I don't really like the look of tattoos on a woman's body... particularly weird little designs or crystals on the pussy or ass. It's a bit fussy. I just like it smooth, waxed, and natural. I guess it might be an entertaining idea for a special occasion, but I just find the whole idea a bit too cutesy and contrived.
I want readers to be able to imagine my characters, but I don't go into a significant amount of detail when describing the way they look. I prefer to provide details as the story evolves, but definitely establish the basic physicality as early on as possible. I definitely prefer a more subtle approach to weaving in descriptives rather than "pausing" the story to paint a picture. The picture should evolve early on, but definitely in a natural way, in my opinion.
In terms of my erotica writing, I have used "myself" as my main character in all my stories. Sometimes it feels a bit awkward to describe myself in words, without sounding a bit... hmm... I don't know... maybe narcissistic is the right word? As such, I tend to go light on details, and assume those that have seen my pics can fill in the rest of the blanks... lol
If you want to look younger, then colour the greys or shave it off.
If you want to embrace the distinguished or "older guy" look, then leave it as is.
Some men can look sexy with a bit of grey.
I'm still in my twenties though, so grey hair isn't going to be something that attracts me at this point in life, but I can still appreciate a well-maintenanced older guy as being attractive. And let's not forget that some people just grey early in life due to genetics.
There's nothing wrong with putting some effort into looking your best (whether you are male or female). I don't understand the people that condemn it as vanity. I'd have no issue with my man colouring his hair as he ages. I plan to do the same!
Don't take life (or yourself) too seriously. Find the hidden humour in things, and be confident. I appreciate someone with a sarcastic or wry sense of humour far more than someone who "tries to by funny" by telling endless jokes or trying to find the punchline in every situation. A positive attitude, a sincere smile, and a desire to laugh at the absurdities in life is something that translates well to creating laughter around you. Then again, everyone's sense of humour is different. I have a darker sense of humour that some might find too twisted, but when I connect with other people that appreciate it or are similar in mindset, it creates an instant connection... and it's that connection that can go a long way to wanting to spend more time with that person.
Being single is nothing to be ashamed of. It can turn out to be the most empowering and liberating time of your life. It terms of personal growth, I think the most strides can be made while being single. After all, that's why they call it "personal" growth. As much as we all want to cling to the idea of another person 'completing us'... the reality is that you are the only person that is guaranteed to be with you for the rest of your life... so you'd better like that person.
I spent three years in a toxic relationship, during which the man I 'loved' spent about two of those years chipping away at my self-esteem as a form of psychological control until I didn't feel I could ever do any better than him. He criticized me constantly... from what I wore, to how I looked, to what I said at dinner parties, to how I spent my time. Once, he found some of my hidden writing (non-erotica) and belittled that, so I stopped writing for over two years. I can look back on it now and recognize his own insecurities that maybe caused him to need to tear me down to make sure I'd never leave him. He wasn't ever physically abusive or anything, but he knew all my vulnerabilities and how to push my buttons, and the emotional can often be just as painful. So it was a volatile couple of years, with a lot of highs and lows, where I didn't feel very confident in who I was anymore. I always felt like I was walking on eggshells, and basically just ended up masking my sadness and turning instead to heavy partying to escape my psychological bruises, all the while still inanely trying to win his approval. And let's face it, with these kinds of assholes... it's never really possible.
Becoming single again was almost like being re-born. I didn't have to worry if I was doing something wrong, or when the next fight would happen, or staring at the clock at 4am and wondering why he wasn't home yet. I could wear what I wanted, find the courage to start writing again, and basically slowly start getting my confidence back by engaging in the world again being 100% me. When I look at who I was back then, compared to now, it's like night and day differences. Sure, I will always have some emotional scars, but I can start to rationalize his behaviour now that I'm away from it, and stop believing all the negatives he kept drilling into my head. Being single meant that I could find myself again, figure out what I want from life, and realize that I have all these possibilities that are still open to me. You don't even know what your own life's puzzle is going to look like at the end of it all, but the thrill of imagining what it COULD be is still one of the things that makes me smile when I wake up in the morning.
I enjoy both, but if I have to pick one it would be giving. I really get turned on by pleasuring a lover, and enjoying all the little reactions I can elicit and create when my mouth and tongue are on him.
Nope... no intimidation at all... Although I have argued in the past with ex-bfs over what constitutes a 'hot porn star', and often with very different opinions.
I enjoy watching alone or with a partner... or even with some girlfriends on a girls night.
I should say that I also had one crazy "vault sex story" where my ex-bf and I actually hooked up with a porn-star one night many years ago (she was doing feature dancing at a strip club when we met her). Although she wasn't physically my type (very porno-barbie), things just ended up happening. Let me just say that sex with a porn star really isn't all that life-altering in reality. Or maybe I was just too drunk/high to be as into it as I could have been. Anyway, my ex was extremely thrilled... more at the concept of it happening than the actual sex itself, as he told me later. And no, I wasn't intimidated at all. But because I'm bi, that might also factor into my openness to sexualizing a woman.
Porn stars and strippers are creating a sexual fantasy, that's all. I can see how some women might be intimidated or jealous at the idea that their man might want to fuck one, but then again, your man possibly also fantasizes about fucking a hot coworker or the coffee-girl at Starbucks too. It's just the nature of being a guy with a penis. If you're going to get jealous, it makes more sense to be more worried about the latter... (the real life hotties that he's jerking off to)... they are a lot more accessible than the babe in the X-rated video.
I do like this question though as it relates to women in their late 20's and 30's, what do yo think about it? I've dyed it a few times and it seems to get lighter every time.
Well said! 
