DirtyMartini's Forum Posts

7 Mar 2012

Quote by Fugs
oh, I really don't want to say this, but DirtyMartini is *cough* ummm *swallow* right.

Oh, that must have really caused you extreme pain...

Things must be slow around here eh Nic? And yeah, you made me read through the darn poem about three times...

Let me go back over to the blue site...there's probably real work to be done...

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7 Mar 2012

You know Nic, when you first posted about the "eachother" thingy I figured this could only pertain to a bunch of illiterates who can barely read and write...then I saw the brilliant collection of writers in your search above...

However...I'm looking at the poem that came up in the search, and for some reason, not only can't I find the word "eachother" but I'm not sure I even see the words "each" or "other"...

Help me out here...
http://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-poems/for-our-love-is-eternal.aspx

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7 Mar 2012

Hey Sugar B...if all the squirrels left on the floor was nuts, consider yourself lucky...and btw, this place is no stranger to nuts passed out on the floor...just sayin'

Anything left in whatever might be in that Crown Royal bottle Rump? As long as it ain't that damn kosher wine I'm game...

Nice to see Mr. Scooter and Miss Sharon hanging out, and the lovely Chef of course...I'm telling you, this place is really drawing them in...and the fact that the people here have been kicked out of every other bar in town has nothing to do with it, I am sure...

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7 Mar 2012

Quote by nicola

There is no such word as "eachother." It should always be split into 2 separate words.

Thankyou...I'll keep that inmind... Regaeman Man

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6 Mar 2012

Why should today be any different?

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6 Mar 2012

Nice to see you there Miss Mazza, and I know that busy feeling as of late...let me guess, you're out helping Smokey Da Bear today? Perhaps with job security...um, never mind...

Btw, the place always seems hotter when you're around...must be that new avatar picture, hot enough to melt a guy's heart...it truly puts the "hot" in hot...no wait, truly puts the "ho" in hot...

No wait, that ain't right either...let me think for a bit, pass that Quarter Pounder Chef...I'll be back... Regaeman Man

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6 Mar 2012

Good Morning Lushketeers...hope everyone is doing well in this neck of the woods, and I do mean woods...

Ah yes, the smell of that coffee is indeed strong...which is a good thing, because it covers up the smell of the rest of the place...

Morning Buz, Rump, SugarBabe, Coma, Tose and whoever else may be left over from last night's festivities...

Hey Chef...just have to ask...any more of that Quarter Pounder left? That one does look tasty I might add...

Pass me a coffee...I just need to inhale the fumes, hopefully I won't OD...
Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

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6 Mar 2012

Quote by Fugs

The embarrassing thing for me is that cumgirl got more views in one month than I have in 18 months

Lol...I can think of people who have been here a lot longer than 18 months who don't have 17k views...

I have to say CumGirl, you are truly a whore among whores...and I say that with all sincerity, and you even have a custom badge to prove it...

I have to admit I have a bit of jealousy there...especially with that custom badge thingy...

Btw, if you're looking for a really reputable charity to donate the funds to, there is a rumor going around that The DirtyMartini Foundation is now accepting donations...

If you want more info as to where to send the funds, drop me a PM...it's the least I can do... happy8

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6 Mar 2012

Quote by nicola
I highly recommend adding a disclaimer at the start / end of your stories.

Then when people come along and read that the stories have been stolen, they'll head over to here, where the original is kept, and the content thieves will be exposed for the *insert your favourite expletives here* they are.

Nice idea in theory, but it doesn't take much for them to remove that...I know these people generally aren't too bright, but something like that would stand out...

And btw, I don't think they're stealing these from either Lush or that "other L-site"...they have stories of mine which were rejected by both...

Link to competing story site removed by admin. You should know better by now.

I think I know where they're getting the stories from, but I don't think I should say... Shhh

But, I can tell where they're coming from by the stolen tag lines as well...

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17 Feb 2012

Quote by nicola
You're clutching at straws DM!

Heck, I've clutched at less...

There has to be some sneaky, underhanded, diabolical scheme to help me win this...I just haven't thought of it yet...

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17 Feb 2012

You know...I was reading up on something called "URL Redirection"...

URL Redirection
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/URL_redirection

Is there any way that if someone clicks on Sprite's or Cumgirl's page it automatically redirects to my page...which is here, btw...just sayin'

Profile Page - Dirty Martini
http://www.lushstories.com/dirtymartini

Anyway...something for me to think about, I know I can figure this out... Regaeman Man

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17 Feb 2012

Quote by Her Spriteness

i actually write for my pastor - he's kind of hot and i have a crush on him. the things that go on in my side of the confessional box are... well... maybe i shouldn't share.

Oh, please do...in fact, post them on my profile page when you get a chance...it would be a nice change from all those camel toe pictures you've been posting...

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17 Feb 2012

Good Evening My Fellow Lushketeers...ah yes, your story Your Most Reverendness...and I see my name has been mentioned here, and not in too bad of a fashion btw...

Yeah, I did make a few calls Reverend, pulled a few strings, greased a few palms...had my people call their people...made a few promises, a few threats, posted my first and second born as collateral...but, I did get your story posted...a drink would be more than adequate payment btw...and not that box of stale kosher wine you've been trying to get rid of for the last two years...

Yeah, I had to go all the way to the top this time...thank the Matriarch for this one...

There's only so many things they allow me access to over on Stories Space...and they won't let me have the keys to the liquor cabinet either...which I really don't understand... dontknow

Maybe you can put in a good word for me Rump in turn...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

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17 Feb 2012

Quote by redhot363236

As far as being ashamed, I wouldn't show them to my pastor

You never know what your pastor might like btw...I started writing erotica a couple of years back, and now I have stuff in church bulletins, including one this month...but, that's another story...

As far as being ashamed? Well...I think I'm at least slightly ashamed of a couple of the things I posted over on Poetry Craze back in '09...I really must have thought I was never going to write again...

Just saying... happy8

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17 Feb 2012

Yeah, I started with third actually...two out of my first three stories were third, but really I greatly prefer first person for various reasons I don't feel like typing...

Really, either works...as long as you don't use second person...then you're just doomed for complete and total failure from the start...

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15 Feb 2012

Happy Birthday Callisto...
Regaeman Man

I was trying to find a nice gif that said "Happy Birthday Callisto" but came up blank...damn internet...hope this works...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

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15 Feb 2012

Quote by RumpleForeskin

It's also a good idea to try and avoid overusing introductory prepositional phrases. That is to say, a sentence with a opening clause beginning with an "ing" word.

Say what? Speak English in here, will ya?

And I have to agree with MoW...you really should open the door before you go through it...unless, of course, you're doing one of those Superman fanfiction stories...then you might be able to get away with that stuff... happy8

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14 Feb 2012

Quote by Moderator Spriteness
his wife, Tammy, was 5'6" and weights 120 pounds and had red hair and green eyes. her breast were a DD cup.

5'6" red hair, green eyes and DD cup???

I really don't see anything wrong with that description at all, if you really want to know...I think you're just trying to cause trouble again...

I might have to actually meet her though...just to check if she does indeed "measure up"...just saying... happy8

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13 Feb 2012

Quote by nicola

littlesister_ 5,397
sprite 4,732
cumgirl 3,835
amyboston 3,817
naughtyannie 3,815

Damn...I'm embarrassed to admit how far off I am from those numbers...

I think it might be time to change my profile page to a bisexual female and start posting my lesbian cheerleader toy party porn collection...

All twelve volumes...just saying... happy8

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12 Feb 2012

Here's some writing advice for today...not sure if it will really help you though...

If it does, you can thank me later... happy8

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12 Feb 2012

Good Morning My Lushketeer Friends, and a big Amen unto thee the most Righteous of Reverends Rumple...

Yes, His Holiness...I am indeed prepared for some Makers Mark...especially since we are once again out of communion wine, but what else is new around here?

Pass me a cup of Makers...perhaps with a shot of coffee in it to give it some extra kick...and very inspirational sermon there Rev...I feel inspired to drink already...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

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12 Feb 2012

Quote by GallagherWitt
GAWD that stuff drives me nuts. >.< Sex is an enormous part of the human condition, and acting like we shouldn't write about it is absurd. Especially when most of the people who spout all that crap have no problem at all with violence.

Yeah, here's a recent article along the same lines...and I think you can appreciate this one G-W...needless to say, this decision caused a bit of backlash...I had to post this somewhere, and this seems like the spot...

Ban on same-sex stories in romance competition causes outcry
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2012/feb/08/ban-same-sex-romance-competition?newsfeed=true

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12 Feb 2012

She is a friendly bee who likes to buzz around Lush... happy8

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12 Feb 2012

Howdy all my fellow frozen Lushkins...about time you so-called Southern types sampled snow...I mean the kind that falls from the sky...well, you know...

Anyway, yeah Reverend Rumpster...I'll take an Irish Coffee...did Busty make the coffee by any chance? If you could, add a little extra Sams Club Irish Whiskey to kill the taste...just sort of tip the bottle over and keep pouring...

Just saying...
Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

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12 Feb 2012

Quote by Dancing_Doll

I think it's time to show us yo' dick, DM... just sayin'

You think that would get more views to my page Doll? Hmmm...let me go get my camera...

You know, I tried before but couldn't get it all in the picture at once...maybe I'll try again... happy8

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11 Feb 2012

I prefer coke myself...

Oh wait...wrong poll...actually, I'm not too big on carbinated beverages unless they contain alcohol...

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11 Feb 2012

Quote by nicola
The scores on the doors after a week:

submissivemom72 13,956
cumgirl 9,041
naughtyannie 8,609
kim 8,345
vanessahearts 7,608

Submissive Mom has quite a following!

You know those really are impressive numbers...it's amazing what a few naked pics and explicit stories can do...

I really think we need to have a contest like this over on the blue site...I'll talk to Lisa about it later... happy8

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11 Feb 2012

Little Richard Penniman...

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11 Feb 2012

Quote by nicola
Where are you published Rawiya?

All the authors here are published...on lush

Technically...yes Nic, but I found something recently I thought interesting enough to share as to what defines a "published" author...I became aware of this list recently in a newsletter, and have been trying to get on it as a "published fiction writer"...I realize I am exactly one publishing credit away, btw...

P&W's Directory of Poets and Writers
http://www.pw.org/directory/featured

I mean, getting that story in the school paper might have impressed your mom but might not be the thing to include if you're hoping to impress an agent or going for a writing job...

Anyway...this is what they want...

Thank you for your interest in applying to be listed in our Directory of American Poets and Writers. Before applying, please read the Evaluation Criteria below to see if you are eligible for listing. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact the Directory Administrator.

EVALUATION CRITERIA:
Applications are evaluated on a point system. Poets, ﬁction writers, creative nonﬁction writers, and spoken word artists are invited to apply. You must have 12 points in a category to be listed; i.e. you must have 12 poetry credits to be listed as a poet.

The following count as points for listing:

Each book of poetry, ﬁction, or creative nonﬁction (personal essays or memoirs) (12 points)
Each chapbook (6 points)
Each work of ﬁction or creative nonﬁction (personal essays or memoirs) published in a literary journal, anthology, or edited Web publication (2 points)
Each spoken word performance (not readings) (2 points)
Each poem published in a literary journal, anthology, or edited Web publication (1 points)
The following do not count as points for listing:

Journalism or scholarly texts (biography, history, how to, travel guides, book reviews)
Publications from vanity presses such as International Library of Poetry, Poetry.com, Noble House Publishers or from other presses or publications that ask authors to pay all or some of the publishing costs
Self-published work, or work from presses such as Publish America that do not offer authors standard book contracts, including, but not limited to, online entities like iUniverse.com, lulu.com, and AuthorHouse.com
Writing for children under the age of 12
Credits from publications that do not regularly publish poetry, ﬁction, or creative nonﬁction
Work published by a journal, anthology, or press for which you make editorial decisions
Plays or dramatic treatments
Translations

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11 Feb 2012

I think I would call this a "Park Name Fail"...

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