DirtyMartini's Forum Posts | Lush Stories

Join the best erotica focused adult social network now

DirtyMartini

Over 90 days ago

Male, 64

United States

Profile Stories

Forum

20 Jan 2012

Quote by Dudealicious
One of mine is the statement "you know" it drives me insane! Another is "like".

Hey Dude...whatever do you mean you don't like the word "like?" I happen to think the word "like" is like totally fuckin' awesome, and if you don't mind me saying it may in fact be the best thing since sliced bread...

Btw, keep this list coming...if it gets big enough, I may want to see if I can use all these words and phrases in a poem...

Just sayin'... happy8

happy8

20 Jan 2012

Quote by Magical_felix

That's not true... I go through like 7 tissues when I read a wellmademale story.

Seven tissues, eh? I guess Jeff's stories really bring tears to your eyes...

Yeah, I would have to agree a WellMade story can be really touching...I especially liked that last one about the retired circus midget that went into the anal bleaching business...

I mean, if that don't bring tears to your eyes...nothing will... happy8

happy8

19 Jan 2012

Quote by lafayettemister
I can tell you that this shit is extremely difficult. To play an entire orchestral piece of music with only one variety of intrument.

You're right...it is hard to play an entire orchestral piece with one instrument, but it can be done... happy8

happy8

18 Jan 2012

Quote by JustJenni

I'm not quite sure what this stuff is I'm drinking but I like the fact it's glowing and the bubbles going down in the glass is a nice touch...

Damn Girl...you didn't put the straw in the lava lamp, did you? I told Rump not to leave that out on the bar...

Thanks for the vid btw... Regaeman Man

Regaeman Man

18 Jan 2012

Btw, speaking of non-erotica...just posted this over on that wonderful blue site with the friendly and knowledgeable staff...

Ever wonder what not to write about? Here's a start... happy8

happy8

Stories We've Seen Too Often
http://www.strangehorizons.com/guidelines/fiction-common.shtml

18 Jan 2012

Oh, here we go...for anyone who feels particularly brave... happy8

happy8

This sounds like something I would do...just sayin'

Help us write a story in clichés
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/3563975.stm

18 Jan 2012

Well...thanks Jenni...and judging by your picture there I think we can always find a seat for you...even if we have to move a couple of the regulars out back by the dumpster...they probably wouldn't notice anyway...

Thanks for the consumables...and yeah, you have to be careful with the bar nuts...both the ones sitting on the stools and the ones in that old bowl on the bar...

As for the ones in the bowl...a rule of thumb is that if they're moving, it's best to avoid them...just saying... happy8

happy8

18 Jan 2012

Happy Birthday Jim...

Pint Drunk

Pint Drunk

occasion6

occasion7

occasion1

occasion4

occasion5

hello1

Was trying to find a sexy bike birthday card, but this was all I could come up with...

Oh wait...looks like I found a Bacon Birthday Card... happy8

happy8

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

occasion5

18 Jan 2012

Oh, there you go ArtMan...the girl does indeed look tempting...I'll bring my own snake though... happy8

happy8

18 Jan 2012

Quote by The Right Reverend RumpleForeskin
Someplace in the forum is an article I posted a few years ago called, "How To Be A Happy Hooker," or some such. It focuses on story openings.

Here you go Reverend...
http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst5411_How-To-Be-A-Happy-Hooker.aspx

Damn, that thread was started before I even knew what Lush was...hard to believe there once was such a time...

Btw, I don't know that the rules for how much intro a story needs are etched in stone...the amount of intro you'd put in a 2k word "quickie encounter" story might be rather different from what you'd put in a 5k love story...

But, that should be sort of obvious...me thinks...

18 Jan 2012

Good Evening my fellow Lushketeers...damn, I don't stop by this dive for a couple of days and this place just goes down hill...the Reverend gave his Sunday sermon a day late...no wonder all the communion wine was gone before I even had a chance...

It appears that this place has officially hit rock bottom and is now digging deeper...who'd have thunk it?

Anyway...nice to see Buz and Jenni wondering into these hallowed halls...always good to see fresh meat, I mean, um, new customers bless us with their presence...

Btw, I'd like to remind the newbies that there is a tradition around here of new customers buying a round of drinks for the house...ain't that right Mr. Rumple?

So, um...Rev. Rump...anything left in that Crown Royal bottle? Feeling a bit thirsty...just open it, stick a straw in and pass it over...

Yeah, that's the ticket...
Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

occasion5

18 Jan 2012

Quote by Buz
The Sex Pistols - God Save the Queen
Pure fucking genius!!!!

Funny, you reminded me of that...when that song first came out, 1976 me thinks? I'd heard it on the radio before you could get it here...my father happened to be going on a business trip to England, and I conned him into getting it for me...

He reminded me for a while afterwards that it probably wasn't the safest thing for him to ask for at the time...it was rather controversial...but, let's just say I was the first kid on my block with the picture sleeve 45... happy8

happy8

18 Jan 2012

Hello Baby...this is The Big Bopper speaking...and you know what I like... happy8

happy8

18 Jan 2012

Quote by Milik_The_Red
That was absoutly hilarious
Who said Jazz musicians were more cool than poets!

I thought that rather entertaining myself...

Lee is now on both the red and blue sites now...he's RantingSenior...some of his other stuff is perhaps equally twisted, perverse, and demented...and I don't mean that in a bad way... happy8

happy8

18 Jan 2012

Quote by nicola
I've heard this site is good for non-erotic stories, if you're interested in getting them published online.

It's run by a really lovely woman too: http://www.storiesspace.com

Yes...and let's not forget the talented, helpful, friendly and courteous staff... happy8

happy8

And already sent her a note about the site...and sort of casually mentioned the contest as well...

16 Jan 2012

Quote by Milik_The_Red
I'm certain that having it brought to my attention will enable me to use this skill more efficiently in the future.
Thanks for the tip!

Btw Milik...nice to see you back around here and writing again...I have a feeling a few here would agree with me on that one...

Hey, not every day people agree with me, but I think they would this time... happy8

happy8

16 Jan 2012

Quote by Pixie
Mine still is not working......

You just haven't got any mail...

Just messing with you...haven't done that in a while... happy8

happy8

15 Jan 2012

Yeah, I got about twenty messages about PM's and story comments I got here and the blue site over the last couple of days...

So...I take it everything's back to normal...whatever that means... happy8

happy8

15 Jan 2012

Yeah, Happy Birthday there Mr. Scooter...
Regaeman Man

Regaeman Man

occasion7

occasion5

occasion9

occasion4

Regaeman Man

bates

3601

hello1

There were reports of wildfires because of the amount of smoke rising over Northeast Ohio...but, I said it's probably just Scooter celebrating his birthday...

Hopefully you found someone interesting to celebrate with...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

occasion5

15 Jan 2012

Quote by Fugs
Noticed today that when logged off, there are only two pages of stories available from the home page ??? Logged on and you have 1124 pages

You didn't think you accidentally deleted 1100 pages of stories...did you?

You moderators have to be careful what you do around here...just sayin'

15 Jan 2012

Quote by SouthernJim
what is the one thing you wish you could do over to change the out come.....

Hmmm...I wish I had bought the winning lottery ticket instead of the one I did get...

Does that count?

15 Jan 2012

Quote by gypsymoth
Between one hour, several months, and many years.

That is a classic answer there Gypsy I must say...glad you don't charge by the hour...would be a bit rough if you had to submit an estimate in advance, me thinks... happy8

happy8

15 Jan 2012

Admittedly not the best quality vid...that time clock thingy is a bit annoying...but, it sure is fun... happy8

happy8

14 Jan 2012

14 Jan 2012

Quote by Callisto

You might want to check your inbox, maybe you missed an important notice....

Thanks there Callisto for that vote of confidence, hopefully if I'm being sacked the notice would at least be spelled correctly as Nic pointed out...actually, I was told that Gav made some changes that won't be effective until you log out and log in again...something to do with refreshing cookies...

I'm one of those Lush members who logged on here about two years ago and hasn't logged in since...maybe I should try to make it a point to log in and out the beginning of each month or something...at least the beginning of each year...

I'll add it to my "To-Do" list...just saying... happy8

happy8

14 Jan 2012

Here you go...someone just shared this in a writing group, and I thought I'd share it here...

Amazon's Plagiarism Problem

Ooops...I deleted the link to that article on Fast Company, because it mentions another site a bit much...it's a good article, but it probably doesn't tell you a whole lot you can't figure out from reading this thread...

14 Jan 2012

I generally try to start and finish a short story in the same night, I'm sort of of the belief that a short story should be written in one night, for the same reason you would normally read a short story in one night...it is one complete thought...does that make sense?

Anyway, so I don't have a lot of unfinished stories kicking around, unless I get too tired or something...

I think I do have a couple of unfinished stories though, one erotic, one not that I can think of...

Poems are a whole different story, btw...they normally sit around unfinished for weeks...

13 Jan 2012

Quote by Catnip
It's happened in the past too. So I do not think it's a v2 bug.

Hmmm...happened to me recently as well, and the first time ever since I joined here in 2009...so, it may be an issue...

Looked around for the darn "Post Reply" button like, forever, before I finally figured it out...

Btw Gav...haven't been able to find the moderator forum on the blue site since yesterday...someone trying to tell me something?

13 Jan 2012

Quote by sprite
i should add that, like Doll, when i sit down and write, the basic story is firmly in my head -

Yeah, I'd have to pretty much agree with that...otherwise I'd just sort of sit down and stare at a blank screen...

I figured out once it takes me about an hour per page in Word to write a story...for all that's worth... happy8

happy8

13 Jan 2012

For the record...I like both boobs and ass on a girl...but, that's just me...