Technically, anything that is penetrating an orifice is supposed to be sex, but I tend to lump 'oral' as 'fooling around'... same as I would tag mutual masturbation as more along the lines of foreplay. It's wrong to define it as such, but I tend to more classify vaginal/anal as sex. This doesn't make sense though, because then what is lesbian sex? (provided it remains just oral).
I think women tend to see oral as just 'foreplay' in order to keep their sex-partners numbers lower. And maybe some people do it to avoid feeling like they've cheated if they are in a scenario where they are just giving someone a blow-job. Maybe it alleviates some of the guilt.
For me, if I'm having oral with someone, 95% of the time I have also gone on to have vaginal/anal sex, so it doesn't make as much of a difference to me.
I only write when I'm inspired.
I try not to force the writing when I'm not feeling it... every time I do, I find that my writing is subpar.
I don't mind taking mini-breaks in between stories.
I think it's good to clear the mind before starting something fresh.
I know many people write multiple stories at one time. I've only ever concentrated on one at a time. I admire those that can successfully juggle ideas. I hope to find the skill level to be able to do that sometime.
I think that erotica poses a different kind of challenge to a writer in that there is a choice between making it a closed-tale with definite characters and background/imagery or something more open-concept that allows the reader to "live the fantasy" by imagining that they are the main character, or creating the setting as their own imagination prefers. I prefer stories that keep things a little more open-ended with both.
For me, it's less about what the character looks like, or the location they are standing in, but more how they are feeling and interpreting the situation. A reader can probably relate to the emotional life of your characters before they can relate to the physicality of them.
Between the two you mention (setting vs character development), I much prefer stories that concentrate on bringing the characters to life. I want to understand their motives, dialogue style, and hopefully that gives a sense of realism to the dynamics of the story line.
As far as settings go, I want the basics to set the scene, but I don't want endless details. My mind tends to drift when I read too much about how a room looks, or scenery that is overly detailed (especially in a short story). I'm much more interested in what the people in the room are doing/thinking/feeling.
Which scenario would bother you more and why?
Could you forgive one but not the other?
Scenario A. You find out that your significant other is having a physical affair. They meet this "other" person approximately twice a month on their lunch hour or just after work to have sex. They don't have much in common, other than enjoying each other sexually. They don't even know much about each other's lives, and typically only communicate in order to set up the next rendezvous. Your significant other is hiding this from you at the time you find out what's going on.
Scenario B. You find out that your significant other is having an emotional affair. While they haven't actually had sex with this person, they talk regularly (by phone, email, online chat etc), and they enjoy hanging out together as often as they can. Your significant other shares a deep emotional connection with this person, and they talk about things that they might not even share with you. Your significant other is hiding this from you at the time you find out what's going on.
People that are actually too stupid to successfully carry out the idiocy of their own strategies.
If you're smart, it really shouldn't be this obvious.
I think that a lot of people are attracted to reading stories from the opposite sex's point of view. After all, it's the one thing I know that I will never get to experience when it comes to sex. I'll never know what it's like to have a dick and fuck a woman (strap-on capabilities aside, it's just not the same). I like to know what a man experiences, or how he feels or the way he describes a sex act... not to mention that you can learn some interesting tips as to what the opposite sex enjoys and/or fantasizes about most, and things you might want to try or incorporate into your own sex life. But that's just on a pure interest level.
I'm not sure what the gender stats are in terms of how many men vs women actually read erotica, but if it's a more male-dominated readership, then certainly I can see how female writers will tend to get more attention in general. I'd be curious to see the gender ratio differences for readers in each category... I think that would be interesting!
I do think that women may tend to get more "sympathy scores", even if the story is subpar... especially from male readers. I think it's just a built-in tendency to not want to be too 'harsh' with criticism with female writers. It's just my opinion though. I tend to not like to give bad scores to either gender, so if I read a story that I don't like, I'm more inclined just to bypass the scoring altogether - which is probably a bad thing. Assumably we all want the feedback, but I just hate delivering a 'bomb-score' on something (I think that's the girl in me, not wanting to hurt feelings... lol), so I just tend to avoid it.
In terms of content of the stories, yes, there is definitely a difference in terms of what a woman can get away with and have be considered still erotic. I find this is particularly the case with the Reluctance or non-consent categories. A story told from a female's perspective is often judged less harshly, especially if she is the one being dominated. It's just seen as an authentic female fantasy. A male writer, using the same level of "dirty details" in the story may be judged more because of the implied question... "is the female character really enjoying it, or is this writer using this story as an opportunity to unleash his inclinations towards force and sexual coercion?" It often makes me wonder how the same story would do in ratings/feedback if it were posted for half the readers as a female writer, and the other half as a male. On the other hand, in terms of my own feedback for the reluctance stories I've written, I've actually found that if anyone is being critical of the content, it has always been a male reader. I think that whole category appeals more to female readers in general, who have the legitimate fantasy. Whereas men tend to struggle a bit more with what society instills in them as being inappropriate or wrong when it comes to "convincing" a "reluctant" sex partner... regardless of the fact that it's just part of a sexual fantasy.
I'm naked because... I'm writing a dirty story and I need easy access to indulge my 'inspirations'...
Whoever asked the other person out for drinks should pay for the bill on the first date.
If you continue dating from there, I'm more in favour of one person picking up the bill one time, and the other person picking it up the next time, rather than getting separate cheques or trying to sort out going 'dutch'. It always feels kind of cheap and embarrassing trying to split a bill and/or tally how much each person owes. Even with close girlfriends, one person will buy a round one time, and the other person will buy the next round.
As far as how much a guy should be paying versus a woman... I think it's somewhat contingent on how much money a person makes, in my opinion. If you are a waitress and you're dating an executive banker, then he should pick up the bill a lot more often.
As well, if one of you has invited the person to a specific "special restaurant" or "event", then that person should pay.
Regardless of who I'm dating I will always pick up the tab for something quite early on. Even if you don't have a lot of cash, you can make him dinner, buy breakfast, or lunch, or pick up a round of drinks. I just think it's the classy thing to do.
