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DirtyMartini

Over 90 days ago

Male, 65

United States

Profile Stories

Forum

4 Jun 2013

Quote by nicola
Alan, resize the animation to 150x150px.

Hmmm, thanks Nic...btw, what would be the easiest way to resize it? Could I use Paint, for instance?

4 Jun 2013

Wow...I am pleased to announce that this book is out now...and you can purchase a print copy for a mere $12.00...or you can download an e-copy for a price that's rather hard to beat...Free!...

Yes, you read that correctly my Lushketeer friends...Free...even I can afford that btw...heck, there might even be that much money in the register over at Rump's...

Here's the link for anyone here who wants to dig deep and part with zero dollars...

Inner Child Press - Anthologies Sales Specials
http://www.innerchildpress.com/anthologies-sales-special.php

Notice also that as you go through the names in the Table of Contents, you may see a few you will recognize from both this site and the sister site...famous erotic authors such as Laura Lee Sweet, Sherzahd, Alicia C. Cooper, um...myself...and a ton of others way too numerous to list in this here space...

Actually, for me anyway, it looks like a list of people on my friends list on the Lush sites and Facebook...but, anyway...check it out my friends...and the print version makes a great gift for that special someone... happy8

happy8

4 Jun 2013

Quote by Her Royal Wise Ass Spriteness

you have very nice breasts, Alan. when did you grow them?

Ha Ha...actually, I picked them out of a potato field, if that makes any sense...if not, check out my page these days...

Yeah, I just had the urge to change my profile picture...no particular reason, just thought it might be nice to change things up a bit...

And btw...they're supposed to bounce a bit, or something...but, the bounce ain't working...speak to Gav for me, will ya? This is important stuff here...

4 Jun 2013

OMG! Gav, please help immediately...I don't know what happened, but suddenly there was this big flash of light...and then my whole page just disappeared, like it burst into flames or something...

Please, check it out ASAP...thanks...

Lush Stories - Profile page for DirtyMartini
http://www.lushstories.com/dirtymartini

3 Jun 2013

Quote by naughtyannie

Come on, this is the internet, haven't you got any grumpy cats or frogs or something?

Hmmm...you know, come to think of it, you are so correct...I really should know better...

I did add some really cool music videos...for instance, it looks like a certain potato we know may have a career as a rock star... Regaeman Man

Regaeman Man

2 Jun 2013

Quote by Her Gullible Spriteness
did i win yet?

Why, yes you did as matter of fact...I posted the big announcement on my page earlier...it should be right next to the lesbian pajama party videos, for anyone who may be interested in that sort of thing... Regaeman Man

Regaeman Man

Lush Stories - DirtyMartini
http://www.lushstories.com/dirtymartini

2 Jun 2013

A new game in town,
It's Porn Star Or Potato,
Can you handle it?

2 Jun 2013

A new game in town,
It's Porn Star Or Potato,
Can you handle it?

1 Jun 2013

Yeah, I have to say that I am continually amazed at some of the stuff I come across on the internet...just when you think you've seen it all...well, something you find on the net will prove that apparently you haven't...

On the plus side, the internet can be a very valuable and informative tool...with some really useful and meaningful sites that truly benefit society and mankind in general...like the site that Jeff just posted here...and thanks Jeff... Regaeman Man

Regaeman Man

1 Jun 2013

Just sort of bumping this one...note that I am now Featured Author of the Week over here, and btw...don't know if I mentioned it, but there is a cover contest going on...it'll be going on all year btw...so, if you feel real generous today, you can give my cover a nice, fat, juicy 5-star vote...you have to click on the green arrow next to where it says "Image Rating" in order to vote...I know that's not immediately obvious, but such is life...

AUTHORSdB > Cover Contest > Other > I Often Wonder: a collection of poetry and prose
http://www.authorsdb.com/book-cover-awards/other/i-often-wonder-a-collection-of-poetry-and-prose-256

Feel free to enter your own covers btw...eBooks are welcome as well...I forget what you win...I think it's a year of free publicity or something, which could be potentially lucrative...

Yeah, got this notice earlier today...and a Badge should be forthcoming soon... happy8

happy8

AUTHORSdB (@AUTHORSdB) mentioned you on Twitter!
Inbox
x

AUTHORSdB (Twitter)
1:02 PM (3 hours ago)

to me
@Exakta66 Winner of the Author of the Week Banner Award @AUTHORSdB Pls RT #1AdB - @AUTHORSdB

Alan W. Jankowski,
You were mentioned in a Tweet!

AUTHORSdB
@AUTHORSdB
@Exakta66 Winner of the Author of the Week Banner Award @AUTHORSdB Pls RT #1AdB authorsdb.com/authors-direct…
12:02 PM - 01 Jun 13
Reply to @AUTHORSdB Retweet Favorite

30 May 2013

Quote by Liz
If they can see them, they can copy them.

Yeah, you can take a screen shot whether you have a cell phone or not...it doesn't take a whole lot of high-tech know how either...I did it with my netbook, just to show it could be done...

30 May 2013

Quote by nicola
My money is on Alan for the guys! That man sure has learnt the networking ropes over the last few years...

Uh oh...I heard my name... Regaeman Man

Regaeman Man

You know, I really don't know much about this stuff Nic...heck, I couldn't even win a potato in the last contest...I do think that the key to this Attention Whore thing is to post lots of sexy videos on your page though...

29 May 2013

Lois Winston posted this article from from her blog earlier today over in my LSF group...

--- In , Lois Winston <winston72@...> wrote:

What makes a bestseller? Why does one book take off while another equally well-written novel never gets noticed? It's the capricious nature of the publishing industry and the life authors have chosen--a topic often discussed and grumbled about when authors gather at conferences and conventions. Such was the case at Malice Domestic and the recent Festival of Mystery. Come on over to Inkspot today to learn more:

The Capricious Nature of This Life We Live
http://www.midnightwriters.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-capricious-nature-of-this-life-we.html

Lois Winston
The Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries
Publishers Weekly & Booklist starred reviews
http://www.loiswinston.com - http://www.anastasiapollack.blogspot.com
Emma Carlyle romances - http://www.emmacarlyle.com
follow me on Twitter: @anasleuth

The subject has been coming up lately in various writing groups...heck, it's always coming up really...but here are two related articles that have generated a certain amount of discussion as of late...

Survivorship bias: why 90% of the advice about writing is bullshit right now
http://www.tobiasbuckell.com/2013/05/27/survivorship-bias-why-90-of-the-advice-about-writing-is-bullshit-right-now/

And this one is worth a read as well...

Does This Make You Mad? (Why What Others Are Doing Isn’t Working for You)

http://goinswriter.com/why/

Anyway...good luck with that bestseller thing...I think all you can really do is put out a quality product, promote it as best you know how...and frankly, hope for the best...

28 May 2013

Here's a couple of ways for published authors here to help out the tornado victims in Oklahoma...in both cases, the proceeds from the book sales are going to The Red Cross, which has established a special fund...

Here's the first...I only have a Facebook page right now, but will update here as I become aware of anything else...

Authors for Oklahoma
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorsForOklahoma

Author Shelly Arkon is looking for book donations, including eBooks...take note Nicola...I'm going to see how many copies of my own book I can stuff into a padded envelope, and mail it off tomorrow...after I sign the books, of course...

If you have any questions about this one, you can contact Shelly directly...her e-mail is: " target="_blank" rel="noreferrer">darkblue">

Alternately, you can contact her through Facebook...

Facebook - Author Shelly Arkon
http://www.facebook.com/michele.bradfordarkon?ref=ts&fref=ts

Here's another event to benefit Oklahoma victims...again, it's a Facebook event, and here's the link to the event...it is run by Stephen L. Wilson, who does a lot of good stuff charity wise btw...

Indies In Action - Helping Tornado Victims In Oklahoma
http://www.facebook.com/events/332227263570736/?fref=ts

This is the info taken from the event page...any questions, you can contact Stephen direct...or, if you're not on FB, contact me and I'll forward them to Stephen...

Facebook - Stephen L. Wilson
http://www.facebook.com/StephenLWilson?fref=ts

This event is for those who support the effort to create a charity anthology for the victims of the Oklahoma tornado, which devastated Moore, Oklahoma on May 20th. Inspired by the effort of authors and artists worldwide who created a charity anthology for the victims of Sandy Hook, we are now organizing to help support the victims in Oklahoma. "Angels Cried" is the name of the Sandy Hook charity anthology, and several hundred dollars have already been donated to help that cause.
The members of Indies In Action are currently seeking others who have poetic submissions or art which can be compiled to create a quality anthology to raise funds for the victims of this tragedy. All proceeds will be donated to the May Tornadoes Fund, managed by the United Way.
If you are interested in learning more about our previous effort, you may do so by visiting the link http://indiesinaction.blogspot.com/ . If you would like to contribute to the effort, please do so by joining the Facebook group Indies In Action at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/IndiesInAction/
Be sure to indicate in this event that you are requesting authorization to join. It is an exclusive group, and we are selective about who we authorize to join. Thank you for your support, and please be sure to invite as many people as possible. I am particularly interested in hearing from people who live in Oklahoma, or who have witnessed tornado activity. This event ends on Sunday, June 2nd. At that time it is expected that we will also end submissions to the anthology. Please post if you have any questions.

26 May 2013

Being "world famous" is not enough for you, eh? Well, then here's a chance for inter-planetary stardom that you won't want to miss...check it out my Lush friends... happy8

happy8

Send Your Haiku To Mars! NASA Seeks Poets
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2013/05/02/180532424/send-your-haiku-to-mars-nasa-seeks-poets

Btw, it doesn't say anything about it having to be written in Martian...I'm admittedly not very fluent, but I guess Google Translate should work alright...

25 May 2013

Here's another erotica blogger, author Leanna Harrow, looking for guest authors...

Want to be a featured Author on Today’s Tease...at
http://authorteasereadings.wordpress.com/ ? Email me with "Today's Tease" in the subject and quick hello requesting the questions at xoxox ;)

Author Tease Readings - Making Naughty Nice
http://authorteasereadings.wordpress.com/

Take advantage of it my Lush Pub friends...

24 May 2013

Quote by overmykneenow

I don't know about that I just did an all user search and sorted by profile views

Edit: here you go member search link

Oh alright...just found out we can do that...shows you what I know...

We used to have a link to something called the "Leaderboard" created by Gav for the first A-Whore contest...I found the link, but it doesn't seem to work anymore...

http://www.lushstories.com/leaderboard.aspx?page=1

Here we go btw...the announcements from the first contest on Lush...

Runners and Riders
http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst6668_Runners-and-riders.aspx

See how many of those from the Top 20 then make it this time around...I don't think too many...

24 May 2013

Quote by overmykneenow

The most visited profile on the site is a male, Reeb - that is until Dancing_Doll takes that title in the next couple of months or so and goes on to be the first to break 1/4 million views

Where's that link anyway that tells you who the most viewed are? I was just trying to find it in the forum...I think it started in 2009 when Mara won the first Attention Whore comp...

24 May 2013

Oh damn, did I miss this? Did we hit 5000 members yet?

I miss stuff around here sometimes... Regaeman Man

Regaeman Man

24 May 2013

Quote by Dancing_Doll

How do you reply back to them? Google translate? Or do you just stay silent and mysterious?

I stay pretty silent and mysterious for the most part, though a few over there speak English, and some sort of do...I'm the silent, mysterious Senor Exakta66...

Yeah, I'm still Exakta66 over there...I never changed the name over there, so my page still looks like my page did here on Lush back when I joined four years ago or whatever...

Historias Lush - Exakta66
http://www.historiaslush.com/exakta66

Yeah, I been over there practically since the site started...the Spanish translation of my story "Sexual Healing" was the first love story on the site, just to give you an idea of how long I've been there...

And btw...I'm following you and Senorita Spriteness now if you noticed...though where that could lead, I have not a clue... dontknow

dontknow

24 May 2013

Here's some helpful advice from the experts for my writer friends here I thought worth sharing, though I'm sure most of my Lush friends are experts already...

No. 12 just made me laugh out loud btw... happy8

happy8

Writing Tips: 31 Most Invaluable Pieces Of Writing Advice From Famous Authors
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/22/writing-tips-_n_3319260.html?ir=Books&utm_campaign=052213&utm_medium=email&utm_source=Alert-books&utm_content=Title

23 May 2013

You did a fine job straightening that mess out Senorita Spriteness...but, on a much more serious issue...

New contest on Lush,
But no root vegetable,
Say it ain't so Nic.

23 May 2013

Quote by trinket
Is there a root vegetable for second prize? I nominate a beetroot

Yeah, I was just wondering if there was going to be any sort of third prize myself...

23 May 2013

Quote by trinket
Is there a root vegetable for second prize? I nominate a beetroot

Yeah, I was just wondering if there was going to be any sort of third prize myself...

23 May 2013

Quote by nicola

The smart money is on summerjones!

You might as well just give her the money and badge now...

22 May 2013

Quote by sprite

this it the internet. everyone here is an adult and can usually figure things out for themselves.

Say what? And what do you mean you're not really an animated cartoon character? You just ruined my day...

22 May 2013

Quote by sprite

this it the internet. everyone here is an adult and can usually figure things out for themselves.

Say what? And what do you mean you're not really an animated cartoon character? You just ruined my day...

22 May 2013

Quote by Shylass

Why not suggest a carrot, since with all the masturbation going on around Lush, people could probably use a vegetable to stop them going blind (pun intended)? Just a thought.

Are you suggesting that people on Lush should masturbate with a carrot? Or simply in front of the carrot? I'm not really clear on this whole carrot thing...

22 May 2013

I usually wrap it up, put a bow on it, and give it out as Christmas gifts... Regaeman Man

Regaeman Man

I'm sorry...why do you ask?

22 May 2013

Quote by Her Royal Ginger-Loving Spriteness

Latinfoxy - she's a doll. crazy as it is down there, she still makes time to translate stories.

There's a rumor she might be translating one of yours next...I think she's stuck on how to explain that whole ginger thing to a Spanish audience... dontknow

dontknow