-moving, aggressive and known for their bad temper, eastern brown snakes, together with other browns are responsible for more deaths every year in Australia than any other group of snakes. Not only is their venom ranked as the second most toxic of any land snake in the world (based on tests on mice), they thrive in populated areas."
The weather report from the south, milder today a pleasant 28 degrees though the humidity is high. Sydney will be in the 30's for the rest of the week though my eyes will be downwards keeping an eye out for brown snakes. Any chance of you northerners sending some snow southwards.
Annie
I seem to be the contrary voice from the south, it was warm oh so very warm this Friday. Susie, I dream of 9, today was hot well over 30 for the move. Apartment cleared out and tonight the first night in our new home. Unpacking tomorrow and cleaning the apartment Sunday is the plan. Monday is a holiday not that us shift workers benefit necessarily.
And I am so visiting the beach this weekend. Enjoy wedding planning Reece.
Iced tea sounds perfect to get me through Friday evening, but I will so want something stronger towards midnight.
Annie
An update on the weather down under, Adelaide hit 46.6 degrees today (115.9 Fahrenheit) the hottest temperature every recorded in an Australian state (think Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Perth Adelaide and Hobart) capital. Can I say global warming without argument. Fortunately Sydney was much cooler (about 30) but God know how the Australian Open tennis players will cope tomorrow in Melbourne.
I hope I am not the only Southern Hemisphere bar fly. I will certainly look up the challenge on the other site.
When I am back home tonight I will need a beer thank you. Though you must tell me, RumpleForeskin, is 46 is hot by Arizona summer standards?
Annie
Morning all, my Sunday should always start with a cappuccino. Interestingly I was recently in New Zealand and, unlike anywhere else (where chocolate is just assumed) I have been, when you order a cappuccino they ask 'cinnamon or chocolate.' Who I thought when faced with that choice wouldn't choose chocolate? But as they keep asking I guess there must be those who really would choose cinnamon.
Busy packing today as are moving house. A pain particularly in the heat and I will surely need something stronger in a few hours.
Happy birthday.
Morning all, my Sunday should always start with a cappuccino. Interestingly I was recently in New Zealand and, unlike anywhere else (where chocolate is just assumed) I have been, when you order a cappuccino they ask 'cinnamon or chocolate.' Who I thought when faced with that choice wouldn't choose chocolate? But as they keep asking I guess there must be those who really would choose cinnamon.
Busy packing today as are moving house. A pain particularly in the heat and I will surely need something stronger in a few hours.
Happy birthday.
A coffee to kick start my Saturday. Different day and different hemisphere. Expecting it to be a little cooler around 28 degree (80 plus Fahrenheit.) The beach is calling I so need a swim, and nothing, not even tentacle stories, will put me off.
Congratulations to all the wonderful writers who contributed 50 excellent stories. My first competition entry and I loved that challenge of the photo and the generous feedback I received.
Well done to saucymh, fuzzyblue and browncoffee for your inspirational work. Amazing talent all round.
Annie
. If I tried to lounge in mine, hypothermia would rapidly set in.NRfggkLEifL6qOAS 
