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DirtyMartini

Over 90 days ago

Male, 64

United States

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13 Jan 2012

Good Morning Lushkins...what's that about DirtyMartini not paying his tab? Surely you have me mistaken for someone else...maybe that Exakta66 guy...now there was trouble if I've ever seen it...

Anyone bother to make anything resembling coffee in any significant way, shape or form yet? I could use something to try to wake up at the moment...

Just, um, put it on Exakta66's tab...and pass the mug...hopefully Busty wasn't too hung over this morning when she made it...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

occasion5

13 Jan 2012

Good Evening Lushketeers...nice to see some new faces in this Hell hole of an establishment...

How is everyone these days? I see Mazza hasn't burned the place down yet...though Rump could probably use the insurance money...assuming you could get insurance on this dive...

You know Scooter is right, that story is pretty preposterous there Mr. Drifter...that certainly would never work around here...

Hey Rump...let me get a Bud and three shots of Cuervo while your up and around...

(Let's see how this goes over...)

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

occasion5

12 Jan 2012

Damn, it's been getting rough over here in the forums again I see...

I just hope nobody decides to post this question in the forum over on the blue site...it's been nice and peaceful over there...just saying... happy8

happy8

12 Jan 2012

Ladies and Gentlemen...The Rolling Stones...

12 Jan 2012

And someone in a Facebook group pointed out earlier that you don't have to figure out which forms to use these days, or download anything...there is a link to the eCO (Electronic Copyright Office)

U.S. Copyright Office - Online Services (eCO: Electronic Copyright Office)
http://www.copyright.gov/eco/

See, who says you can't learn anything on Facebook?

12 Jan 2012

Yeah, there is a new one someone was nice enough to point out to me yesterday...posted this earlier in a writing group...I'm sure others here are affected...

Oh, here we go again, and this is getting to be way too much of a regular thing, btw... someone contacted me...my story "Olivia's Ordeal" was stolen and the title changed...lucky they noticed it...they changed it from Olivia to Susan, but you can see from the beginning, it is obviously my story...

SUSAN'S IN JAIL
http://www.amazon.com/SUSANS-IN-JAIL-ebook/dp/B006VXPJVK/

10 Jan 2012

You know, the subject of homemade enemas has been brought up before...

Fortunately, one of the more medically savy members of the community produced an instructional video on this very subject...
http://www.killsometime.com/videos/3614/Diet-Coke-Enema

10 Jan 2012

Good Evening Lushketeers...nice to see everyone still around and getting drunk just over a week into the New Year...

Tell Sharon you may have a bottle available, but don't count on anything actually being left in it...just saying... happy8

happy8

Ah yes...I see Mr. Scooter and Miss Holly both have birthdays coming up in a few days...sounds like a major national drinking holiday in the making if you ask me, not that anyone is asking...but, if that ain't an excuse for major drinking...what is my Lush friends?

Should we start celebrating that major historic event early...like, say, now for instance?

I could use a few alcoholic-type beverages...perhaps a few Dirty Martinis to start off the festivities in style...
Pour Wine

Pour Wine

Pour Wine

Pour Wine

Pour Wine

Pour Wine

Pour Wine

This Holly & Scooter Day should be responsible for more alcohol consumption than the last ten years of Mardi Gras put together by my estimation...again, just saying...

Cheers,
Alan.
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occasion5

7 Jan 2012

Quote by stephanie

What REALLY worries me, is if, you know, when the first kid gets drunk she takes it out and passes it around like a Joint......

Oh, now that's an interesting thought...something tells me you could get creative here and think of a whole new series of "drinking" games... happy8

happy8

You know, you would think that by now one of the more marketing savy tampon manufacturers would have come out with a line of "flavored tampons" designed just for this purpose...

Just my... My 2 cents

My 2 cents

6 Jan 2012

Me thinks the "Blue screen of death" is not a good sign...

6 Jan 2012

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Actually, that was nice...thanks for posting MNP...I see I need to watch TV more often... happy8

happy8

6 Jan 2012

Not sure this one really rates the "Writers Resources" section...but, thought I should post it somewhere...

If you happen to be a writer, and also a cat lover...a new site called "Written? Kitten!" may just be able to provide the perfect incentive you need to keep you writing...as you write, a "cute cat picture" pops up for every 100 words you type, or however many you set it to...

Yeah, can't make this stuff up...check it out... happy8

happy8

Written? Kitten!
http://writtenkitten.net/

Actually, I could think of some variations to the pop-up kitten picture theme...just saying...

6 Jan 2012

Quote by WellMadeMale
and if your parents had a color television set, you were considered to be very damned fortunate, even though you could only receive 3 channels of non-fuzzy over the air network reception.

Lol...yeah, I was 15 years old when my family got a color television...I bet a few here can't even imagine that...

Btw...I remember when payphones had dials...something like this, not sure why I thought of it...

5 Jan 2012

Quote by WellMadeMale

Here ~ That's a horse of a different color. Here...I will sit on something I wanted to submit, for weeks...looking at it.

That I really can't relate to at all...heck, I'm usually so eager to see how a story does I submit it somewhere before I actually read it myself...so much for letting it sit...

That said, there are a couple of stories I was reluctant to submit to Lush because they didn't do real well when posted back in '09 before I joined here, though all but one or two I ended up posting here...

Interestingly...OK, maybe not...but the one story that I submitted here that I was really concerned about really seriously tanking was "Sexual Healing"...that one I was a bit reluctant to submit anywhere, because the main character was a woman with cancer, and I had serious visions of someone clicking on that one, looking for a "stroke story" and saying "What's this shit?" and giving it a 1 vote...

Didn't happen actually, and that ended up being my most popular story as far as reader response...so really, you never know...

5 Jan 2012

Quote by lafayettemister

If a new person posts in one of the Word Games threads with something very sexual, it's really ok. In the "Would you fuck... the person above you" type thread, a new guy may post, "Yea, I'd fuck the shit out of that pussy." So what, he's new. He may not know the proper decorum that's expected.

Wow...someone took their "happy pills" this year...very impressive there L-M...

Btw...what is the "proper decorum" in a "Would you fuck the brains out of the person above you?" thread? I've been here like over two years or something like it, and I still have no clue... dontknow

dontknow

3 Jan 2012

Damn, I really thought I was going to win this year...

Oh wait, I didn't enter...never mind... Regaeman Man

Regaeman Man

Big congrats to all the winners... occasion9

occasion9

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

occasion5

2 Jan 2012

Took me a while to find this place, what happened...nobody come here lately?

Anyway, I would call this "chill out" music...and probably one of the most romantic songs ever, btw...

2 Jan 2012

Hot Damn, I missed this thread somehow...I didn't see anything about use in story tags, btw...

Just saying... happy8

happy8

1 Jan 2012

Quote by Gurlyboy
Can I suggest a ban on pubic hair threads in forums?

Lol...what next then, a ban on penis size and cock picture threads?

Heck, you might as well just get rid of the forum...

1 Jan 2012

...he probably shouldn't even be here, he should be home celebrating his birthday...since according to his Lush Stories profile page it was not only his birthday but everyone on his friends list...he immediately decided he should make a careful exit by...

1 Jan 2012

Good Afternoon Lushkins...yeah Reverend, looks like everyone survived into the New Year, for better or worse I might add...

Did Tose suck a light bulb again? Bet he got a charge out of that...someone pass me a tall glass of Sams Club brandy or I'll sit here and tell jokes all night...or worse yet, sing...

Yeah, I could use a drink...Happy New Year to everyone...and Happy Birthday to the ten thousand or so Lushketeers celebrating today as well... occasion9

occasion9

I be back...
Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5

occasion5

1 Jan 2012

Quote by WellMadeMale
Happy Birthday and New Year - to all my friends!

Oh wait Jeff...I found it!

1 Jan 2012

Quote by cocokisses

What I'm gathering is that if a story has been rated with all fives, regardless of views and time viewed during the month it will be a story pick, is this true?

Yep...it's the top rated stories for that month...and note, that the list will change throughout the month...the one's that are on there now, may or may not stay there as the voting continues...

So, those stories you thought should be up there may very well end up there by the end of the month...

1 Jan 2012

Quote by WellMadeMale

Am I making any sense? I cannot capture multiple comments with the quote feature for the last few days, I've noticed.

I noticed that too...I think they changed it, so there are not long quote-type thingys down the page...

That's my take anyway...

1 Jan 2012

Someone had too much time on their hands...this is kinda funny though, I think next time I'm sitting in Duncan Donuts I'll have to try this... happy8

happy8

1 Jan 2012

Quote by LittleBambi

I wasn't aware I had so many friends born on the same day! If I'd known I woulda baked a biiiiiiiiig cake

Lol...it means there must have been a lot going on in March or so for so many to be born on Jan. 1...anyway, you can work on figuring that out later...

In the meantime...Happy New Year...looks like we survived another one... occasion9

occasion9

Cheers,
Alan.
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31 Dec 2011

Yeah...I've been waiting for this all my life...

Now, if they just had egg flavored edible panties...can you say "Breakfast of Champions?"...

31 Dec 2011

Oh, this is nice...take my word here, better yet watch it...for my video pick today on this New Year's Eve we have Mr. B.B. King...

I know some say he's somewhat overrated as a blues guitarist...but, he's probably at his peak around this time in the mid to late-sixties...you decide my friends...

And best wishes for all in the coming New Year... occasion9

occasion9

31 Dec 2011

Yeah, I agree with the others here...a big Thank You Morgan...

I actually read almost all your writing articles and did not get bored and fall asleep once...that's actually quite an endorsement, believe it or not... happy8

happy8

But, on a slightly more serious note...I think you do a great job here, and have recommended your articles multiple times...

I think Nic did a real good thing bringing you over, btw...stick around, it's a nice place...

Happy Holidays, and best wishes in the coming New Year as well... occasion9

occasion9

Cheers,
Alan.
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PS: Most interesting video there Miss Chatnip...

30 Dec 2011

The traffic on Route 1 here in New Jersey, if truth be told...