Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
You sure they were his sister's panties and not his mom's? Or maybe they were his panties for all you know...that might explain a few things...
Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
DirtyMartini
Over 90 days ago
Male, 65
United States
Forum
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by Buz
Unless you are in the porn industry, a stripper, or someone who openly makes a living in the very liberated sex industry then you should learn to be very discrete.
Your career or job could depend on it.
Damn, now you tell me...
Oh wait, I'm thinking maybe DirtyMartini is not my real name...never mind...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by sugarbabe
S.O.S.
by the Police
makes me want to pull my hair out, or break something....
I might have to agree with this one...it's probably not the absolute worst song ever written, but I agree with you in that I can't stand it...I'm not a fan of the Police at all btw...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
I heard somebody say something about subs...we ordering sandwiches here?
Let me know...I'm getting the munchies...
Let me know...I'm getting the munchies...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Just saw this today and thought it worth sharing...I think a few here can relate...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Writer.ly has some good and useful stuff for authors...anyone on Facebook might want to "like" their page btw...just a suggestion...
Here's a video that might be of interest to some of my friends here...
Twitter for Authors: Part one - build your tribe
Here's a video that might be of interest to some of my friends here...
Twitter for Authors: Part one - build your tribe
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Happy Birthday Miss Mazza...
I got you a nice cake...hope you enjoy it...
Cheers,
Alan.
I got you a nice cake...hope you enjoy it...
Cheers,
Alan.
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Good Evening Lushketeers...alright, I just posted another picture of Marilyn Chambers here...how many free drinks does that entitle me to?
Pass me down a bottle of Beaver Breath when you get a chance Rump...
I heard a rumor it's supposed to be Miss Mazza's birthday or something...that sounds like a good reason to party to me...so, pass me a bottle of bourbon for a chaser as well...thanks...
Cheers,
Alan.
Pass me down a bottle of Beaver Breath when you get a chance Rump...
I heard a rumor it's supposed to be Miss Mazza's birthday or something...that sounds like a good reason to party to me...so, pass me a bottle of bourbon for a chaser as well...thanks...
Cheers,
Alan.
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
I like flying, especially taking off and landing...when you're up in the air in a big plane for hours it can get a bit boring...
Small planes are fun, as mentioned...got to go up in a small plane a couple of times in my life...I think the last was a Piper Comanche B...wouldn't mind doing that again...
Small planes are fun, as mentioned...got to go up in a small plane a couple of times in my life...I think the last was a Piper Comanche B...wouldn't mind doing that again...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Men have searched the entire Earth,
And prayed to Heaven above,
For the one they can call their own,
A woman they can love.
A woman's love is so very special,
And can be a beautiful thing,
When you find the one you want forever,
Go out and get her a ring.
Challenge: Anal Bleaching
And prayed to Heaven above,
For the one they can call their own,
A woman they can love.
A woman's love is so very special,
And can be a beautiful thing,
When you find the one you want forever,
Go out and get her a ring.
Challenge: Anal Bleaching
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by sprite
one day, i want to write a story where all the words begin with the letter "P". that is my own personal goal.
Probably problem prone, possibly purposeless past passionately pleasuring private parts.
(And you could never write a story with all "P" words...who you kidding? Ginger begins with a "G")
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by sprite
one day, i want to write a story where all the words begin with the letter "P". that is my own personal goal.
Probably problem prone, possibly purposeless past passionately pleasuring private parts.
(And you could never write a story with all "P" words...who you kidding? Ginger begins with a "G")
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by Buz
Man you have a lot of time on your hands!
Was there a pun intended there? Get a grip Buz...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by GingerKitty
I keep it all. Sometimes looking back on it can give you an idea for a new story, or you can edit the half finished piece of crap and polish it up.
You can also take a couple of unfinished pieces of crap and put them together to make, hopefully, one not so crappy piece...I've done it with poems a number of times...if you have two or three poems which are going nowhere fast, just take out the best lines from each and put them together...with any luck, you'll get one halfway decent poem out of the deal...
I've only done it once with a story..."Sexual Healing" which is my most popular story, in terms of reader response, not view count, was the result of me going through my unfinished stories back in late February 2010...
There was that story, which was one page in Word that I had started in Oct. 2009, a couple of weeks before I joined Lush btw...and there was another story called "The Best Part Of Breaking Up"...
The latter was a humor piece I had in mind about a guy who starts arguments with his significant other in order to get makeup sex...I couldn't think of a way he could insult her without it becoming possibly distasteful, so I abandoned the story...it was only one paragraph at the time...but, the opening paragraph explained how in order for someone to annoy you, you have to have feelings for them...
Anyway, that section in "Sexual Healing" where it starts "There is something I learned a long time ago. The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference." came from that abandoned story...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Yeah, I had no idea this was in the record books either my friends...
Anyway, this thing she's got between her legs sounds positively dangerous...heck, she could probably mash a potato with that thing...
Russian Gymnast Has the World's Strongest Vagina
http://www.counselheal.com/articles/4276/20130308/russian-gymnast-worlds-strongest-vagina.htm
Anyway, this thing she's got between her legs sounds positively dangerous...heck, she could probably mash a potato with that thing...
Russian Gymnast Has the World's Strongest Vagina
http://www.counselheal.com/articles/4276/20130308/russian-gymnast-worlds-strongest-vagina.htm
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
I would never really throw anything away I wrote, or purposely delete it...I've lost some stuff I hadn't finished, first time when my netbook got stolen in Sept. 2010...and again when my system crashed right around New Year...but nothing really major...
I've only really been writing in earnest since 2009, so everything is sort of posted on the internet somewhere, for better or worse I might add...
I did write two poems in high school, and a girl I went to school with reminded me about them a couple of years back...I have a feeling they're still in a drawer somewhere...
I did write out a couple of song ideas on paper in the 90's before I got a computer, which means they had to be before '96...a couple of them seem to work more as poems, and I posted one here "I Wish I Knew" is actually the oldest thing I have posted on Lush...early/mid 90's...
I've only really been writing in earnest since 2009, so everything is sort of posted on the internet somewhere, for better or worse I might add...
I did write two poems in high school, and a girl I went to school with reminded me about them a couple of years back...I have a feeling they're still in a drawer somewhere...
I did write out a couple of song ideas on paper in the 90's before I got a computer, which means they had to be before '96...a couple of them seem to work more as poems, and I posted one here "I Wish I Knew" is actually the oldest thing I have posted on Lush...early/mid 90's...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Congrats to all the winners...
Hey CG...I would tell Nic you need your potato for dinner this weekend and insist she air freight it to you from Australia...
I guarantee you'll never get another potato again...
Hey CG...I would tell Nic you need your potato for dinner this weekend and insist she air freight it to you from Australia...
I guarantee you'll never get another potato again...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Lush contest over,
Winners should be announced soon,
Where's my potato?
Winners should be announced soon,
Where's my potato?
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by crazydiamond
Ha! I just signed in and was greeted by "What you've missed on Lush" and a lovely little list of bits and pieces! I love it! Nice one
Oh yeah...I just saw that a couple of days ago when I logged into Historias...
I can't remember offhand what year it was the last time I logged out of Lush...so, I'll probably never see it here...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Not sure if this is the only Goodreads thread we have...but, this might be of interest...
The complete and unabridged guide to GoodReads for authors: Account set-up, customization, and widgets, lots of widgets
http://www.novelpublicity.com/2011/09/the-complete-and-unabridged-guide-to-goodreads-for-authors-account-set-up-customization-and-widgets-lots-of-widgets/
The complete and unabridged guide to GoodReads for authors: Account set-up, customization, and widgets, lots of widgets
http://www.novelpublicity.com/2011/09/the-complete-and-unabridged-guide-to-goodreads-for-authors-account-set-up-customization-and-widgets-lots-of-widgets/
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Good Evening my Lushkin Friends...wow, some big time stuff going on over here...that really is some wonderful news there Miss Mazza...don't forget us little folks when you become a big time movie producer...at least shout out when you drive past the bar in a limo or something...
Btw, Reverend...I do intend on checking out your latest insult to good taste and the English language...the title sort of intrigues me, in a positive sort of way I might add...
Apparently, it has been pointed out over on the blue site that I have a problem reading though...and Miss Rascal was nice enough to suggest that I get glasses to help me read...not sure how this is going to work, but who am I to argue with Miss Rascal...
(Lines up four tall glasses on the bar)
Anyway...could you be so kind as to fill up these here glasses...one with Beaver Breath, one with tequila, one with bourbon, and the last with moonshine...
Yeah, I'm not sure how this will help me with my reading...but Maggie did suggest it, so I'm willing to give it a shot...anything to help out the site...
I'll let you know how it works...I figure it won't hurt to be good and drunk before I read Rump's story anyway...ahem...
Cheers,
Alan.
Btw, Reverend...I do intend on checking out your latest insult to good taste and the English language...the title sort of intrigues me, in a positive sort of way I might add...
Apparently, it has been pointed out over on the blue site that I have a problem reading though...and Miss Rascal was nice enough to suggest that I get glasses to help me read...not sure how this is going to work, but who am I to argue with Miss Rascal...
(Lines up four tall glasses on the bar)
Anyway...could you be so kind as to fill up these here glasses...one with Beaver Breath, one with tequila, one with bourbon, and the last with moonshine...
Yeah, I'm not sure how this will help me with my reading...but Maggie did suggest it, so I'm willing to give it a shot...anything to help out the site...
I'll let you know how it works...I figure it won't hurt to be good and drunk before I read Rump's story anyway...ahem...
Cheers,
Alan.
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
I have to agree with whoever mentioned Mash...I never got into that show...maybe I just never watched it enough to get into it, but what little I did I found a bit rough...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by Her Royal Babeness
for the record, there are very few people who i'll let get away with calling me "babe".
So, you don't make your lover call you Her Royal Babeness? Frankly, I'm rather surprised...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by clum
I have one story at nearly 27,000 views. Judging by its current trajectory, I should get my Famous Story badge in about 4–5 years.
Yeah, I have one that's not real far behind that...I figure the day it hits 29,999 views, they'll up the Famous Story requirement to 3 million or something...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by Senorita Spriteness
when did you start having standards?
I'll remember that next time you send me a friend request over on Historias...
Btw Nic, if I win a potato, you can just ferment it for me and send me the vodka when it's done...thanks...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
I know there are a ton of threads on the subject of scoring, and I don't mean "scoring" as in getting some...it's probably the most popular topic here short of cock size and pubic hair...
Anyway, just had to post this somewhere...in other words, there will always be haters, so consider that when someone comes along and gives you that lonely 2 vote...and listen to Stephen, he has some good stuff to say...after all, who am I to argue?
“I have spent a good many years since--too many, I think--being ashamed about what I write. I think I was forty before I realized that almost every writer of fiction or poetry who has ever published a line has been accused by someone of wasting his or her God-given talent. If you write (or paint or dance or sculpt or sing, I suppose), someone will try to make you feel lousy about it, that's all.”
― Stephen King, On Writing
“Some people insist that 'mediocre' is better than 'best.' They delight in clipping wings because they themselves can't fly. They despise brains because they have none.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Have Space Suit—Will Travel
“Critics are to authors what dogs are to lamp-posts.”
― Jeffrey Robinson
“When you're different, sometimes you don't see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn't.”
― Jodi Picoult, Change of Heart
Anyway, just had to post this somewhere...in other words, there will always be haters, so consider that when someone comes along and gives you that lonely 2 vote...and listen to Stephen, he has some good stuff to say...after all, who am I to argue?
“I have spent a good many years since--too many, I think--being ashamed about what I write. I think I was forty before I realized that almost every writer of fiction or poetry who has ever published a line has been accused by someone of wasting his or her God-given talent. If you write (or paint or dance or sculpt or sing, I suppose), someone will try to make you feel lousy about it, that's all.”
― Stephen King, On Writing
“Some people insist that 'mediocre' is better than 'best.' They delight in clipping wings because they themselves can't fly. They despise brains because they have none.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Have Space Suit—Will Travel
“Critics are to authors what dogs are to lamp-posts.”
― Jeffrey Robinson
“When you're different, sometimes you don't see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn't.”
― Jodi Picoult, Change of Heart
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Just in case you need another reminder why commas are important...
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Just in case you need another reminder why commas are important...