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DirtyMartini

Over 90 days ago

Male, 65

United States

Profile Stories

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22 May 2013

Quote by Senorita Dancing_Doll
Or in other words... El talento es gruesa por aquí!

I think you just called somebody a turnip, but I'm not really sure...

Yeah, you'll have fun over there...as you've already noticed, people will send you messages in Spanish...next will be the friend request from Spanish speaking members over on Facebook...after that you'll find yourself being the only non-Spanish speaking member of various Facebook groups...

Trust me on this one...been there, done that... Regaeman Man

Regaeman Man

22 May 2013

Quote by TheDevilsWeakness

Speaking of roots... I believe sprite had an interesting take on a little root from the grocery store.

Oh yeah...I vote Rachel gets a special Ginger badge...I know I will never look at ginger the same way again...

22 May 2013

CurlyGurly won a potato? Really? I hadn't even noticed... Regaeman Man

Regaeman Man

21 May 2013

A big well-deserved congratulations to Senorita Ashleigh Lake, aka Dancing Doll, on not only her first story posted in Spanish La Conexión En Cabo, but an Editor Pick as well...somewhat of a rarity over on Historias from what I can see...and btw, I believe this makes her the first person on the planet to get an EP on all three sites...truly one for the Lush Record Books my friends, Nicola Campbell take note...

Historias Lush - Sexo Anal Historias - La Conexión En Cabo
http://www.historiaslush.com/stories/sexo-anal/la-conexi%C3%B3n-en-cabo.aspx

I just thought it was worth noting... happy8

happy8

20 May 2013

Somebody invited me over to this site tonight, and I joined, as if the other 2.3 million writing, networking, and social media sites I'm on are not enough to keep me busy...but anyway, I'm told this site is pretty good...and despite the name, it's not just for indie authors...here's what is says on the site anyway...

Welcome to indiewritersupport.com. Our mission is to expose talented writers, either self-published or not, to a mass of book readers.

Whether or not that actually happens remains to be seen...but, it does look like its got a lot going for it...check it out my published writing friends... happy8

happy8

Indie Writers Support
http://www.indiewritersupport.com/

17 May 2013

Quote by agresator

ive tried serching for it but iwe noticed that the cersh function is pretty inacurate.

That's funny...I had to look up the word "cersh"...apparently this is what you're looking for...

Centre for Excellence in Rural Sexual Health - CERSH
http://www.cersh.com.au/

14 May 2013

Quote by crazydiamond

and just in case they are really terrible:

KIDDING!!

Oh Yeah Baby!...We could really use something like this over on the blue site...

Any chance of you making up something similar with a blue background?

Only kidding...yeah, right...let me know later, will ya? Thanks... Regaeman Man

Regaeman Man

14 May 2013

Quote by Kiki

Maybe it is done because of the resemblance of the editor's pick but I really think the black medal suits the style of the site better and is more appealing!

I like the black medal far better myself...much classier...not a fan of the new check mark at all...

Yeah, bringing back the black medal would be great...unless, of course, Lush started using something like a martini glass...now that would certainly work...

13 May 2013

Quote by Mazza
Ooh! That's a great review Alan!!

Yeah, I probably couldn't have done much better if I wrote it myself...

Btw, I can tell from the poems and stories mentioned that he read at least the first half of the book...I guess I should take it as a good sign he made it that far...just sayin'

13 May 2013

Quote by Her Helpful Spriteness

thank you for point that out i've fixed it so it reads as intended now - not sure what happened - a bug of sorts, perhaps.

Yeah, those bugs will get you every time...so, watch out...

Btw, on the topic of posting poems...Lush will always give you formatting issues if you copy and paste directly from Word...I'm sure one of the helpful mods here will post the links directing you to forum posts on the topic...ahem...

13 May 2013

Alright...a review of my book on an actual book review site...and this is a first for me btw...the book came out September, 2012, and I'm finding out it takes months, if you're lucky, to get a book reviewed...and books of short stories and/or poems are not always easy to get reviewed in the first place...

eFiction Reviews - I Often Wonder

And btw...eFiction Reviews is not connected with eFiction Magazine, and I won't get into all that, but Doug Lance of eFiction Magazine is not happy with their use of the name...

Anyway, eFiction Reviews is a relatively new book review site started by playwright Warren Thurston...as some here might know, it often takes quite a while to get a book reviewed, especially if you're not with a major publisher...so, when I saw mention of this site, I immediately sent him an e-copy of the book...

And yeah, this is a first for me, as I mentioned...and I happen to be very happy with the results here...check it out my Lushketeer friends... happy8

happy8

11 May 2013

AUTHORSdB is an author database site for consolidating all your book listings, social media, etc...

Here at AUTHORSdB we've formed the only database of authors, including social media, book listings and much more, for today's mind-field of thousands of aspiring and established writers. We are a dedicated website that helps authors for free.

It is a free author database where you can post links to your book, website, Facebook page, Lush Page, Twitter, G+ page, and just about anything else you can think of...it's worth taking a look my friends...and it is free, so you can't really beat the price...

Check out my listing btw...I know you want to...

AUTHORSdB > Author Directory > Alan W. Jankowski
http://authorsdb.com/authors-directory/1824-alan-w-jankowski

Anyway, once you move up into the Top 25 they sort of promote you a bit more...sort of like the Featured Member thingy here on this fine site known as Lush Stories...

Currently I'm at No. 26 btw out of 1400+ members...so, everyone go click on my page to move me up a notch...thanks... happy8

happy8

10 May 2013

HootSuite is a social media management system for brand management created by Ryan Holmes in 2008. The system’s user interface takes the form of a dashboard, and supports social network integrations for Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Google+, Foursquare, MySpace, WordPress and Mixi.

HootSuite - Social Media Management
http://hootsuite.com/

Anyway...I think if you actually know how to use this, you can type something and it goes out to every social media site on the planet at once...

I did manage to join and log on...I have to say it displays Facebook news feeds better than the FB Timeline thingy...but haven't really figured out how to post anything...I'm told it's a useful thing though...

10 May 2013

Here we go...

10 May 2013

Quote by steffanie

Can't we just have "The Greatest Story of All Time Award" and put an end to all the arguments.

Of course we could do that...in fact, that's a great idea...

Which one of my stories would you suggest?

9 May 2013

Quote by gav

We shall be retiring him once he has outlived his use.

Oh good...thanks...just noticed your response here...he's a bit annoying, but do what you got to do...

9 May 2013

Quote by Rancher007
Hey not sure what this is as i open up i see a ghost like figure right below the L on lush what is this.

Is this what you're talking about? That rectangle shaped thingy? I have this problem over on the blue site, but not here...I sent a message to Gav...it's making it hard to return to the home page...

I don't know why I have it over there, but not here...I have my settings the same, I think anyway...

9 May 2013

Jimi Hendrix - Wild Thing - Monterey 1967

7 May 2013

Quote by Potato Owning CurlyGirly

Alan, you need to really do a better job about hiding your 'tater envy!

Ha Ha, very funny...I have no idea what this "tater envy" you speak of is...

Btw, I been meaning to ask you...were you able to hook up your potato to your computer alright? Supposedly, if you're using Windows 7 or later, the potato drivers should automatically install...but, I'm sure Gav sent you complete instructions...

7 May 2013

Well, it's certainly nice to see you give away something useful this time Nic instead of another damn potato...

Oh wait...how about a High Definition Potato?

7 May 2013

Giving away a camera this time, eh Nic? You know, there's a rumor going around Lush that you had some potatoes left over from the last competition that you didn't know what to do with...

I'm not so sure about this camera thing you're giving away...I hope it looks legit...

7 May 2013

I thought I saw my name and "bad dream" in the same sentence...must have been that damn auto-correct again...

Yeah, I think Gav has a point...and any story that has 340 Five votes doesn't need a ribbon to get it more attention btw...I'm not sure that member input by voting in addition to what we're already doing is a good idea though...

And I can tell you that not everyone is happy with the few we've picked over on the blue site already...not that everyone on a story site will ever be happy...just sayin'

6 May 2013

Apparently Gav had to take the site down earlier to properly install my new Bug Slayer badge...

Relax though, it's over with...you can stop by my page and view it if you like...oh, and thanks Brother Gav...

6 May 2013

A certain Miss Daisy Shylass made a comment over on FB about how Lush keeps "going down"...so, I just got inspired to write this one today...

Lush keeps going down,
And not the way I would like,
Need to talk to Nic.

5 May 2013

Quote by steffanie

On storiesspace there are two stories that have both awards.

Both got Editor Picks first. Doesn't make much sense to me.

Shhhh, don't tell anybody...I think that's supposed to be a secret...yeah, I think we were still working out what this Recommended thing actually means...I didn't even hear about it until I saw the ribbon...and I work there, I think...

3 May 2013

Quote by kyliekained
If he is worried about his penis size this could well be the root of his problem. Does he read porn books and think that every guy other than him is super dick?

Yeah, I've been having performance anxiety ever since I joined Lush and found out that the average guy is packing a rock hard 14 inches...

Was curious how you came up with that 80% figure btw...and feel free to post more pictures while you're at it... Regaeman Man

Regaeman Man

2 May 2013

I know over on the blue site it's a bribery system...currently, it's $10.00 U.S. for a Recommended Read ribbon, and $25.00 for an Editor Pick...

I'm sorry, only joking...you did not actually read this...but, if you did...PM me for more details... Regaeman Man

Regaeman Man

1 May 2013

Let me guess...you have a loaded potato and you're not afraid to use it...

Do you have a permit to carry a loaded potato Curly-G?

1 May 2013

Good Afternoon my Lushketeer Friends...nice potato you got there Curly G...you gonna bring it with you everywhere you go to show off? Alright, rub it in...you got a potato, and we don't...

Anyway...Reverend Rump...what are the chance of you sending Busty down this way with a couple of tall glasses of Beaver Breath? I might be drinking heavily for the next few months, at least...and thanks for your useful suggestions over on the blue site about my upcoming author event...

Remind me not to hire you as a publicist...but, do send Busty down with the drinks...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

occasion5

30 Apr 2013

You sure they were his sister's panties and not his mom's? Or maybe they were his panties for all you know...that might explain a few things...