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DirtyMartini

Over 90 days ago

Male, 65

United States

Profile Stories

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9 Feb 2013

Quote by sprite
i like books and they look pretty on my bookshelf - i just like looking at them when i'm hanging out in our bedroom relaxing.

You know, I heard a rumor that if you open a book up, there's stuff to read inside...don't know for sure, but that's the word going around...

Yeah, I like paper books too...you can do stuff with paper books you can't with eBooks...like wedge it under a table leg to keep a table from wobbling...you know, that sort of thing...

9 Feb 2013

I'm afraid to ask what the drink special might be...

9 Feb 2013

I'm afraid to ask what the drink special might be...

9 Feb 2013

Yeah, it sort of snowed yesterday...so...can't do this with a snow blower btw...

8 Feb 2013

Here is a video on using Google Docs that some may find of interest...it is an easy way to keep your work safe, and beats the heck out of flash drives...which are easily lost, and have been known to malfunction...Google Docs is also a great way to share, as this video explains... happy8

happy8

6 Feb 2013

I found this somewhat amusing..."The Redheaded Stepchild only accepts poems that have been rejected by other magazines. We publish biannually, and we accept submissions in the months of August and February only. We do not accept previously published work."...yes my friends, you read that right...so, send them your rejects, your worst crap...good writers need not apply... happy8

happy8

Redheaded Stepchild - Submit Poems
http://www.redheadedmag.com/poetry/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=48&Itemid=60

5 Feb 2013

Quote by nicola
I think he means he wants to write multiple endings (or continuing sections, however many there may be) himself, and link to the various options at the end of the first part.

I understood that...the thing is, he couldn't really link to multiple different endings, since unlike separate chapters posted here, they couldn't necessarily stand alone as stories...the multiple ending choices would pretty much have to be on the same page somehow...

But, I think he'll accept Jeff's suggestion of designing his own site...he'll invite us all over in a couple of days I'm sure... Regaeman Man

Regaeman Man

5 Feb 2013

I actually went alcohol-free for several years...

Yeah, those grammar school days were pretty tough from what I can remember...makes me want to drink just thinking about it... Pint Drunk

Pint Drunk

5 Feb 2013

Quote by nicola
I don't know of any site like this set up to cater for multiple outcomes / endings. The technique is rarely used these days, outside of video games!

I know of one writing site which has a category set up where people have the option of writing their own endings to a story, but that could could be a disaster waiting to happen...

I do recall we had the option to add "Embellishments" to a story, but I believe it was removed because the embellishments circumvented the moderating system...and it was rarely used anyway from what I could see...

Btw Nic...I believe what he meant to say was "Lush tech" not "Low tech"...must have been a slip of the fingers...damn auto-correct...

4 Feb 2013

Quote by Footlongsub
Hmm. Does that mean I need to change my avatar? Because it's misleading?

It looks alright to me...providing that's really your picture...

I just came across this one...does this look legit to everyone?

4 Feb 2013

Quote by DLizze
The last time I checked into it, I found that good writing, just like taking out the garbage contrary to popular belief, is NOT a sex-linked characteristic.

Lol...I don't think I ever heard writing compared to taking out the garbage before...but, I guess there are some similarities now that I think about it...

4 Feb 2013

Quote by nicola

I'm giving it a go for the whole 28 days...I can really relate to this article.

Who's with me?

Not me...but, I'll sit here and root for you...if it's any consolation... Pour Wine

Pour Wine

4 Feb 2013

Good Evening Lushketeers...looks like a party going on here, or maybe not...Reverend, would you be so kind as to slide a bottle of Beaver Breath down my way? I thought I heard Scooter say he was buying...or maybe that was last year...no matter...

Anyway...I heard Miss Elaine say she needs a good explanation of what the Super Bowl is all about...well Elaine...this picture is the best I can do...and with this baby, you don't have to worry about who wins, or if the lights go out...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

occasion5

3 Feb 2013

I was just wondering if anyone thinks this picture is fake...any thoughts?

2 Feb 2013

She looks like fun...had to post her somewhere...

1 Feb 2013

Good Morning there People of Lush...what are the chances of getting a cup of decent coffee this time of the morning? Maybe I shouldn't ask...just pass me over a sizable cup of whatever Busty concocted...and toss in a few ounces of Beaver Breath...just to kill any germs on the cup...you know, for medicinal purposes...

Btw, did I hear correctly that Mr. Scooter mentioned something about paying off my tab? I always knew you were indeed a gentleman Mr. Scoot...in spite of what the rest of the world may say...

What happen...you hit the Powerball or something? That might give you enough to pay off most of my tab...I do appreciate this btw...in fact, tell the Reverend to get you a drink...

And, um...put it on my tab...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

occasion5

1 Feb 2013

Quote by WellMadeMale
The basic ingredient is fish oil.

The problem with that is it won't cover up any fishy oders...what you really need is the Bacon Lube...goes great with a side of eggs...I mean side of legs...

I have no idea what I mean... Regaeman Man

Regaeman Man

26 Jan 2013

Quote by sprite
so, you won't let me write my story in all wingdings either?

Is this the story you just submitted to the contest over on the blue site? I thought it was yours, but you forgot to put your name on it...don't let it happen again, or I'll have to reject it...

26 Jan 2013

Chicago Transit Authority...I'm A Man...

25 Jan 2013

Here is another chance to get an erotic story or poem in print...in an upcoming anthology on Inner Child Press...and they do a really nice job btw...they published my own book... happy8

happy8

I'm putting this here rather than the "Contest and Submission Call" section, since there is no payment involved...just a chance to see your work in print...which is always nice btw...and you'll be able to get the book at a discount when it comes out...probably for less than ten bucks...

Opening for Submissions

Valentines Day

Hot Summer Nights

2013

poetry . . . prose . . . story . . . collaborations

CLOSES April 1st

Important . . . Read

This Offering is for the Sensual, Love Erotica
No Overt Vulgarity or Expletives . . . No Porn . . . No Child Molestation or .
We are looking for Creative Expressions that denotes the Feelings or Experiences of Passion, Desire and Love.
All that do not conform to these guidelines will be rejected without explanation at our discretion.
Inner Child Press
submit to

The Submission Rules are simple.
Please Read Carefully.
Paste your Poem / Prose along with the Title in the Email Body
Font : Times New Roman 12 PT
Underline your Title
Single Spaced without Indents
Work in ALL CAPS will not be accepted.
Please, No Attachments Accepted
Include your Name at bottom of Poem / Prose
You may include 1 Web Link with your work.
Your entry receipt will be verified by an automated response.
Please adhere to these guidelines explicitly.
There will be no further private communications

Any entries that do not comply with these simple guidelines will not be accepted.
Only 1 Piece per Entrant per Category

( Poetry, Prose & Collaborations )

ALL WORK MUST BE EDITED PRIOR TO SUBMISSION !!!

Submit To

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23 Jan 2013

Btw, I happen to like a nice bacon sandwich once in a while...though I think this one could use a bit more bacon...note the bottle of Wild Turkey in the background...looks like a nice meal to me...

You know...I don't really mind the government banning assault weapons...as long as they don't ban bacon assault weapons...

23 Jan 2013

See...there really is a solution for everything...

And for you religious types...

Sometimes I wonder though if adding bacon really makes everything better...

23 Jan 2013

See...there really is a solution for everything...

And for you religious types...

Sometimes I wonder though if adding bacon really makes everything better...

23 Jan 2013

Good Evening Lushkins...nice to see everyone here...hope it's not too late to get a tall mug of Beaver Breath...

Hey Scooter...if I pass you over my pipe, do you think you could pack a bowl for me? Thanks man, I appreciate it...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

occasion5

21 Jan 2013

Peter Paul & Mary...

20 Jan 2013

And for the man who has everything...allow me to present...the bacon shoe...

19 Jan 2013

Good Evening there Lushkins...Hope everyone is doing well this Friday-type evening...

Did I hear someone say they were buying drinks? Was that you Chef? Very nice of you, though I really hate to take advantage of your generosity...

Hey Reverend...pass me over that gallon jug of Beaver Breath sitting behind the bar...Chef says she's buying...thanks...

I might have a quarter to put in the jukebox though to get the party started...

(reaches into pocket, pulls out lint)

Hmmm...anyone here can loan me a quarter for the jukebox?

Anyway, this jug of BB should hold me over for the next hour or so...I be back...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

occasion5

19 Jan 2013

Hey Dlizze...you have far more patience than me if you can do watch repair...just sayin'

Dug up another picture I posted in an Exakta collector's forum...this was taken with an Exakta VXIIa circa 1960, 55/1.9 Steinheil Auto-Quinon and Kodak film...

The guitar btw, is the first 3 pickup Gibson Les Paul Double Cutaway ever made...I was in a car accident in 1997, and came into some money as a result...spent it all on custom guitars, but that's another story...seems like a lifetime ago for some reason...

19 Jan 2013

I don't have much scanned into my computer, but had this posted on another site...a Waltham pocket watch I inherited, belonged to my great-grandfather Walter Henry Jankowski...

1/25 @ f11 with Post-War Exakta 66, circa 1954, 80/2.8 Tessar with Extension Tubes and Kodak Portra 160.

17 Jan 2013

Good Evening my Lushketeer Friends...nice pictures there Mr. Scooter...I see you survived another birthday party, and that's always a good sign...we didn't need another dead body laying around anyway...Coma and Tose are enough...

A big "Howdy" to Chef, Sharon, CurlyG, Slippery2012, NymphW, and anyone else who I might have missed...

Hey Reverend...let me get a tall mug of Beaver Breath, with a Beaver Breath chaser...and a double shot of Beaver Breath on the side for good measure...just, um...put it on my tab...

Speaking of my tab...in a serious effort to pay that off...alright, attempt to make a dent...as well as possibly pay some other bills...I am making my Lushketeer friends an offer of a lifetime...and I don't make this offer to just anyone...

As some may know, I do have a book out...a fine collection of 78 poems and 4 of the finest short stories the literary world has ever seen...

I Often Wonder: a collection of poetry and prose [Paperback]
http://www.amazon.com/Often-Wonder-collection-poetry-prose/dp/0615690815

The book normally sells on Amazon for $19.95...but, I am able to offer my bar friends here a rare opportunity to purchase a copy signed by yours truly for just $15.00 plus $3.00 shipping...a grand total of approximately $18.00...payable to my PayPal account...my e-mail is:

Should any of you fine appreciators of literary masterpieces be interested...send me a note with your address...that price included shipping anywhere here in the U.S.A...other countries would be more, of course...

So...in the meantime...pass the drinks Rev. Rumpskin...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

occasion5